Saturday, August 16, 2008

Putting the Ho-Ho-Ho back in the holidays

Special Guest Blogger

Mike D

I have known Riot Kitty for over 10 years, when we met in Washington, D.C. She was visiting a mutual friend and I was working for a foreign embassy at the time. We took off from there. So, when she asked me to re-tell this story I had conveyed to her during her last trip to New York City, how could I refuse?

Several years ago, I was a new web/graphic designer in Connecticut. Once I was there a few weeks, I was told the primary reason I got hired was to help the lead designer with an “adult” (i.e. porn) website.

Actually, it was the website for a well-known adult store around the area. After working there for a few months, the site was done, so there was one last thing that needed to be done before it went live. I was told to test the site.

That’s right, folks. Test the site. Make sure it won’t break or break down or any number of things that could happen to a website where you could buy stuff. Adult stuff. They gave me a fake credit card and I went nuts. I bought dildoes (to quote a comedian, is this the plural of dildo? I wonder), I bought videos; I bought various plugs and sex toys.

Just to make sure some pervert chucklehead didn’t accidentally break the site or get his whack-off material for free. I got paid for this, people. My uncle thought it was the funniest thing he ever heard.

This was also around Christmas, so my boss had me design a Christmas-y home page for the site. With the catch-phrase, and I shit you not: We Put the Ho-Ho-Ho Back in Your Holidays. With garland, trees and blinking lights.

Then this ass of an owner tells my boss he doesn’t want to pay us for the work done on the site. My boss told him that if he “could convince my guys to work for free, knock yourself out.” Preferably with a dildo. I added that one myself.

What a job.

Special Guest Blogger


Claire said...

You now have me puzzling over what the plural of dildo could be, if it's *not* dildoes!

Great story.


JLee said...

Wow. I want that job! haha

Scarlet said...

It couldn't have been told any better. Wow! My job is so lame compared to this one.

Darth Weasel said...

I just like the part where they don't want to pay...what possible reason could they have? THey didn't O just from seeing the site?

Coby said...

Too damn funny! I thought P Diddy put the Ho Ho Ho back into xmas? It reminds me that at some point we all need to restock our adult toys and make mastercard very happy indeed!

Riot Kitty said...

Mike: That is my dream job! LOL M

Mike D said...

Thanks everybody!!!

Mike D

Foster Communications said...

Dang, that's messed up!