I'm sorry to say that event season can be idiot season. Or as a friend says, "I'm afraid I think that every season is idiot season!"
*A ninja edit for those who feel they need to correct my language. If you can't handle the word fuck, don't visit this blog. I don't appreciate lectures. I'm going through a divorce and have a loved one with terminal cancer, and I am entitled to say fuck, thank you very much!*
Case in point. Sunday, I get an email from someone that has our 5,000 person event name in the subject line and he says, "Hey, RK! I'll be there. Let me know any details I need to know."
I thought, since he got my email address from the event website itself, that no one could possibly send an email so moronic...so I asked if he was the one from his organization hosting their table.
"No, I just plan to show up. What do I need to know? See you there? "
Yes. Really. Because there are only, like, 12 of us coming.
Another call. "It says to enter my fundraising goal. What should I put?"
Maybe I should give you 50 cents to call someone who gives a shit?
In addition to being the IT whisperer, I am also expected to be the idiot whisperer.
Then my least favorite person in the organization (and we have about 2,000 members in our state, so that is saying a lot) keeps calling and emailing with questions like, "Can you send me the direct link that shows this information?" (Tip for the uninitiated: he created the link.)
So my words are:
Idiocy
Fuck
Platypus (someone else suggested that while I was typing. Please don't fuck platypus.)
Painful
Crying
Fuckery (this shit deserves two fucks, methinks.)
Have fun.
PS I will visit blogs as soon as the fuckery dies down a bit.
16 comments:
my contribution will be short, a continuation of last week's story and will be at my blog site on Friday 22nd.
http://river-driftingthroughlife.blogspot.com.au
I truly sense your frustration but truly, "Fuck" and "Fuckery" are a bit much don't you think? Still I will join River in doing my best to post on Friday. OMG! That's tomorrow. Fuck!
You asked for it...so here it is!!
"There’s so much FUCKERY IDIOCY going on it’s almost too PAINFUL to bear. It’ll all turn around on everyone and bite them on the arse! FUCK! I’m almost CRYING with the stupidity of it all. And to make matters worse, I was then asked to spell “Ornithorhynchus”, when it would’ve been easier if they’d asked me to spell “PLATYPUS”!"
Do you remember the brief Richard Jeni sitcom Platypus Man? Like many other sitcoms, this one was based on this one guy, who saw himself as a Platypus-like man (in personality, not biology) trying to get fucked. Haven't thought about that in a long while.
I sense all of this dealing with people's idiocy is painful and probably has you crying cussing and caring less than zero. I suggest you just say "Fuck It" However...I am concerned about your state of mind and what all this fuckery is doing to you. The fact you included the word "platypus" tells me you are on the brink.
I know these events are really stressful but this one too shall pass. Probably not soon enough from your vantage point.
Hahahahaha, "Fuckery Department." I think of you often, Riot Kitty, and hope that you are doing well.
Egads? I haven't dealt with anything that bad in a while but finals are coming.
I'll sit this one out. Your choice of words is offending and offer no challenge in writing at all.
Susan, if you can't handle the word fuck, don't visit this blog. I'm not here to please you or anyone else.
I am just baffled by the creator of the link that can't seem to find it.
I will say that since I have entered peri-menopause my life is more than full of idiotic things that I do on a daily basis.
The idea that saying fuck in writing isn't a challenge is idiocy bordering on dumbfuckery, because constructing wordplay that's simultaneously as complex and grotesque and unique as a platypus is much harder than just crying about how painful bad words are.
Love that the word platypus is in there. :) Hope everything eases up soon, my friend.
RK I always find your blog interesting, entertaining and down right cathartic! I'm glad you write what you feel, it is your blog after all! Hugs to you RK, I wish you well!
My job lately is one big sloppy greasy facepalm (as you well know). My deepest and most sincerest condolences for having to put with stupid personified. I think we all need a George Carlin moment and the fact that you put out a disclaimer for the fist time in many, many, many months means that your fuse is about one millimeter in length.
Since you have no problem with the word Fuck, I leave you with a quote from the movie "Lucky Slevin" that could probably be applied to your event in some way:
"You killed the only people I ever loved. Fuck you both."--Josh Hartnett's character to Morgan Freeman and Ben Kingsley.
You need to check this movie out. Best. Revenge. Movie. Ever.
Good thing I can handle the word fuck or my life would be really boring.
What about Fuckadoodle?
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