A smorgasboard of funny

Somehow the subject of internet rules and the lack of them at work came up at work with a couple of volunteers yesterday. Out of the blue, one of my longtime volunteers (who is going to be 70 this winter) - serious, organized, doesn't ever swear - says, "Sometimes I visit light porn sites just to confuse Google. Because I hate it that they track everything I visit! So I like to throw them off a bit."

The volunteer sitting next to her is a guy right out of high school. Both of our jaws drop. Then he says, "Oh, I do that too for the same reason sometimes!"

And I blurt out, "Right! You must hate having to do that."

Then we were talking about how sometimes websites get hijacked and we've been there by mistake. The first volunteer said she went to the Better Homes & Gardens website one day and it had been hacked by some serious porn.

After he left, she came up to me and said, "You know, I'm open with you, and I forget that I don't know if I should be open with him! (The other volunteer.) So I didn't say what the site was. Their site was bhg.com, and it came up "Big Hung Guys!" So now I type out 'Better Homes and Gardens" just in case!"

Yes, this really happened. The guy volunteer assured me this is like common talk around his family's dinner table. Supposedly his dad is a pathologist, but maybe he's really Ron Jeremy.

Anyhow. I am doing the happy dance (see below) because after 2 1/2 years of wrangling, I finally got the title I was after. It's a small change but it was important to me. My boss slipped it casually into a conversation we were having about a program we're launching that I'm going to be managing, along with two people.

"And your title will change. And so..."

And I said, "I could kiss you! But I won't." He looked vaguely alarmed and kept going.

Still in shock from the casual promotion (no more money, but we're a nonprofit and I am so happy that I don't care) and the casual mention of light porn (what is considered "light," I wonder?) I came home and emailed my family. (After I excitedly called my brother and told him I had good news to tell my dad RIGHT FUCKING NOW, and he said to go out to dinner, his treat. Thanks Dad!)

My dad adds to the end of his email:

PS  I accidentally signed my emails to your brother N Poo instead of Pop so many times it's my new name. Then trying to send Poo I send Pii so I guess I'm now just the Pii and Poo
guy!

I have been called worse.