Thursday, May 05, 2011


Years ago, Saturday Night Live had a skit called "The Planet of Honest People." The setting: a board room. Someone announces that someone else got a promotion. The co-workers chip in: "I wanted that job!" "I hope you do really badly!" I think it was Kevin Nealon that asked a co-worker on a date after the meeting. She replied, "Actually, I'm just after cheap sex."

I remembered this skit tonight as I was leaving a meeting where I had been invited to present. I was promised would "be quick." I figured it would take about 20 minutes. It took over an hour.

Things I have learned this week:

People who say, "I'm so sorry to bother you," really aren't.

Ditto about people who bombard you with questions and say, "I hate to keep you..." They really don't.

I'd much rather live on the Planet of Honest People and have someone be honest and say, "I'm going to totally waste your time." And "I know you want to leave, but I don't give a flying fuck."

Wouldn't you?

Wouldn't that be great?

And no, the lolcat has nothing to do with this post, I just liked it.


middle child said...

Welcome! For the longest time, I was the only inhabitant on the Planet of Honest People. They aren't many of us though we do-on occasion-have visitors. Most can't stay long. Hope you can!

Gorilla Bananas said...

Hmm. How about someone telling you your ass looked big? I'm not saying it is big, but you get the idea.

Lynn said...

Sometimes I'd rather people be honest rather than passive-agressive. :) I have a friend who prefaces every remark about mutual friends, "I LOVE her/him, but she's/he's such a ____." She does that every time, so I asked her last time what she says about me. She laughed and said that she says I'm a "ditz." Well - how about that? I asked. :)

G said...

The Planet of Honest Peoples imploded the second it touched the outer atmosphere of the galaxy called "The Guv'ment".

The lone survivor finds the galaxy inhospitable, paranoid, self righteous and two-faced.


Lemons Don't Make Lemonade said...

Honesty isn't always the best policy, sadly. But sometimes I DO wonder about that too. Would it be a lot more different if you could just talk straight, even if it was offensive?

Well, all social norms will come crashing down. :D

PeaceLoveandSharpies said...

1) The LOLcat made my day.
2) Add "how are you" to that list. I'm 103% sure the cashier at Target isn't actually interested in knowing how I'm doing...

Riot Kitty said...

MC: LOL! Hope so.
GB: Depends if that comment was coming from a gorilla, or a human ;)
L: Passive-aggressive is the personality I have the hardest time with. You are anything but a ditz, and your "friend" sounds like a mean person.
LDML: I hate social norms.
PLAS: Excellent! Yeah, for a giggle, I actually answered a grocery store checker one time and said, "It's really been terrible." And he nodded and said, "Oh, good."

Sandra said...

I sooo agree! I much prefer the honest approach in every situation. Makes a lot of people uncomfortable, but here's what I think: "I don't give a fuck!"

Senorita said...

Yeah, you are right. When I need to talk to someone and I know they are in a hurry, I appologize for disturbing them to seem polite, but the truth is, I don't give a flying fuck.

Oh wells, what are ya gonna do ?

Marnie said...

As Lynn stated, I prefer honesty over passive-agressive. It's the passive-agressive ones you have to watch out for. Years ago, I worked for a guy who was blunt...brutal. Oddly enough, I didn't mind it one bit as he never played head games and I always knew where I stood. Great post. xo

Darth Weasel said...

You should see the movie "The Invention of Lying". Not a very good movie, but it has that as its premise.

He is bombarded with "You are probably going to get fired today" and "I hate working for you" and "I am better looking than you, more successful than you..." type things...and everyone knows they are true because they are said. Great premise, bad execution, but might still be worth seeing.

Every so often I am honest when people ask, "How are you". Always catches them off guard which, uin turn, I find funny and cheers me up

A Beer for the Shower said...

An hour? That's lucky. When I was working, we'd have meetings that would last 4-5 hours. People would get so bitchy and aggravated, but no one could express their anger for fear of displeasing the higher ups. Instead, they would just give each other passive aggressive, snappy comments, ie bite each other's heads off. I certainly couldn't blame them, when they're staying 2-3 hours past when they were scheduled to go home to their families. Me included.

Bring on the land of honest people. Seriously.

Riot Kitty said...

Sandra: My thoughts exactly.
Marnie: There's got to be a happy medium somewhere.
Darth: Excellent!
ABFTS: That is SO rude. When I lead meetings they are an hour, max, period. I've even had people ask why we can't go longer. My reply: "You can stay as long as you like, but I'm leaving."

Granny Annie said...

Before I was made president of our neighborhood association the meetings would go on for hours because of all the "personal agenda" questions from people who loved the sound of their own voice. At our first meeting after I was elected president I announced that the meetings would begin promptly at 5:00 pm and end precisely at 7:00 pm and to be sure and have their questions ready during the Q&A time. They were absolutely shocked when I closed the meeting at 7 and picked up my stuff to leave. Eventually they got with the program and were ready to yield the floor to others or table their concerns for the next meeting. Nevertheless they hated me as Pres and I didn't bother to run for a second term. I left the association altogether when they happily returned to meetings of several hours. Ridiculous people with too much time on their hands!

Claire said...


Love it - that may make it onto the wallk of awesome in my class.


Green Tea said...

Honesty sounds good, but when a friend asked my honest opinion once and I gave it to her..she was pissed for a long time..


Riot Kitty said...

GA: Seriously! What a bunch of jerks.
C: I would love it!
GT: Now I'm curious, opinion about what?

Logical Libby said...

I find myself living on the planet of the honest people far too often. It makes me wish for the planet of the mute people.

ileana said...

Love this post! I don't remember those skits, so I'll have to look for them on YouTube...unless you have a link. Please e-mail them to me if you do.

Like you,I prefer honesty, but oftentimes silence is even better! :)

Riot Kitty said...

Libby: That would be even better!
Ileana: I'll look for one, because it's hilarious!

John McElveen said...

Did you just fart?



My bad--that was me. I forgot we were on Planet Honest now.

Riot Kitty said...

John: That was actually part of the skit! Look it up on Youtube.

John McElveen said...

Are you serious? Cool--I'll check it out!