Top 10 things I don't miss about my last job

No one likes to get laid off - especially over e-mail and when on vacation. But it's sort of a relief, honestly.

Here are the top 10 things I will miss the least:

1. Getting 50 e-mails every Monday morning, at least half of them with questions I have answered previously.

2. Getting another 50 over the course of the next week that begin with, "Please redouble your efforts and do what you can do bring in money..."

3. Getting an e-mail requesting that I mail yet another 100 packages of books to people who aren't interested in them.

4. Getting calls from authors who are convinced their book should be on Oprah and/or is "the next bestseller."

5. Being told the company can't afford to give myself or anyone else a raise, followed by my old boss running out and spending $600 on an iphone that he managed to lose twice in a week.

6. Having my ex-boss refuse to have in-person meetings, instead requesting e-mails, and then having him ask me to come in and clarify in person, because he did not understand the e-mails.

7. Having the 23-year-old, newly minted, moody sales guy rant and rave poetic about how much he hates working there when the boss is absent, and then kiss ass when the boss is there.

8. Dealing with one author in particular, initials BF (and not as in "Best Friend," but rather, "Badly annoying Fuckhead"), who was a huge pain in the ass with a mediocre book, but convinced that he was the next Shel Silverstein. Stick with engineering, my friend.

9. Being hourly when it was convenient for my ex-boss, and salaried when it was convenient for him, along with other flaps of labor law.

10. Not hearing the water run in the sink when my ex-boss ran in and out of the bathroom, and then watching him reach into my bag of chips to take a handful.