Mr. RK: "I need to get a new pair of jeans at some point. It doesn't have to be right away."
Me (knowing it would take wild horses to coax Mr. RK into shopping for anything other than surplus gadgets): "Why?"
Mr. RK: "I ripped a hole in the crotch bowling yesterday."
Me: "Then you need to get some new ones NOW."
Mr. RK: "I thought I could save them for Halloween. You know, go as a naked man in pants."