Saturday, May 28, 2011
Things I have learned this week, version 2.0
1. Never get a temporary tattoo.
2. If you do get a temporary tattoo, do not try to scrub it off with the same thing you use to clean dishes. Unless you want to take a layer of skin off of your hand.
3. Be glad you did not get said temporary tattoo on your face.
4. If the weather is warm enough for you to wear a skirt, expect a lot of attention from the guy in the drive-through window when you get a smoothie.
5. If you have a new volunteer begin, don't expect them to stop talking.
6. When referring to #5, don't expect to get any work done, either.
7. My cat is addicted to cake doughnuts. They're like his crack. Note to self: never bring doughnuts home again, if I want any for myself.
8. The weather is psychic. Whenever I go for a walk, it will start pouring the minute I am out the door.
9. Number 8 also applies to the only time I go without a raincoat.
10. If your partner dislocates his rib, and then sneezes, it will pop back into place. So buy pepper just in case.
Really...I'm not making these up!