Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Ants in your pants? How about caffeine?

You know that we have become the laziest, dumbest society ever when something like this is invented.


Mr. RK first told me about caffeinated pants last night. Yes, you read that right: caffeine in your pants, claims at least one company, will make you lose weight. Forget about eating healthier, eating less, and exercising; you can supposedly get slimmer by the equivalent of wearing a cup of coffee on your bottom. And sadly, this means market research preceding the production of said pants means that statistically, there are a hell of a lot of dumb people out there.

"Even if my head is asleep, my ass is awake!" said Mr. RK. Because the caffeinated pants are exercise pants, so the coffee is on your ass.

And legs. And crotch region. Come to think of it, there could be people that would purchase this product for perverted reasons. So if you'll excuse me...

17 comments:

LL Cool Joe said...

It would take more than a pair of leggings soaked in coffee to make my arse smaller. :D

Lynn said...

If I thought that would work I'd try it!

G said...

A whole bunch of random naughtiness just raced through my head. :D

Workingdan said...

My ass is active enough as it is...the last thing I need is for it to be all hopped up on caffeine!

wigsf3 said...

Other products I'd like to see caffeinated:

- diapers
- sleeping pills
- doughnuts
- floppy disks
- vaginal lube
- athletic support cups
- car air fresheners
- TV remote controls
- Kevorkian suicide machine

Riot Kitty said...

Joey: Haha!
L: Seriously?
G: You want to share with the rest of the class? ;)
WD: Excellent!
WIGSF: Condoms?

My 2 Pesos said...

Oh, humanity...

Granny Annie said...

What if we drink the coffee then pee our pants...would that work the same as the caffeine pants?

A Beer for the Shower said...

Does this in any way stimulate the mysterious "coffee makes me have to poop" phenomenon?

Riot Kitty said...

M2P: Seriously!
GA: Hahaha! Would you be willing to be our test subject?
ABFTS: I should have expected a reply like that from you. I'm still recovering from Santa's stocking escapade.

Shionge said...

Gosh...this is the first time I get to know about this..I love my coffee so much that I'll never support this pant.

Merry Christmas MR & MRS> RK ;D

Riot Kitty said...

S: Good point! And Merry Christmas to you.

Dr. Cynicism said...

Up next: caffeine sports cup.

lgsquirrel said...

I am convinced. Where can I get one?

Riot Kitty said...

DC: I can see it now.
LGS: Haha! Google them.

LL Cool Joe said...

Have a wonderful Christmas RK!!!

Riot Kitty said...

Joey: You too!