Friday, May 20, 2011

I hope my family doesn't read this


So before every event I do for work, I spend several days secretly worrying that something is going to blow things up. You know, alien and zombie invasions...or, worse, the port-a-potty people will forget to show up.

Coincidentally - or not - I've been having some really weird dreams. OK, really weird sex dreams, specifically. It's like my brain is playing tricks on me, because this happens when I get really stressed out.

I had one particularly graphic one about a college guy who works at his family's restaurant - and I had the dream the night before I had dinner plans there.

I told my friend on the drive over and she burst into giggles. We get there and - of course - he's our waiter. And he's super chatty. And he starts talking about a human sexuality class he's taking.

Seriously? God is up there laughing at me, I can tell.

At this point I want to slither under the table and just die (I couldn't even look him in the eye when I ordered food), and my friend is cracking up.

So as we drive away she says, "I wouldn't mind having a graphic dream about him!"

I tell the story to a mutual friend, and she says, "I wouldn't either!"

So now I can never go there again.

Or I can, but I'll have to wear a bag over my head and ask his mom to wait on us instead.

Anyhow, question - has anyone heard of the acronym F/U standing for anything but, well, FU?

I got an e-mail from one of our event volunteers today and it said, "F/U today, so everything's taken care of."

It took me a minute to realize she meant "followed up."

Then another volunteer wrote about donations and said, "I think I'm tapped out...unless I get some I don't expect."

Yep, it's all about sex. I hope my family doesn't read this.

16 comments:

LL Cool Joe said...

So did you write back "Well F/U too."

I wish I had a few more sex dreams......I'm going back to bed now........

G said...

Hmmmm......

pulls out a doctor's couch, a notebook and a chair

Tell me young lady, when did you start having all these dreams of sex? Do you have a secret need to be a goddess of the night?

You can tell me, because I am a doctor and chances it won't become fodder for a story.

hehehehehe.

Granny Annie said...

I look forward to an FU of this post:)

Actually my name is Carla said...

Granny Annie took the words right out of my mouth. :) Funny.

Eeshie said...

This was laughably ironic.

:P

HiFi said...

Haha. This was a funny story. :)

Riot Kitty said...

Joey: Did it work? :)
G: Happy to give you fodder for a story!
GA: Excellent! I will definitely F/U! ;)
Newbies: Thanks for stopping by! Glad to make you laugh!

ileana said...

FU without the slash is definitely not "followed up." lol

I love this post...and I wish you would've taken a photo of that "sexy" waiter. ;)

Cake Betch said...

Hahahaha no I think she totally made that up so she could tell you to fuck off.

And sex dreams are a sign that you need to get a little relief! You should maybe share them with the college kid and perhaps he'll make them a reality :-D

Riot Kitty said...

Ily: It *did* have the slash - I saw her at the event yesterday and we laughed our butts off.
CB: It's possible ;) She is a therapist, btw! As for the college kid...I went into the restaurant w/Mr. RK last night, and he hardly spoke to us! He and my friend can go start a reality show...

Logical Libby said...

I've only had one sex dream about someone not my husband. And it was the sweatiest guy in the office.

I almost had to quit.

A Beer for the Shower said...

And I thought the sex dreams about my warty post office employee were awkward...

Riot Kitty said...

L and ABFTS: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Gorilla Bananas said...

You mean you didn't tell him about the dream you had? Missed opportunity.

John McElveen said...

My Post didn't post--or comment or Whatever--- F/U please!


We are staring a club right"

John

Riot Kitty said...

GB: LOL!
JM: Will do on F/U!