Monday, December 22, 2008

The whitest fucking Christmas, ever.


So call me Scrooge. For reasons unbeknownst to me - because it does freeze now and again each winter here - the Portland, Oregon metro area refuses to invest in de-icing, de-snowing technology on a scale grand enough that we can escape our homes when the weather hates us.


Some statistics for you:

In the past 8 days, we've gotten 14.5" of snow here - a record - the last time we had that much was in 1968.


Said snow is more than the total snowfall for the entire winter each year, for every year back until 1980.

Stir-crazy, Mr. Riot Kitty and I went out to get groceries and coffees today. When they played "Let It Snow" at the cafe, I thought there would be riots.

"The people making money," he notes, "own body shops." Pause. "And 976 sex hotlines."

My new mantra: Let It Melt! Oh please, please, please.

Because I am turning into Scrooge.

PS! However, lest I get too Scroogey...check out Darth Weasel's hilarious post about snow shoveling as it relates to weight loss...

13 comments:

Misty said...

Hope your snow melts soon! (we get so much snow each winter, two feet seems like nothing to us..but i STILL hate it!)

Scarlet said...

I'm finding it hard to feel sorry for you with those beautiful winter wonderland photos. Seriously. Try singing "Let It Snow" when it's 85 degrees out and you're wearing a tank top, shorts and flip flops!

Shionge said...

Oh wow, sure is alot of snow there RK. I know this is something you do not enjoy but with sunny weather all year round I love to see that snow :) Sorry RK :D

Granny Annie said...

"F" the snow! I think that basically translates your post. Am I correct? I'm going for word conservation.

D said...

Damn. Better you than me. I'm no longer 10, which means snow is no longer of any use to me. I have to shovel it and still go to work. If I received snow days, I would be outside doing a snow dance right about now.

Riot Kitty said...

M: How much does it take where you are for things to close?

S & S: It's OK! I'll trade places with you! Really!

A: Yep, in a nutshell :)

D: I wouldn't mind the weather if they'd have a way of dealing with it...it's the being stuck part!

Riot Kitty said...

And - oh yes - my horoscope for today says:

Some of your plans might have to be postponed or canceled outright today -- someone with more power is on the scene. And whether you like it or not, they are going to be calling the shots.

*"They" being the weather, of coures...

Heff said...

That's one HELL of a lot of snow.

Darth Weasel said...

ah, the joys of a white Christmas. Ironically, I went walking in the stuff again today. Walked about 2 miles around 42nd and SANDY. No problem. Took the Max back out to 142nd. Walked about 2 miles over to Division, no problem. Went to Fred Meyer, Pet Smart, headed home. Got back to 175th, no problem. For those keeping track, about 5.5 miles so far all told. Got a block from the house...and face planted. Hysterical. I can walk for miles with no issues, but get me close to home, I am going down.

*sigh*

On the bright side, it did allow me to get off my new favorite joke about 30 times; asking people busy snow shoveling, "Weren't you supposed to mow the lawn today?"

My favorite response?
"No, that is just Fridays."

leftcoast said...

The good news about this crappy weather is that people aren't flocking to the mall, so the rest of us are able to drive across town without having to deal with the shoppers.

JLee said...

Oh, I know it sucks, but I love snow! lol
We never get to see it here. Have a Merry and safe Christmas ;)

Anonymous said...

"The whitest fucking Christmas, ever." I get the feeling this will soon be a classic Christmas song. We should work on some lyrics. :)

-Emily

Green tea said...

Posting late on Dec 26th

I don't mind the snow, but this F'ing gloominess is really getting to me.
No sun is 3 days..I just want to climb in bed and cover my head..