Wednesday, August 21, 2013

A smorgasboard of funny

Somehow the subject of internet rules and the lack of them at work came up at work with a couple of volunteers yesterday. Out of the blue, one of my longtime volunteers (who is going to be 70 this winter) - serious, organized, doesn't ever swear - says, "Sometimes I visit light porn sites just to confuse Google. Because I hate it that they track everything I visit! So I like to throw them off a bit."

The volunteer sitting next to her is a guy right out of high school. Both of our jaws drop. Then he says, "Oh, I do that too for the same reason sometimes!"

And I blurt out, "Right! You must hate having to do that."

Then we were talking about how sometimes websites get hijacked and we've been there by mistake. The first volunteer said she went to the Better Homes & Gardens website one day and it had been hacked by some serious porn.

After he left, she came up to me and said, "You know, I'm open with you, and I forget that I don't know if I should be open with him! (The other volunteer.) So I didn't say what the site was. Their site was bhg.com, and it came up "Big Hung Guys!" So now I type out 'Better Homes and Gardens" just in case!"

Yes, this really happened. The guy volunteer assured me this is like common talk around his family's dinner table. Supposedly his dad is a pathologist, but maybe he's really Ron Jeremy.

Anyhow. I am doing the happy dance (see below) because after 2 1/2 years of wrangling, I finally got the title I was after. It's a small change but it was important to me. My boss slipped it casually into a conversation we were having about a program we're launching that I'm going to be managing, along with two people.

"And your title will change. And so..."

And I said, "I could kiss you! But I won't." He looked vaguely alarmed and kept going.
Still in shock from the casual promotion (no more money, but we're a nonprofit and I am so happy that I don't care) and the casual mention of light porn (what is considered "light," I wonder?) I came home and emailed my family. (After I excitedly called my brother and told him I had good news to tell my dad RIGHT FUCKING NOW, and he said to go out to dinner, his treat. Thanks Dad!)

My dad adds to the end of his email:


PS  I accidentally signed my emails to your brother N Poo instead of Pop so many times it's my new name. Then trying to send Poo I send Pii so I guess I'm now just the Pii and Poo
guy!

I have been called worse.

19 comments:

Birdie said...

I get overloaded with, "Ahh Bra". My life is so boring. (I actually just typed boning.)

Elephant's Child said...

I love that you got your title (finally). So? What is it? Her high and mightiness? She who bloody better be obeyed?
My blog got hijacked by a serious porn site. Urk. Somehow it got added to my reading list (despite me not being included as a follower) and I cannot get myself removed. I feel dirty thinking about it.

OldLady Of The Hills said...

I don't understand how things get hijacked---And I PRAY it doesn't ever happen to me....!
That IS funny, though, about the Porn site...
CONGRATS on your title change, my dear---I think that is just great!
Sometimes the recognition really does top the money...!

Claire T said...

Congrats on the new title, sweetie! Great news.

Lynn said...

So what's the new title??? Congratulations. Love the lol cats. :) That lady volunteer sounds fun!

Granny Annie said...

I cannot wait to drop that line at the senior center during lunch on Friday. "Sometimes I visit light porn sites just to confuse Google. Because I hate it that they track everything I visit! So I like to throw them off a bit."

That should get them to listen. Yesterday one of the fellows asked me, "Where's your old man? I haven't seen him in a while." Duh!

Rock Chef said...

Just because someone is getting old doesn't mean that they aren't interested any more...

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Congrats on your new job title! I hope you celebrate by going to a light porn site. (You can't see anything at the dark ones. Hey, a friend told me.)

A Beer For The Shower said...

Congratulations on the new title! It's not "Riot Kitty, Esquire", is it?

Also, if it's in the name of confusing Google, then I guess I must go search for porn... Riot Kitty told me I probably should...

Abby said...

Throwing off google = likely story.

Happy new title!! Well deserved, I'm sure. And, I'm a "lights off" kinda girl myself...

Charles Gramlich said...

Congrats!

Lee said...

Yeah! What's your new title, RC?

I've had a few titles throughout my life...many of which others only have used behind me back, I'd say! ;)

Porn I'm not into...but I do visit a lot of prawn sites...looking for recipes!

Mike_D said...

CONGRATS!!!!

Cheryl said...

Congrats on the new title. Yay for you. Sometimes it's not about the money but the acknowledgement that you are doing a great job.

That is really funny about the older volunteer saying she visits light porn sites. I don't understand her reasoning, though. If I want to confuse Google, I don't want them thinking I am into porn.

Very cute about your dad being excited for your promotion. Good dad!!!

Riot Kitty said...

Hey thanks everyone! It's manager of Kibbles and Bits. Just kidding. It's manager of category X and category Y. In the past, it was manager of X and coordinator of Y, even though I managed Y.

Dexter Klemperer said...

That's hilarious! That reminds me of the time I was bored at work some years ago so I just started googling random friends from my past and it turns out one old friend had the same name as a gay male porn star and I ended up with a long list of porn sites (probably including bhg.com). So yeah, I don't do that anymore.

Memphis Steve said...

Yes, clicking on some porn through Google just to throw off their databases. I do that too. I do that all the time. Sometimes I do that for hours just to make sure they got the point. Yep.

G. B. Miller said...

Again, congrabulations to the promo sans money.

To answer your query, light porn is Playboy.

All the other mags that we (or rather I) grew up with: Penthouse and Hustler, are now considered to be hardcore.

Betty Manousos said...

yay! congrats on the new title!
great news.
love the lol cats.
bottom kitty made me smile! day i got cookie!

big hugs!