Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Cats vs. humans

Watching Vasil and Mandrake, we've figured out the Rules of Cat:

1. If you get irritated, WHAP! SMACK! BOOM! MEOW! Then, no hard feelings.

2. Eat when you are hungry. Get someone else to serve it for you, as well as clean up the dishes.

3. Sleep when you are tired.

4. Cuddle when you need cuddling.

5. Keep yourself immaculately clean, but leave the rest of the cleaning to others.

6. If you see a soft blanket or sweater, take it. The owner will understand. Finders, keepers. (Note: this rule does not apply, in reverse, to humans.)

7. You're never too old or too tired to enjoy a fun toy.

8. Assume you will be forgiven for having the occasional crazies.

9. When you need anything, make some noise!

10. When in doubt, play on your cuteness. Then you can get away with just about anything.

I think they have figured out a much better system than ours.

24 comments:

Kathleen said...

Don't I know it...I am constantly envious of my katten...as he sits staring at me with big Puss 'n' Boots eyes because his food dish is only half full.

DWei said...

I really want to steal the nap one. I'd sleep all the time...

Rock Chef said...

Yep, that is the cat way of life!

Elephant's Child said...

In my next life I plan on being a cat. I would like to be one of ours - seriously indulged always - but realise that has some difficulties attached.

Lynn said...

This makes me miss having a cat! All true, that.

Birdie said...

I have heard the saying, "It's a dog's life" but I would much rather be a house cat.

Granny Annie said...

Cats know something and they aren't telling.

wigsf3 said...

Wow. You make cats sound like an abusive boorish guy whose married to a woman with no self-esteem who just takes the abuse in silence.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Oh yeah, it's true. Cats have learned how to play us like a cheap violin.

Cheryl said...

I love your list. I think cats are absolutely genius...and devious with a very dry sense of humor. My 2 cats love to get between me and anything I read. If I want to read a newspaper they want to stand on it. If I hold a book, there is a little face peeking over it from the back. I haven't quite figured out there aversion to my reading but I am sure they have thought this out and have a plan.

A Beer For The Shower said...

My favorite part about cats is probably #1. Cats are like drunken Irish brothers. One moment they're mad at each other and swinging fists. The next moment they're hugging and happy as ever. I don't think cats hold a grudge nearly as much as people think they do... at least with those they like.

Darth Weasel said...

Also true of dogs. Sleep, eat, poop, play, receive affection for doing what you want to do. How did I miss out on that gravy train?

Charles Gramlich said...

as I get older and tireder I need my fun toys more.

LL Cool Joe said...

Oh yeah, cats have it sussed, that's for sure!

OldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL......So True!!!
They have it all figured out and they always have.....! Sometimes being a Cat sounds better than anything....! I mean, it's a good life, isn't it?

G. B. Miller said...

Yeah, that about sums up my cat, although sometimes she won't wait for my wife to get up before laying claim to her side of the bed.

Lee said...

How could I not pop in and say "G'Day" after seeing the rampant kitty when I was commenting on Lyn's blog?

Love your blog...thanks for the smiles. I love it!

I think you're right in those cat rules - my two furry, four-legged rascals have certainly read and studied them!

Riot Kitty said...

Well, I have thought about wanting to come back as one of our cats, except the diet and the celibacy are a bit much.

Claire said...

Number 3 = my life goal.

Ileana said...

I can live by these rules. LOVE them! I've always envied my cats' lives.

Dexter Klemperer said...

Great list. I've decided I'm going to live my life by those rules as well. Expect to see me in divorce court very soon.

Wiwille said...

Note to self: Be cute and play upon it. That's an important life lesson.

J Keith said...

I learn a lot from my cat. I have yet to master the skill of being able to sleep for 22 hours a day, have people serve me food whenever I am hungry without paying them to do so and look cool covered in fur but it's on my list

Betty Manousos said...

that's cat's life!

and i love it!:)

big hugs~