Saturday, October 16, 2010

Is there innuendo everywhere?

Mr. RK was snacking and watching a show today that featured this dialogue:

Woman #1: "I like it to be 12 inches."

Woman #2: "Some people's 12 inches are different than others."

Woman #1: "Ooooh, I can see all the nuts!"

OK perverts, he was watching a vegetarian cooking show. They were making biscotti.

The hilarious part: Mr. RK said neither of the two women even stifled a grin.

I'd think this was a pretty obvious opportunity to laugh. Or am I just a pervert?

It reminded me of a time when I went on an exchange in Oaxaca, Mexico. My host family had explained the expression "doble sentido," or "double meaning." A couple of days later we were peeling plantains to fry.

"Watch out for some of the bananas, they can get really big!" my host mother said. I didn't get it until everyone roared.

At work a few weeks ago, I didn't aim quite as high but I still flopped. My boss wanted to know if the curriculum for one of our education classes would fit into a standard 1 1/2" binder.

"I think it needs a bigger one," he said.

"Size matters," I replied.

Dead. Silence.

As a business reporter, covering retail sales one year, my lead sentence for a story was this: "When it comes to holiday shopping, size matters." The point of the story was that big chain stores seemed to be doing OK, but smaller stores weren't doing as well.

I got away with it that one time, but the next time I had to do a retail story, my (male) editor said, "And by the way - this time, don't write about how size matters!"


Fireblossom said...

You def have Squirrel Fever.

Lynn said...

That sounds like a great headline to me. :)

LL Cool Joe said...

I think innuendo is some of the funniest humour ever. My saying "As the actress said to the bishop" is all about innuendo.

iasa said...

Wow, those nuts must be big if you can see them behind all that biscotti.

G said...



And he says with a sly grin innuendo is the about the only acceptable way that one can 'cheat' on another without getting into trouble.

Senorita said...

There is so much innuendo out there, but you and I are pervs so we see it when it comes. (Ooh, a pun !)

I got my camshaft and crankshaft sensors replaced in my car and my worker explained how the "shafts" in my car work, and he could not do it without me and the other dude busting out laughing !

Darth Weasel said...

I had something to say but forgot what it was. Ah, nuts, maybe it will come back to me

Darrin.. said...

Now.. if you woulda said the done to death.. "That's what she said" he may have cracked up!

Riot Kitty said...

FB: I wish I could use that as an excuse...
L: Good idea! I'd love to read an article accompanying that.
Joey: What does that mean? Explain to this ignorant American please...
Iasa: I suppose so ;)
G: Exactly ;)
S: I would have laughed so hard I'd probably have pissed my yeah, I guess we're both perverts.
Darth: *Groan* Yes, you would like a spanking!
Darrin: Unfortunately I wasn't so fast on the uptake...

Alpha Za said...

haha, this is hilarious.

The use of innuendos is definitely one of lifes great pleasures.

Scarlet Ily said...

LMAO - "Size matters," indeed. :)

Chica, you should see how big the yuccas get here in Miami! In fact, for my bridal shower, my uncle wrapped a 20-pounder in a bouquet flower box (as a joke) and my family and friends still talk about it was SO obscene!!

PS - You, a pervert? Hahahaha

Riot Kitty said...

AZ: It is indeed!
SI: That is hilarious!

Shionge said...

Hehehehe.....I'll watch cooking show in a different light now LOL