Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Words for Wednesday: for reals

First off, I'm hoping this time around I'm not getting any more lecturers from prudes. Thanks to all of you who supported me during that fuckery!

This has been a week where I've been presented with situations that cause me to ask, "For real?" (Or more honestly, "Are you fucking kidding me?")

My ex has a sleep study tonight to see how bad his sleep apnea is. He was given a printed list of instructions of what *not* to do during said study, including:
- Taking sleep aids
- Bringing guests (reminder, this study is done in a sleep lab, not your house)
- Masturbate
Which means that enough people have done ALL of these things that it necessitates such an instruction list!

Meanwhile, a friend who is an attorney is banging his head against the wall because a jury is coming out with questions like this: "Was there a dashcam in the undercover cop car that captured the drug sales?"

Yes, really. I reminded him that dumb people can make it onto juries. Given the current mistrust of law enforcement, he said these days everyone wants to act like they're on CSI.

Another interesting tidbit: volunteering last Saturday, I saw a guy who I hadn't seen since my first night volunteering back in September. It was good to see him - he said he usually doesn't come on Saturdays, which is the only night I can get out there - because when you don't see people for awhile, you wonder if something bad has happened to them.

Anyhow, I was wearing a Beatles t-shirt and he said back in 1965, he bought a ticket to see them for $1.50, and decided to skip the concert and go to the beach instead! "And," he said, "I've been regretting it ever since."
I'm thinking about starting another blog with stories like this from the people I meet volunteering. A lot of people don't think about homeless individuals having stories, lives, etc. It helps take some of the stigma away if you chat with a person.

So my words for Wednesday are:
dash cam


River said...

I've spoken to a few homeless people, some have sad stories, some just like to tell their dreams, one was drunk as a skunk and quite merry, he was fun to talk to although I had to keep dodging as he waved his cigarette too close to me. I often wonder what happened to him.

Lee said...

I think your idea is a brilliant idea, many stories out there...

And here's mine for this week...

"Suddenly in early 1964 here in Australia our ears simultaneously were accosted, in a pleasant way, by four mop-haired lads from Liverpool, pleading – “I Want to Hold Your Hand”.

It didn’t matter which one of the mop-tops, who called themselves “The BEATLES”, wanted to hold our hand. Millions of hands throughout the world were willing to be held, particularly the hands of swooning teenage girls. And we didn’t care if they couldn’t spell “beetles” correctly!

STORIES about the cheeky lads from Liverpool quickly filled magazines and newspapers day after day. We couldn’t get enough of them or their music. Stereo systems pumped out their music non-stop.

When I heard The Beatles were planning to do a concert tour of Australia I considered going UNDERCOVER in an effort to get hold of a TICKET. Tickets were as rare as hens’ teeth...and you know how rare they are!

If I’d had a DASH CAM (if they’d been invented at that stage) in 1969 when their “Yellow Submarine” LP was released I would’ve been ahead of the game in finding the album. The LPs raced out the door so quickly I ended giving INSTRUCTIONS and cash to my young neighbour, who was on school holidays at the time, for him to queue up at the local record store from early morning to grab me a copy. I had to be at work and I couldn’t spare the time to do so myself. Because he was doing an important job for me I gave him enough money to enable him to purchase a copy for himself, as well.

River said...

Nice one Lee.
'Beetles' wouldn't have worked of course, there's no "beat' in beetles, and the beat was what the Beatles were all about.

My story will appear at my blog on Friday 29th.

Lynn said...

That would be nice - I'd like to hear stories like that. My older sister saw the Beatles during their US tour that same year at Atlanta Stadium. Someone's parents took she and her friends to see them.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

How dare you give us a word list without a single "fuck" on it!!!!!

Cheryl said...

I, too, noticed the absence of the word fuck in your list this week.

I think you idea for another blog is a great idea. Everyone has a story and it's always interesting to hear them.

Sleep that sucks. Can't imagine there are too many instances a person gets written instructions to avoid masturbation. Probably keeps a few of people from going to the sleep clinic for the test.

Abby said...

I like your idea for another blog of stories. I encounter a number of homeless people on my excursions into the city. Many of them are teens. I learned that most of them were kicked out of the house because they are gay or trans. What the fuckery is that?!

I'll try to rise to your word challenge. But it's so clean this week. Couldn't even include a "masturbation" for us?

Charles Gramlich said...

One particular thing on that list of what not to do is just...crazy.

Jono said...

"Please don't masturbate during your sleep study." "But Doc, that's the only thing that helps me get to sleep."

lotta joy said...

If you can keep different stories rolling along, not only would your readers be interested, you could compile a book and upload it for free to the Kindle store. My sleep study showed I stopped breathing 240 times a night. At first I loved the Cpap machine, but I'm lazy and it requires a LOT of maintenance and cleaning. I figure if I stop breathing in my sleep, that's how I'd like to go.......since I have to anyway. lol

G. B. Miller said...

Worse case scenario is that your ex will have to wear a mask hooked up to a machine while sleeping for the rest of his life.

No interesting stories to mention, other than a former co-worker was taken to Woodstock as a baby.

CraveCute said...

Love visiting you RK I always leave with a smile on my face!

A Beer For The Shower said...

I would certainly love to hear some stories like that. Whether sad or funny or poignant, the homeless definitely do have something to say.

The Beatles went undercover to infiltrate a sleep study with strict instructions stating that they could not masturbate before their test. A mere two minutes in and Ringo starting punchin' the ol' ticket, which set off an alarm, breaking their cover. They jumped out the window and fell a full 2 stories. Dash cam footage captured all waddling away quickly with pants around their broken ankles, but they have since not been found.

klahanie said...

A great idea about you setting up another blog about the people you meet from volunteering. I'm totally for that idea. Having worked with the homeless, the rough sleepers, and you will know there is a difference, I have had the honour of meeting some of the most sincere people in my life. Yes, the convenient stigmas and stereotypes just don't equate to the homeless and the rough sleepers I worked with.

Thank you for a most interesting post, my friend.


Claire said...

I totally agree with you - chatting is such a great way to learn a little more and to reveal the person you're working with.

LL Cool Joe said...

It's hard to imagine anyone wanting to masturbate in a lab, or bring a guest for that matter, especially to aid sleep. ;D

I'm always amazed at the stories people have to tell about their lives. Fascinating.

Rock Chef said...

Yep, homeless people have stories too.

I have a friend who works with homeless people and a few of the people she deals with have come from very high-flying pasts - actors who have been on TV and on stage in the West End!

Yep, they are people too.

Lee said...

I hope all is well with you, RK. Look forward to "seeing" you again soon...take good care...and keep smiling. :)