Friday, July 15, 2011

Freaky Friday

I've had a bit of blogger's block (that's writer's block, but only when it comes to blogging) and then I realized that some really weird shit has happened this week.

So guess what the topic of today's post is?

Some of the freaky things that happened:

1. Mr. RK came home with a box full of shark's teeth that a coworker found in a rural area about 20 miles from here, that used to be underwater. She literally just came up to him and said, "Here, have these."

2. I have less fingernail material than I did at this time yesterday. This was unintentional but totally my fault. Tip for the uninitiated: DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, TRY TO REMOVE YOUR SHELLAC MANICURE AT HOME.

3. One day after several days of vacation, I get sick enough to miss work.

4. The day after that (today), I find out my review is coming up. Someone has a sick sense of humor.

5. One of my colleagues got bitten by a dog - the same dog - twice in two days. It's an "emotional support animal" that one of her employees insists on bringing to work. And even after it bit my friend, the employee didn't see why there was a problem with her bringing it to work. Hence the second bite. The dog is now banned, but the employee does not understand why. I am not making this up.

Mr. RK suggested that she bite the dog. She said she is thinking about it.

I'd be more tempted to bite the owner.

6. And this one is just embarrassing - remember how, when I had lunch with someone a couple of weeks ago, I thought he said, "I got laid last night?" when he said he was doing Jenny Craig and got weighed last night? We met for dinner and I asked him, joking, "So! Did you get laid last night?"

Guess who forgot the lunch episode and didn't get the joke?

Any strange stuff happening in your neck of the woods?


middle child said...

Nope! I think you 'bout covered it all.

G said...

I'm sorry, but that person with the dog needs a drive-by bitch slap, South Park style.

If your dog bit the same person twice, that means its not tolerant of people.

That also means that it needs to be retrained because that is unacceptable behavior for a service dog.

Strange stuff?

Local newspaper announces that we're having 6K layoffs.

Reality check is 4400 with the rest being PAPER CUTS (that is, eliminating any and all vacant positions).


They often get in the way of hysterical and overwrought headlines.

Anonymous said...

I was going to make a joke about a box of shark's teeth being a voodoo curse but instead I'm going to be serious about the "emotional support animal."
Is that the politically correct term for seeing eye dog or is it just a regular dog that happens to be owned by an emotional cripple? The sort of person who has a co-dependent relationship with a dog.

LL Cool Joe said...

I'd have the dog put down. Mind you I don't like dogs.

Number 6 was embarrassing the first time around, so it must have been really embarrassing this time. D

Riot Kitty said...

G: Yeah, I thought so, too. News outlets get so much stuff wrong, unfortunately, it doesn't surprise me.
WIGSF: Nope, not a service animal - an "emotional support animal," whatever the fuck that means. And yes, I think she does have a codependent relationship with it.
Joey: I don't love them but I can't kill them. #6...ooh baby, was that embarrassing! He thought it was hilarious.

Granny Annie said...

If only you had consulted me I would have told you never to bring up the "got laid" incident again.

ileana said...

I love how he forgot the lunch incident and didn't get the joke...makes it even funnier! :)

Riot Kitty said...

GA: Haha! I'll consult you next time.
Ileana: For everyone but me, yes ;)

Senorita said...

Wow, talk about Random.....

I've had a lot of random fucking shit happen to me lately.

I live across the street from a porn shop and while I was walking home, some guy was standing behind the bushes of said porn shop across the street and looking at my direction with binoculars. When he saw me I kept walking and his eyes followed me with those binoculars and displayed a pervy smile.

What else......... oh yeah, I accidentally sharted in Paris when I was there last year. "I shat my pants in France" not only rhymes, but it really happened to me.

Lynn said...

No - we are having a run of strangely nice weather. I did sit out on my back porch with some music floating out on Friday night and my neighbors, who blast hip hop music all the time, seemed flummoxed as to where that music could be coming from (and it was nice french folk music.) :)

I like the idea of biting the dog back. And that nail thing sounds painful!!!

Darth Weasel said...

honestly, you have been blogging nearly as long as I have...and that after your career as journalist and ace writer of BJP (who needs a return engagement, by the way)...I am going to argue you are justified in writers block.

At some point we all have to slow down.

Riot Kitty said...

S: OMG! I don't want to know what is behind the pervy smile.
L: If I were you, I'd blast classical all the time.
Darth: I'll slow down when I'm dead ;)

Anonymous said...

Sounds like the dog needs to go to a "better place".

Riot Kitty said...

PM: And maybe the owner!