Wednesday, June 20, 2007

More from (rural) Craigslist

Another one I just couldn't make up:

Wanted - Goat Goodies (goat manure)

Reply to:
Date: 2007-06-13, 10:00AM PDT

Wanted for free - goat manure or chicken manure for my vegetable garden. Somewhere within 20 miles of Rainier, Oregon. I don't want to drive too far in my gas guzzling truck!

Thank you!

*Uh, what?*

What I'd like to know is this: How did this yokel arrive at the notion that it has to be goat shit? I mean, was there a breakfast conversation out yonder on the farm that went like this (see below)?

"You look sad Ethyl."

"Well Burt, you know those cucumbers aren't nearly as green as they were last year."

(Burt's face brightens up and he pops a big grin and snaps his fingers.)

"I know just the thing, Ethyl! We'll get that miracle goat manure for them! That'll make 'em grow big."

(Big smile from Ethyl.)

"Oh, Burt, every day I wake up and thank the Lord I married a smart man such as yourself. If I had married Carl Higgins next door, he would have suggested something stupid like regular cow manure, and where would our prize-winning cucumbers be then?"

*Just a scenario. You never know with those people in Clark County.*


Darth Weasel said...

even better...he only wants it free this time. what, does he normally pay to acquire this marvelous wonder substance?

leftcoast said...

Maybe someone should tell him that if he gets his own chickens, that they will miraculously produce their own manure and then he won't have to drive his gas guzzling truck anywhere to collect someone else's shit.

And maybe with the money that he saves on eggs and chicken shit, he can save enough to trade in his gas guzzler for a more economical truck.

Just sayin'.