Tuesday, April 02, 2013

Something else I couldn't make up

The weekend before last, my stepmom was in town for a quilting convention. (Everyone asks me what she does with the quilts: she gifts them to us, and other lucky people, and makes them for kids in the hospital.)

So Mr. RK took the unusual step of cleaning out his car prior to her visit. Amongst the mess he found an unfamiliar legal envelope. Inside, there was a DVD that said, "Bridget the Midget's All-Night Gang Bang." Like one of my college journalism professors put it, "There are magazines that cater to interests I didn't even know existed."

I am not making this up.

Apparently, one of his co-workers slid it under the seat a few weeks ago when they went out to lunch, and waited for Mr. RK to find it.

And how did he get it? The plot thickens.

A few months ago,the co-worker's brother's truck was stolen. It was later recovered completely trashed, and inside, the cops found used syringes, nasty porn DVDs (including this one) and three dildos, two of which were described as "in good condition."

"What about the third one?" I asked.

"It had teethmarks," Mr. RK reported back.

I couldn't make this up.

Apparently this came up at a work meeting (!) and another of Mr. RK's co-workers asked to borrow it. He's going to put it in his brother's truck so his sister-in-law will find it.

And you thought your life was interesting. But you don't live near Portlandia, do you?


Elephant's Child said...

Kitty is right. I R grossed out too. Brilliant story though.

OldLady Of The Hills said...

All that energy and talent going into a DVD like this? WOW! The things people do with their time!
This is an amazing story.

Lynn said...

I am laughing so hard here - thank you. Wiping eyes. :)

Claire said...

As ever, your stories crack me up!

LL Cool Joe said...

This kind of thing only happens to you or your family! Honestly I live such a quiet life.

Cheryl said...

Oh my gawd, the person that stole the truck has way bigger problems than felony auto theft.

"There are magazines that cater to interests I didn't even know existed."...that is hysterical.

Your life is way more interesting than mine.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I shake my head at such depravity. Quilting conventions! What next?

wigsf3 said...

I saw that one. It's underrated.

Riot Kitty said...

EC: I wouldn't have believed it if I weren't married to him.
Naomi: I know! Don't you wish you had that much free time?
L: I was, too - after the jaw dropping, of course!
C: Glad to hear it!
Joey: Ha! I'm pretty quiet too, I think I am just surrounded by interesting people.
Cheryl: Yep, you can say that again about the problems! Mind you, if you ever want anyone to hide such a DVD in your car, you know who to call.
Debra: HAHA!
WIGSF: Figured as much ;)

OldLady Of The Hills said...

You asked about NY. I grew up in Great Neck---17 miles from the city, and spent a lot of time in the city starting as a little girl. would take the LIRR in for my Violin lessons, etc.,etc...And spent all my spare time going to The Theatre as a kid and a teenager; went to Drama School there and studied singing there etc., etc. I moved to L.A in 1961 but came back to NYC all the time---Living there in 1963-64 because I was in a Broadway show....I haven't been back there since 2001...And I cannot travel anymore, so NYC is off limits, I'm sorry to say...I miss going to the Theatre there, but I stay in touch with everything going on there and still have many many good and old friends there....
Now....tell me about you and New York, my dear.

DWei said...

Until you find a video of African American aumputee handjob and hardware pornography I am not impressed.

(In all seriousness, that thing exists somewhere but I've only seen a still image).

A Beer For The Shower said...

I think I posted about it before, but I was cleaning out old stuff from the closet and found a DVD simply called "In the Goo." I had no idea what that meant so I popped it in, and... it was 80s hardcore gay porn. This used to be my brother-in-law's house, and, yeah, it seems he forgot that when he moved. Meanwhile, I had no idea a big fat hairy man could be so flexible...

Charles Gramlich said...

My only response is "urp."

G. B. Miller said...

I'm sorry, but I can't get over that DVD without thinking of the show "Pit Boss".

Arrrghhhh....make it stop!

Riot Kitty said...

Naomi: I went to NYU and lived in the Village. That's about it! ;)
ABFTS: Believe me, I'd have remembered if you had posted about that previously...this is pre-leather bears? 80s - hair bears + leather bears?
CG: Ha!
GB: Unfamiliar with that.

Birdie said...

This is so funny! I want the DVD to put in my brother's truck. I would ask for you to send it but I am pretty sure sending it across the border would be a felony.

G. B. Miller said...

"Pit Boss" is a show on Animal Planet that features a little person named Shorty Rossi that rescues pit bulls and is a talent agency for little people. His staff is also comprised of little people as well.

Wiwille said...

Damn it I had to look it up. This is not the stellar cinema you are looking for.

Riot Kitty said...

Birdie: Perhaps you can get it on Amazon.
GB: Oh man, now I feel responsible for trauma!
WW: I am shattered.

Darth Weasel said...

Wait, suddenly you and Mr Riot kitty are declaring innocence? Isn't that the title of the movie you told me you made?


truly laugh out loud hysterical

Riot Kitty said...

HAHA! You caught us ;)