Sunday, June 10, 2007

More about chickens

Seriously, there is something wrong with the people who post on Portland craigslist in the "items wanted" section.

OK, any of you who have been in that section already know that. There has been a serious degeneration of the site, and the people posting (the same five with animal names?) It has slid rapidly downhill in the past few years - I am grateful but so amazed, considering how it has hit nearly rock bottom, that I met my husband and Sr. Woodchuck there.

But anyway - that's another rant altogether.

This is meant to be a rant about people posting for animals *in* the items wanted column in the first place - and that column can be a scary place indeed...although I notice that absolutely NO ONE is looking for the "Megadick" product whose spam ads grace our computers each day at work...

So anyway, here's another gem involving chickens:

1 hen - $4

Reply to
Date: 2007-06-10, 5:31PM PDT

I need a hen asap! I had two chickens, but a raccoon got one of them the other night and now the other is lonely. Please E-mail if you have a hen/pullet (6+ weeks old) that i could adopt from you.


Location: SE Portland

So I have some questions for the person or people in need of a hen.

First of all: if you "need a hen asap," you probably also need mental help.

Secondly: SE PDX isn't exactly a rural area. Where the hell did you put the hens? Out in the yard? Did they escape from your laundry room? (See previous post about idiots who bought 10 chickens and no coop.)

Point 3: Nowhere very safe, obviously, because a raccoon showed up and took one.

Which brings me to point 4: How are you planning to keep the new chicken away from Mr. Racoon hen-eating monster? Spray them with Raccoon-away? Or are you going to just keep replacing them like tires, but cheaper and with beaks?

And lastly, how, pray tell, do you come up with the $4 figure? Is that the going rate for hens these days? Obviously the raccoon didn't think so.


Darth Weasel said...

I am afraid to make any raccoon-related jokes might almost say I was....chicken? Ooh, that was bad, I better not crow about it. I think I actually laid an egg with that joke.

Seriously though, when will people take chicken safety seriously? This rash of raccoon related crimes is out of hand. How, exactly, do they know it was a raccon? Was there a witness? Or are raccoons the generic criminal of the animal world? "Yes, he was black and gray with rings around his eyes." Is that the description people give whenever there is a chicken missing? Or did they have security camera rolling? I am a bit confused here...

DeborahOfChicCosas.Com said...

Your chicken/hen/rooster posts are making me shoot Diet Coke out my nose.Seriously.