A few funny things happened this week (of course.)
Today, one of my colleagues from another office came in and made us laugh so hard my cheeks hurt.
"Well! I didn't realize the traffic in Portland was so BAD! And then you won't believe what happened. This guy totally cut me off and almost caused an accident and you know what?"
This is what: the vehicle that cut him off was a business vehicle. Right on the side, it said, "Mobile #..."
To that number, my colleague, who is normally very mellow, texted "ASSHOLE!"
Then, the guy started calling him. Then my colleague realized that although he didn't want to answer it, he also didn't want the guy to get to voicemail because it was his work cell phone (and a greeting including the name of his place of employment), so he kept picking it up and then hanging up.
Then he got a nasty text: "You annoying Prius-driving f*g!" I don't even want to type it. But the first thing out of my mouth was, "You drive a Prius? You're not an asshole!" He goes, "I know! All of other people I know who drive them are complete jerks!" (Apologies to non-jerks reading this who drive Priuses.)
So my colleague texts back, tongue-in-cheek, "I am sorry if my car or my sexual orientation offend you."
And then...radio silence! Bullies are cowards. We think this jackass probably shit his pants when he realized he had actually texted that pathetic expletive to an actual gay person.
So...in other strange news, not even knowing it was a full moon last night, I managed to trip and drop my car keys down a sewer grate in a parking lot. What are the odds? Mind you, everyone who has found out about it (except Mr. RK) has said, "I'm always afraid that will happen to me!"
On the contrary, I've feared many things, but not dropping keys into a sewer, and it actually happened.
Stupidly, I put my hand through the grate and took off some skin - right before my first meeting at an organization that was voting me onto their board. (Yes, I clean up nicely.)
I promise not to wrestle any sewers this weekend. And yes, my book is still for sale! There's my shameless plug. If you've already bought it, we would love a review! No publicity is bad publicity! And it would help make up for a member of my extended family who didn't even bother to respond to our email about it.
Follow-up email: did you get the news about our book?
Response (even though I wrote about how you don't have to have a Kindle to get it, and detailed the info about the Kindle Cloud reader): "I don't have a Kindle. I am glad you two are working together."
That sort of sounded like, "I am glad you and your brother are folding napkins together."
And kind of made me feel like this.
And yes, that is the side of the family where my dad is convinced I share less DNA with than I share with a banana.