Tuesday, May 05, 2015

Sh*t I don't understand

Tell me if you do. Once again, I would not, could not make this stuff up.

- Driving down the street with sloppy, handwritten signs decrying a political party and saying "the worst cities and states" are run by them. What exactly is the driver hoping for? That passing vehicles will suddenly jump up and say, "Why, YES, my good man! You must be right! Let me go change my voter registration RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE, and let's all move to a state run by your guys!"
- Someone who thinks that 10 days before an event with 4,000 people - which I am in charge of - I  have time for her to come to my office and SIT AND WALK HER THROUGH THE EVENT WEBSITE, step by step. And show her how it works. Because she signed up online, and she's not very good with computers. (Her words, not mine.)
- Someone whining to me that she was doing "the work of three people!" When I inquired what that entailed, it was three kinds of work. So the rest of us are all doing the jobs of about 27 people, methinks.

- Another genius calling me last week and insisting that we should move this event (the location of which is printed on posters, brochures, etc., and scheduled with vendors and volunteers) right into downtown. "Because," she said, "Lots of groups get permits at the last minute and do that." Yeah - protesters!

I simplified my reply: "There's no parking downtown."

Caller: "Oh! Okay."

Since that worked so well, perhaps it should be my answer to everything from now on! It might work. It's Portlandia, after all.

12 comments:

Lee said...

Just nod...keep nodding. That'll keep everyone happy. Just change the look on your face when appropriate. :)

Rock Chef said...

Damn politicians! All parties over here are drifting to the right, with a very right wing party that pretends it isn't becoming quite a threat. Not looking nice. If I had the money I would get out of here...

Elephant's Child said...

Hiss and spit.
I really, really wish that a lot more money was devoted to research into finding a cure for stupidity. And jerkdom.

G. B. Miller said...

Just remember, give them a non-committal answer like "sure", blink a couple of times, take a deep breath and make a mental note to perform your monthly monetary donation to the Foundation To Cure Self-Inflicted Stupidity Syndrome.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I think you should just answer "There's no parking downtown" to EVERY stupid question you get, whether it fits or not!

Vanessa Morgan said...

I'm wondering what you'd do to these people if you didn't have this online outlet to blow off some steam ;-)

Abby said...

I like it.

To sign man: "There's no parking downtown"

To the computer illiterate: "There's no parking downtown"

To the overworked: "There's no parking downtown"

Just think of the possibilities!

Charles Gramlich said...

simplify, simplify, simplify!

CraveCute said...

Your stories just prove to me that some people are just stupid-lazy!

OldLady Of The Hills said...

OY VEY! Or, Lord Help Us!!!


I like everyone's suggestion about 'There's no parking downtown' as the answer to anything someone asks you.....

LOVE the Kitty with the Tie on.....lol!

A Beer For The Shower said...

Hey, will you fly to Colorado and walk us through how to use this website? We're not so good with the Internet computers and really need your help.

Blue Grumpster said...

There's no hope for humanity. I mean that in a good way.

I'm buying. Let's go.