Thursday, January 20, 2011

Full-moon fuck-up


I don't even know if it is a full moon or new moon (or if there even is a moon) tonight, because I have lost track...but oh boy.

This morning I had a meeting with a corporate sponsor about upping the amount of money they give to our organization. I spoke with this person on the phone and had exchanged e-mails, but today was the first time we met in the flesh.

Now, I have experienced all kinds of handshakes before: the dead fish handshake (my dad said Richard Nixon had a handshake like that); the dainty not-really-give-you-my-hand handshake; the grip-the-life-out-of-you-and-nearly-crack-your-bones-because-I-have-a-tiny-dick handshake.

But I have never experienced a really sweaty one. Ick. So my first reaction? I stared at my hand, and then wiped it on my pants.

It took about one nanosecond for me to think...

Oh.
FUCK!

I went out of my way to shake his hand lots of times when the meeting ended, and I left with three times the amount of money that his company gave us last year...but still.

I am so embarrassed!

But I'm also wondering: how do your hands get sweaty like that? Was he nervous? I know he didn't hop off the treadmill right before we met.

Then again, perhaps it's better that I don't know.

18 comments:

Holland said...

I don't know why people get sweaty hands, but I know I will happily crush someone's toes with my stiletto heel if he/she shakes my hand in a the grip-the-life-out-of-you-and-nearly-crack-your-bones-because-I-have-a-tiny-dick manner.

Just out of curiosity... did he still have a sweaty handshake at the end of the meeting?

Darth Weasel said...

It my be something genetic. I often find I have to wipe my hands unobtrusively before shaking hands with people lest I leave them with the feeling you were left with...and that is in the most innocuous of situations

Boonie S said...

Do you think that he was sweating the small stuff?
I never sweat. But I do perspire….

All the best, Boonie

G said...

Okay....a post about sweaty hands.

Personally, I don't have sweaty hands but I probably would respond like you did had I come across someone with dripping palms.

As for me, I give very wimpy handshakes, due to the simply fact that I have a neuro-muscular disease in my hands, which has basically turned my hands into two pieces of very dry twigs.

Anything stronger than a young child's grip (I kid you not) and I'm in a good deal amount of pain for the next few hours.

JLee said...

hahha! You know, the full moon was Wed and lots of weirdness has been afoot..or a hand! lol Nothing worse than a sweaty palm,but I don't know if I have experienced that before...

Riot Kitty said...

H: He did!
D: And what happens in the least innocuous of situations? :)
B: Could be! LOL.
G: That sucks. I did once have someone shake my hand so hard that my whole forearm hurt afterward, and I was pissed. The whole concept of hand-shaking is so weird and outdated anyway.
J: I knew there was a reason! I hope you never have to experience it. Ugh.

Lynn said...

Don't beat yourself up too much about that - sounds as if he didn't notice anyway. Yes - sounds like it might have been nerves.

Granny Annie said...

What if he had kissed you with drippy lips?

Riot Kitty said...

L: That's funny, because I was the one asking for money - you'd think I'd be nervous. But I wasn't - especially after I had to tell him, during coffee, that he had whipped cream on his lip :)
GA: EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW
To answer your question, he'd be minus his nuts in a few seconds.

Senorita said...

I understand why you felt bad, but I am sure he is highly aware of his problem and felt just as bad as you and wanted to forget about it. I think you both felt bad.

Loving the LOLcats ! Keep 'em coming !

John McElveen said...

DON'T SWEAT IT!

Sometimes it can be Medical--but usually it's nerves! You Done Good!

John

I think Hugs are cool- but I guess that doesn't fly in bidness---but I hope that Double mwahh Kiss check thing doesn't ever catch on here! Esp. when it's an air kiss.

Hey how about "air" or "almost handshakes????

Yeah, that's the ticket!

FireFiber said...

Psh, handshakes are so 2000. Don't people "poke" each other, on Facebook or summat, these days?

But no seriously, I hate handshakes. I dunno what the other person is expecting; so I usually tighten and loosen my grip like a knob or lever until I think I've hit the sweet spot. Of course, what I don't realize is that people think I'm trying to hand-rape them.

As for sweaty hands; think about this, how the fuck do you sweat from your butt cheeks? Like Tiger Woods: http://www.tmz.com/2010/05/04/tiger-woods-sweatin-his-ass-off/

;)

LL Cool Joe said...

I shook Andrew Lloyd Webber's hand once, and it was limp and clammy.

I said hand!

Riot Kitty said...

John: LOL! And I agree w/the kiss thing.
FF: EEEEEWWWW
Joey: I was only thinking hand!

Riot Kitty said...

S: Forgot to write you...I hope so!

Lulú said...

Ewww! I don't think I've ever experienced the sweaty handshake, but the Richard Nixon and the small dick handshakes really suck (so to speak). I don't know which one is worse.

I'm surprised HE didn't apologize to YOU. He's the one that should be embarrassed because he wet you (so to speak).

Ay, Chica...lol Let me go before I get myself in trouble here. :)

Green Tea said...

I have a friend with sweaty hands..she even has sprayed anti- perspirant on them
It is very embarrassing for her and she has no ides why.
Check my blog Kitty :)

Riot Kitty said...

L: Continue! I like laughing!!
GT: Wow that sucks. I will check the blog!