Sunday, December 18, 2011


I'm stealing a Christmas meme from WIGSF. The lovely Claire also posted one, but this one is shorter and there are more opportunities for snark...

  1. What do you really want for Christmas but you know nobody will get it for you?
    World peace
  2. What do you not want for Christmas but you know that somebody will get it for you?
    A religious card
  3. When do you open your gifts (Christmas Eve or Christmas morning)?
  4. Do you prefer gifts wrapped or in gift bags?
    I don't like wrapping paper - it seems environmentally unfriendly. However, Mr. RK usually does all kinds of obnoxious things when wrapping presents, presumably to ensure that the recipient doesn't open it easily. In past years, his family tells me this has included glue, sewing, etc.
  5. Did you re-gift anything this year?
    No. When I re-gift, I say it's a re-gift and it's an extra.
  6. What’s your favourite Christmas movie
    A Charlie Brown Christmas
  7. What’s your favourite Christmas TV special?
    How the Grinch Stole Christmas
  8. Do you like eggnog?
    In a word: yuck. (That means no.)
  9. Real tree or fake tree, which do you prefer?
    Neither, because my cats like to eat them both. Ask me about one year's 24-hour-emergency vet bill when the Fluffy White Fuck was alive.
  10. Would you actually use one of those fireplace DVDs if you don’t have a fireplace?
    What is a fireplace DVD? Inquiring minds want to know!
  11. Are you sick of Christmas music yet?
    See earlier post. In two words: fuck yes! I was sick of it before it started. Why? Same 12 songs every year, and most of them are annoying.
  12. Are you getting up early to wait in line to do some Boxing Day shopping (Canada’s equivalent to Black Friday)
    No, because I don't live in Canada. Also I hate shopping.
  13. When was the last time you sat on Santa’s lap?
    I have actually never sat on Santa's lap. My parents told us growing up that Santa was not real*, so why would I want to sit on the lap of some stranger in a funny red suit? We were, of course, sworn to secrecy, but guess who went to school and told all of her kindergarten friends that Santa was a fake?

*Ditto for the Easter Bunny. But I was allowed to believe in the tooth fairy until the fourth grade! Go figure. 


LL Cool Joe said...

I have no idea what a fireplace DVD is either!

Lynn said...

Good answers. :) And was that really your cat's name?

Anonymous said...

A fireplace DVD is a DVD that shows a fireplace, lit, possibly some classical music in the background.

A Beer for the Shower said...

So, you're telling me that the religious card I mailed you, that contains 2 pages of scripture and my own personal blessing, is not wanted?

Green Tea said...

I'm glad I read this before i did my cards :) Now I have to do some special shopping for yours :0
I haven been a very good has just been too hectic..I want to bitch about Christmas,and some people..
but I can't because of some who read my blog secretly :)

John McElveen said...

You never fail to make me laff! Now come on over and sit on Santa's lap- Mustang Sally!


Scarlet said...

I totally got ripped off. There was no tooth fairy visiting my house (guess no one lost any teeth for money in Cuba)...or Easter Bunny...and I could never figure out how Santa went from riding a surfboard delivering presents to riding a sleigh. When did THAT happen?? My 5-yr. old mind wanted to know.

Please share some Fluffy White Fuck stories. I don't think I've heard of this kitty. :)

Love how Mr. RK uses glue and sews shit together for Christmas. lol That's hilarious!

G said...

Can't forget the "A Christmas Story" marathon that is showed every year on TNT.

Can you believe that I'm running out of snark?

Me thinks I have to go re-load and come back.

Riot Kitty said...

Joey: WIGSF has cleared it up for us.
Lynn: His real name was Vladimir (not named by me) - my brother named him and then saddled me with him for way too many years.
WIGSF: That is freaking hilarious. Seriously?
ABFTS: I'd love any kind of card from you guys, because I know it would make me laugh my ass off, religious or not!
GT: Haha! That is why you create an anonymous blog...or send me your stories.
John: So glad! Haha!
S: Riding a surfboard? Where did that come from? A Cubano version perhaps? I'll write about the FWF someday ;)
G: Reload, reload! There is always more snark, maybe you just need a little inspiration. Come meet my family.

Anonymous said...

There's even a cable channel now that broadcasts that all year round.
And a channel that looks like a cottage sunset and a channel that looks like an aquarium full of tropical fish and even a rotisserie chicken channel.
I swear to God. Somebody Youtube'ed it.

Riot Kitty said...

Rotisserie chicken?! Is that a channel for cats?

Workingdan said...

I only like eggnog when it contains alcohol!

And I can't stand the fact that the Christmas music starts full-force on Halloween!

Claire said...

Dude, I must make you a Christmas mix...of unusual songs, of course!


Logical Libby said...

My husband used to wrap gifts in aluminum foil. Obnoxious, possibly injurous, yet easily recycled.

Riot Kitty said...

WD: Seriously. I saw Christmas stuff at Hallmark in October this year.
C: I'll take it!
L: Really? You're least it is easily recycled.