I don't dislike Christmas. I do, however, hate how the entire month has turned into a retail free-for-all.
If I wanted an excuse to hit someone, I could find plenty. I don't need to go to Wal-Mart and fight over something on Thanksgiving evening.
That said, there is plenty more to annoy me. Such as:
- People who ask, "Sooooo, finish your Christmas shopping yet?" and don't like it when I answer that we only get presents for people under the age of 18. Everything else we donate to charity. More often than not, people give me a frown and say, "Ah, that's nice of you," and change the subject. Next time, I'll stand up and yell, "Fuck you! I'm Jewish!" Some of my family is also Lutheran, but how the hell would they know?
- People in the Portland metro area basically don't do any fucking work between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day. I know they're not all on sabbatical. What gives? Why do I get a flood of emails Jan. 2? I kid you not, it happens every year. Apparently thumb-twiddling is very popular this time of year.
- People who I barely know asking, "So, what are you doing for the holidays?" I want to reply, "Having a sex toy party. Would you like to come shop?"
Tip for the unitiated: NO IT FUCKING ISN'T. Your brain doesn't compartmentalize like that. It doesn't say, "Hey, sexy! You're going to be anxious today, but it's really coming from your liver. It's not a mental illness."
It's not all bad, though. I do make homemade gifts during this season (see above and below. I'll happily make one for you!)