Monday, September 22, 2008

Why I can never be a nurse's assistant

A good friend who has a background in marketing has boldly decided to switch careers. She's on the way to nursing school, and just got her CNA training completed.

She has been working, temporarily, at an assisted living facility. I didn't know - should have known, I suppose - what "assisted" entailed.

She is also nice enough to volunteer at my office, and the other day she said, "Remind me to tell you some stories from work sometime."

Me: "What kind of stories?"
She: "Well, let's just say I had an interesting experience with someone's foreskin the other day."


Apparently, Gentleman X needs help with the urinal. (Friend, you are a better person than me. I could never make it as a CNA, let alone a parent.)

She: "So when he peeled back his own foreskin the other day at the urinal, he peed on me."

Me: "Yuck!"

She: "So I learned. And the next time, I peeled it back, like they showed us in training (!!!) but...I think he thought I was playing with him."

Me: Giggles uncontrollably and almost falls over. "No, no, no way! I'm sure he didn't think that!" More giggles.

The next day, I heard part 2. Note to the uninitiated: memory loss does not mix well with help at the urinal.

She: "So did I tell you what happened yesterday? He told me he had to go to the bathroom, so we went to the urinal and I took down his pants. And then he said, 'WHY ARE YOU UNDRESSING ME????!!!!!!!!!'"

Me: Laughing so hard I almost piss my pants.

Fortunately, she has a new job now.

As for me, I think I'll stick with the writing and fundraising.


Claire said...

Oh my. She's far braver and kinder than I'll ever be, I think.


Darth Weasel said...

but just think of all the sideline jobs she could get demonstrating those skills...


Scarlet said...

I love my job more now that you've shared this story. ;)

Green tea said...

I worked as a Psch Aid with the mentally Ill for several years before I married.
I loved it..
I tried working at a nursing home
years later and lasted 2 days..not for me..

JLee said...

Nurses are angels in my opinion. Well, most of them ;)