Saturday, May 28, 2011

Things I have learned this week, version 2.0

1. Never get a temporary tattoo.

2. If you do get a temporary tattoo, do not try to scrub it off with the same thing you use to clean dishes. Unless you want to take a layer of skin off of your hand.

3. Be glad you did not get said temporary tattoo on your face.

4. If the weather is warm enough for you to wear a skirt, expect a lot of attention from the guy in the drive-through window when you get a smoothie.

5. If you have a new volunteer begin, don't expect them to stop talking.

6. When referring to #5, don't expect to get any work done, either.

7. My cat is addicted to cake doughnuts. They're like his crack. Note to self: never bring doughnuts home again, if I want any for myself.

8. The weather is psychic. Whenever I go for a walk, it will start pouring the minute I am out the door.

9. Number 8 also applies to the only time I go without a raincoat.

10. If your partner dislocates his rib, and then sneezes, it will pop back into place. So buy pepper just in case.

Really...I'm not making these up!


LL Cool Joe said...

So how short was this skirt then? ;)

Knowing me, I'd sneeze and crack a rib.

Darth Weasel said...

#11 is my favorite

Ally said...

my cat won't eat anything but cat food or little tiny crumbs. too bad you didn't post a pic of the temporary tat.

Granny Annie said...

Were you on your way outside when it started to rain so you ran back in the house and bumped into Mr. RK, thus dislocating his rib? And just where did you apply this temporary tattoo?

G said...

Addendum to number 8:

I listen to weekly rock show here in Connecticut that broadcasts on Wednesdays.

For the past three months or so, every time his show came on, it was raining.

It could be fantastic weather during the rest of the week, but on Wednesdays, it would rain.

BTW, was that dress one of those nice floral prints that brings the male sex to thier knees drooling and gibbering like a schoolboy?

Riot Kitty said...

Joey: Not short at all, actually!
Darth: ;)
Ally: I can post a pic of my scraped up hand!
GA: LOL! No...and it was on the back of my hand.
G: Excellent! And it was just a plain skirt. The guy was definitely drooling though. Luckily not into my smoothie.

Senorita said...

Oooh, did you get a temporary tramp stamp ?

I look back at my volunteer days, and I think I was a bit talkative, maybe even a little bit annoying.
I feel your pain.....

Logical Libby said...

How in the hell did your cat get a donut?

Riot Kitty said...

S: At our event, yes ;)
L: He stalked me, threatened me, and demanded it.

HiFi said...

#8 is so true. The weather is psychic lol.

Green Tea said...

Rain I can handle, but these constant storm warnings that keep interrupting a TV show, drive me nuts.
Sometimes I think the weather man likes to hear himself talk.

Riot Kitty said...

HF: I swear it IS true, and not in a good way!
GT: He definitely does. They all do!

Lynn said...

My cat Sophie used to COVET any sort of sweet baked goods - how does this happen?

Anonymous said...

In relation to #7, one of my cats just started getting into a baguette that I picked up from a local bakery. I offered him a bit of wine and cheese to go along with it, but he reminded me about his lactose intolerance.

A Beer for the Shower said...

Sounds like you made that smoothie guy's day.

John McElveen said...

Ha Haaaaaaaaaaaa! Love them all--- Did your Cat get a Smoothie donut in his crack?

What's up with that?


Lemons Don't Make Lemonade said...


I got a temporary tattoo of a flag on my face when I was six. :O

What? I was patriotic. :D

And yes, I wrote those captions and found those pictures. :D

ileana said...

Ooh, #10 sounds dangerous...and yes, those temporary tattoos are a bitch to take off! They can almost be considered semi permanent.

Woo-hoo...the smoothie guy likes you! :)

Riot Kitty said...

ABFFS: Apparently. Simple minds, simple pleasures.
LDML: Excellent!
I: Yeah, they should have come with some warning instructions! So why didn't I get a free smoothie? :)

Elliot MacLeod-Michael said...

you have enriched me ten times over this day. off to dislocate a rib now.

Sandra said...

I love that your cat loves donuts. Just tell him next time it's his turn to pay!

Riot Kitty said...

E: Heh! Thanks for stopping by.
S: Good idea!

Cake Betch said...

I put one of those temporary stickers on my face once for a football game. Boy did I regret that.

Mr. Riot Kitty said...

CB: Ouch! I bet. What kind?

Riot Kitty said...

Oops, that was supposed to be a reply/question to CB from me. Mr. RK forgot to log out!

Anil P said...

8 and 9 - Murphy's Law!