Saturday, October 09, 2010

My great grandmother used to say...

"It takes all kinds of people to make a world."

Mr. RK revised that for me a couple of weeks ago.

"No," he said, "we're just stuck with all of the kinds there are."

I think he's right.

Today, I think most of those kinds of people helped volunteer at my friend's fundraiser. I went to help out and couldn't believe the kind of shit she had to put up with. Granted, she just started this job (she is a volunteer coordinator) in August and she inherited volunteers from the previous person, who assured her they were all fantastic.

I do events for work and you never know who is going to do well or totally fail until you see them in action. I swear events bring out the worst in some people.

Most of the volunteers were great; one is going to be photoshopped in a Satan costume by Mr. RK for my friend.

Some notable personalities from the event, who were theoretically supposed to be helping (read: not hindering):

Person #1 (picture a female Satan, but less endearing): Approaches Mr. RK, whom she has never met before, and says, "The big people shouldn't sit at the ends of the table! They get in the way!" She was so rude to one of the attendees that I looked right at her and said, "You must be nice to the guests."

She also asked over and over again why everyone wasn't eating at the same time. Um, because they arrived at different times, and it's a spaghetti feed. Not formal.

She told us there was no more spaghetti, causing everyone minor panic, when in truth the next batch was cooking.

She made a big fuss about someone who hadn't gotten their food. I rushed over with a plate of pasta. Turns out the person had eaten already.

Then some poor schmuck brought her spaghetti and she barked, "Not now! I'm eating my salad first."

Never have I been so tempted to shove a noodle up someone's nose.

Person #2: Whom I have never met before, asks, "Are you pissed at me or something?" Huh? Should I be? But when I left she acted like I was her best friend. Go figure. Perhaps because I did not shove a noodle up her nose, either.

Person #3: Thinking it was remiss that we did not have flowers on the tables, she broke off some small tree branches and brought them in and tried to put them in the donation cups on the tables. We said no. She said why not? We said no again. And again and again and again.

Person #4: Kept standing in front of me looking at the auction items before we were finished setting them up. I said, "Excuse me," literally four times before his wife said, "You're in her way! Let's move." Brilliant idea.

The guests, for the most part, were better behaved, if some were a little clueless.

I behaved. I did not say the things I really wanted to say, such as...

Guest #1: "Why didn't we get salads?"
Me: "Because we don't like you."

Guest #2: "Why can't we open up the (new, wrapped) garden set? Everything else is open and you can touch things."
Me: "Why don't you try the pants of that gentleman over there? I'm sure he's taking bids."

My poor friend has had one of the worst weeks of her life (before having to do her first big event) and I told her, "Don't worry, it's always so much easier the next time around. You do one event, and another...and then you start a blog."


Fireblossom said...

Remind me never to do any events.

Btw, your lolcats keep getting funnier.

G said...

Frankly, the cat shocked the shit out of me when I saw it my reader this morning, although it wouldn't be such a bad idea from time to time.

Anywho, all these "volunteers" reminds me of my mother's abysmal behavior at all kinds of events where she's guest but tries to run things just the same.

Scarlet Ily said...

"Why don't you try the pants of that gentleman over there? I'm sure he's taking bids." Chica, you kill me! :D

Claire said...

Oh man. People can be so frustrating!


Lynn said...

I'm putting together volunteers for a booth next weekend and sent a blanket letter a few weeks ago about it. I'm now only calling the people I hope will help man the booth - from past experiences like this.

This cracked me up though and you were a good friend to help.

Granny Annie said...

I shall begin at once to carry around a baggie of noodles and cannot wait to say "I have noodles and I'm not afraid to use them!"

If there were not weird people in this world, what would we have to blog about?

Holland said...

Some volunteers are almost human... but not quite there yet.

That is a great piece of advice you gave your friend: "... then you start a blog". lol

Riot Kitty said...

FB: Here's your reminder! And thankfully there is Google image search...
G: If I have another week like this one, I may not think it's such a bad idea, either!
SI: I really would have said it if I could have gotten away with it...
C: So true! My question is...why do there have to be so many of them?
L: It's definitely something that's a trial by fire experience!
GA: Fantastic!! And good point ;)
H: Not quite there yet is right! And I really did say that about starting a blog.

Senorita said...

Good thing you didn't go all lolcat on her !

Volunteering always brings out the twatwaffles and tainttwinkies.


Darth Weasel said...

first, kudos for continuing to do that job which involves so many irritating, frustrating things. Well done.

Second, while to be sure it would be great if we were all shapely, model-worthy people, I really, really get sick of people who A) base worth, self or impugned, based on weight, and B) people who said stupid stuff like that where people can hear it.

To be sure in the case of some people, such as myself, the excess weight has a lot to do with choices: like eating a lot and exercising a little.

But in other case it might be genetic, it might be because the person has chosen to invest their effort in other arenas...I can name off the top of my head 4 people of rather excessive size whogot that way because instead of spending time exercising, they dedicated their lives to helping others.

I am getting off on a rant, so I will end here. Bu there is lots more to say...

Riot Kitty said...

S: It was tempting!
Darth: This was actually volunteering for another friend in the organization...and yeah, that woman was an insensitive bitch.

LL Cool Joe said...

Sounds like many events that are organised at our church. The problem is you can't turn round and tell the ministers wife to fuck off and stop being such a pain in the arse.

RA said...

Oh sounds like you had quite a day there. The cat looks happy, though. :D

Mama Zen said...

Any volunteer that has to be told to be nice to the guests should be shot.

Shionge said...

Hey I am so with you on this as I am a volunteer for the Single Mom Group and sometimes we just have to blend in with the flow.

We can't always do the things we wanted it to be but at the end of the day, it is a fruitful cause isn't it?

Riot Kitty said...

Joey: Yeah, that might be a small breach of etiquette.
RA: I'm tempted to follow that cat!
MZ: An excellent suggestion, I'll tell my friend!
S: True, it's a good cause - it's the people who are irritating!

Boonie S said...

It takes all sorts, uh? I wish you better luck next time.

Have a nice day, Boonie

Aliceson said...

Wow! Not sure that I would have been able to hold my tongue with that foolishness going on. Seriously, did their parents teach them nothing about how to act in public?

Green Tea said...

I think I've met that Lady... :>)