Monday, February 01, 2010
Will sensible language please stand up?
Being a writer, I can't stand it when people butcher language. Corporate-speak is especially irritating. And people who use language that's overly complicated when it really doesn't need to be, well, they grind my gears too.*
But just when you thought corporate-speak couldn't get any worse, I saw something new.
Now correct me if I'm wrong - "decision" is a noun, no?
This is what I read when filling out an application online: "Unfortunately, we could not decision your application online, and will be sending you a letter in the mail when we figure out what the fuck we want to do."
OK, I made that last part up. But not the part in bold.
What the fuck? Shall we take this offline? Think outside of the box? Fastrack that perhaps? Or gift it to another corporate-speak dictionary?
Granted, it was a corporate web site. So is it reasonable to expect proper language, say, on the side of a box of something we bought at the grocery store.
Oat milk = milk made from oats. Right?
"This blah blah blah product, made from oat groats..."
What the fuck are "oat groats"? Don't they sound like something you'd spit out after swallowing one by accident?
Mr. RK, who is trying out the oat milk, went online to find the answer.
An "oat groat" is an oat before it has been processed, shucked, etc. So it's just an...oat.
I suppose this bugs me because it takes something simple and tries to dress it up, but the end result is just ridiculous.
How about you? Read anything like that lately?
*Brownie points if you catch that cartoon reference.