Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Living outside the city limits of stupid

I live about six miles from the city limits of Portland, Oregon, mainly because within those city limits are a bunch of people who make Berkeley, California residents look sane.

This is not a political comment - I mean the City of Portland and the people in it do some weird shit.

I'm still adjusting to living in a state with a beaver on the flag, right outside a town with the word beaver in its name. It just seems a bit ... well, odd.

But anyway, if you needed further proof that Portlanders were a bit nuts, read this story.

The headline made me wonder:
Giant rocks, heading to the beach, scare Portland commuters

Hello! We are an hour and a half from the coast, and just 20 minutes or so from rural areas. Yet people in Portland are scared of big rocks on trucks? So scared, in fact, that they call the Oregon Department of Transportation?

I can imagine what the calls would sound like:

ODOT operator: "Yes?"
Portland driver: "Um. I just saw someone driving a truck with a big rock in the back!"
Operator: "Yes?"
Driver: "Well, what if someone is smuggling them in illegally, to, um, build a castle or something? Oh wait - can ya hang on - I'm spilling the hemp milk for my $5 coffee in my lap..."
Operator: "Sir?"
Driver: "No, don't worry, I have a bluetooth and good brakes, I mean I know about the cell phone law, but the rocks...they're a bit...scary."

Postscript: I really did have some idiot call today, from his car, requesting a phone number. "Don't worry," he said, "I have a bluetooth and good brakes!"

Not a good brain to go with it, unfortunately.

PPS Thank you, Fireblossom, for providing this excellent picture and caption!


Darth Weasel said...

does it help or hurt to see all those bumper stickers, "Keep Portland Weird" on vehicles of all descriptions? It is like a pokint of pride for many Portlanders.

The Peach Tart said...

Yes a Beaver on the flag is a little odd to me too.

Granny Annie said...

You said "beaver". (grin)

Lynn said...

That is an interesting view of Portland. I can see why living a few miles away might make a little difference. :)

Claire said...

I was about to type "I love your beaver!" and then I dissolved into giggles for, like, an hour.

I'm such a child.


Riot Kitty said...

Darth: What is a pokint? :)
PT: It's sort of ridiculous, isn't it?
GA: :)
Lynn: I forgot your niece lives here! What does she think?
Claire: I'll probably be giggling for an hour, too.

LL Cool Joe said...

"I really did have some idiot call today, from his car, requesting a phone number. "Don't worry," he said, "I have a bluetooth and good brakes!"

What a twat.

Fireblossom said...

oOoo, RK is flashing my beaver!

Wait a minute, that sounded wrong!

Riot Kitty said...

Joey: That just about sums it up!
FB: And so I am! LOL

Darrin.. said...

Wow. I've got some family that lives in Beaverton. The pieces are all starting to fall in place now. LOL!

vivavavoom said...

my mom lives in a small town 20 minutes outside of Portland and she is ALL kinds of crazy!!! I love Portland and would live there in a second but the fact that she is 20 minutes away has kept the idea from becoming a reality for years now.

Ily said...

Hemp milk for my $5 coffee! Ha!

Love the image and caption!

JLee said...

I think they've been eating too much granola..ha

Riot Kitty said...

Darrin: No way!
Viva: Same reason I won't move to Vegas :)
Ily: You laugh, but it's true :)
JLee: You are right!