Tuesday, July 22, 2014

A day for bubble wrap

It has been, as I just texted my friend, a day for bubble wrap. A few days, come to think of it. I am neck deep in idiocy, and it isn't even Wednesday!

These are situations where I think it is OK to ask (and would if I wasn't worried about being employed), "Are you a grownup?"
Once again, all of this really happened.

1. I remind everyone two months after our event that we are closing the books now, so please send in your final donations. Someone comes in from a company team and brings more than $2,000 in cash - and $20 of it in coins.

Him: "I didn't know what to do."
Me: "We did send out emails and put on our website to please turn cash into checks."
Him: "The emails were sent to the wrong person."
Me: "Oh, you weren't registered?"
Him: "Um. I actually didn't read them."

2. We get an email from someone inquiring if our mental health advocacy organization "has classes where a parent can learn when it's unsafe for the kid to be around the other parent." Because you know, us crazy people beat the shit out of everyone and everything. My volunteer had a very diplomatic version of "no, we fucking don't," and I sat there, popping bubble wrap.

3. I did ask the ghost from high school how she found me. "Coming across your name" was actually getting in touch with my former stepsister, who lives halfway across the country, who would only have gotten information from her mother, who would have gotten it from my biological mother, who would have gotten it from my brother. And then, she said, "I did a little research." Right. And then...nothing! She tells me she now lives in Las Vegas. I gave her a brief summary of the past 20 years and nothing, nada, ZIP from her. Fuck this shit.

For those of you who may be dealing with similar people and don't have any bubble wrap handy, here's some virtual bubble wrap. (It's fun.)

22 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

OMG, virtual bubblewrap! I love how the voice says "must have MORE" when you click for a fresh sheet. I'm sending this link to everyone I know, LOL! Thanks so much for posting it.

ShadowRun300 said...

How did I not know about this bubble wrap!? I work in the hospitality industry and deal with multiple idiots as well, so I can relate to your need for bubble wrap. Thanks for the link!

My Girl Murphy said...

Item 2. sounds like a child is about to be used as a weapon in divorce wars. Poor dear.

Loving the bubbles! LOVING THEM!

Elephant's Child said...

I done popped them all and will go back and pop some more.

Lee said...

And those are the reasons why there is a "mental health advocacy organization"!!!

Ginny said...

oh come on $20.00 in change??! And they admitted they didn't even bother to read the email?

As to number 3. That's an odd situation. I would have responded too just to see how she found me. I can't believe her response was just that she lives in Vegas.

OldLady Of The Hills said...

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that Bubble Wrap. Very satisfying, Indeed!
I tell you the world and people are going to Hell In A Hand Basket!! Idiots Abound, everywhere and I think it is like a contagious disease! Hang in there, my dear, and keep "popping"....

Lynn said...

I wonder why that person felt the need to track you down with such persistence? It doesn't sound as if she was a particular friend of yours. Odd, that.

I like to pop actual bubble wrap, so I have bookmarked this virtual variety here at work. :) Thanks!

Abby said...

Does your organization offer classes in "you need to be intelligent enough to figure that out yourself"?

The high school ghost sounds fishy.

I was happily popping virtual bubble wrap - so environmentally friendly! - when my son walked in and I had to go to another page so my son wouldn't see me popping virtual bubble wrap.

Charles Gramlich said...

Sounds like duct tape might be better. :)

Dexter Klemperer said...

And I thought today was going to be boring. Thank you for the virtual bubble wrap! And it's a pretty good rule of thumb that it's unsafe to be around a parent or anyone who is holding a weapon.

LL Cool Joe said...

Oh yep I discovered that online bubble wrap awhile ago, but I prefer the real stuff so I can stuff it into the mouth of someone who is seriously pissing me off!

G. B. Miller said...

Remember, bubble wrap should only be used on the upper portion of the body for maximum efficiency.

Dealing with stupid is such a heavy burden that we have to deal with on daily basis that it's a wonder that we don't go normal on someone.

Father Nature's Corner

Claire said...

I freaking love bubble wrap. I'm sorry you're needing it so much recently!

Vanessa Morgan said...

Never heard of that virtual bubble wrap before. Everyone here seems to be crazy about it, so I'll check it out.

furrybottoms.blogspot.com said...

Bubble wrap is the best stress reliever!! I used to save all my bubble wrap to give to the accountant I work with. She can't get enough of it, hehe

Rock Chef said...

Wow, your life is never dull is it?

Virtual bubble wrap - what an amazing concept - who says the web has nothing good on it?

Granny Annie said...

I had to give up bubble wrap for Ron. It effected his nerves when he heard it. I loved to pop it. Thanks for the virtual site. Now I can satisfy the tension release.

Granny Annie said...

I had to give up bubble wrap for Ron. It effected his nerves when he heard it. I loved to pop it. Thanks for the virtual site. Now I can satisfy the tension release.

DWei said...

I don't have any experience with this, and hopefully I can have a more aloof attitude and shun said irresponsible individuals.

A Beer For The Shower said...

Oh, the sweet irony. I wonder if the guy who brought in $20 in coins knows that his donation is only contributing to the decline in your mental health.

Beatrix said...

RAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT PINT UP YOUR GOD DARN BRUTAL ARSE! DARREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PALMER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!