Monday, April 09, 2012

You know you live in (or near) Portland when...

...you see the following headline, and you're reading your local paper, and not The Onion:

Vegan strip club and its Southeast Portland neighbors are asked by the OLCC to work out their differences

OLCC = Oregon Liquor Control Commission.

Now, mind you, regardless of how you feel about strip clubs, this story fails, in my opinion, to address the question that we all really want to know the answer to: what, exactly, is a vegan strip club? Are the strippers vegan? Or are they serving vegan food?

I imagine their business slogan will be along the lines of, "Here, only the women are treated like meat!"


Or, perhaps, "We may be misogynists, but at least we're vegan!"

Alternately, "Girls and broccoli!" Because I have driven by more than one strip club that advertises "Girls and Steaks!"

Mr. RK wants to know: does T&A now stand for tofu and asparagus?

Inquiring minds want to know.

20 comments:

Granny Annie said...

You know that I believe you and Mr. R.K. need to take you comedy routine on the road. Your responses to thE vegan strippers are HYSTERICAL!!!

Lynn said...

I was groggy, but now I'm awake from laughing. :) You and Mr. RK are so funny. A vegan strip club - y'all should go there and see what that's about. :)

The lol cat was perfect. Hehe.

Workingdan said...

I'm a meat eater myself and I think strip clubs are a waste of money...and a wasted boner!

So what kind of neighbors does this club have?

Dr. Cynicism said...

Sooo many jokes swimming around in my head, yet there's just too many to formulate the perfect one... I give up.

Green Tea said...

You are so funny, you should really consider writing a book..:)

NellieVaughn said...

Bwahaha, I've never been to strip club, but I have seen advertisements for them. They usually have Taco Tuesdays, and...wait...Ohhh, that's why. Perverts!

Anil P said...

That's an intriguing combination. The LOL cat was on the mark :-)

Scarlet said...

LOL - Your reactions are classic! Love you two!!

Tofu and asparagus...love that!

LL Cool Joe said...

Ha ha, I needed a laugh. So when are you going?

That picture is a classic.

Darth Weasel said...

Ah, Portland. Home of the leftist misogynist nudists from who knows where.

Check out the c-list activities posting; they keep advertising "family nude swims" because who DOESN'T think it is a great idea to have mixed naked wet bodies with leering adults and prepubescent kids?

Oh, wait, that's right...people with functioning brain cells.

Riot Kitty said...

Oh by the way - one of my volunteers at work heard about this and said, "Are they trying to cater to vegan men?" Good question!

GA: Thanks!
L: I'm wondering what it's about now, that's for sure.
Dan: Actually, the proposed club is a couple of blocks from another strip club. Which apparently serves both kinds of meat.
DC: Oh, come on, give it a shot!
GT: This was totally free material! It really is happening here!
NV: Taco Tuesday at a strip club? Seriously?
Anil: Yes, I thought the lolcat was perfect.
S: Thanks chica! Mr. RK thinks of stuff like that all the time.
Joey: You know, I am super curious now, that's for sure.
Darth: I had to go back and re-read this because I thought I must have been mistaken. Are you fucking kidding me? Why aren't these posts being flagged and these people being arrested? That is sick shit.

Marnie said...

Oh Riot this is so funny. That article does leave a lot to ones imagination! Thanks for the laugh!

Catherine, ex oh mwah! said...

Oh dear, you never fail to make me laugh. Humans are fucking weird creatures. I DARE you to go in there one day and check it out!
Ps, you know that thing i said i had for you? its on my blog now. i think you'll find it pleasantly amusing :)

Catherine, ex oh mwah! said...

well actually, it'll be up in a few hours.

Riot Kitty said...

M: You're welcome! My (gay) friend came up with this: "The meat's on the pole, not on the plate."
C: Let me know ;)

G. B. Miller said...

Vegan strip club?

Is that where both the customers and the vegetables are stripped down to the bare essentials?

Riot Kitty said...

G: Bwahaha! Perfect!

A Beer for the Shower said...

There's a really terrible fish joke here, but I'm not going to touch it.

Claire said...

Good Lord, girl, you make me laugh!

Riot Kitty said...

ABFTS: And you are still my blog buddy because you DID NOT post it.
Claire: This was pretty easy material!