Wednesday, April 02, 2014

Dumbfuckery

My pal Ms. Crabby Pants has summed it up once again!

After the debacle with the company trying to snatch our sponsorship benefits, they came back and asked for more free shit. No kidding. So Ms. CP suggested this:


Maybe you should remind whoever is in charge over there that your non-profit isn't in the biz of being a public relations firm for their use.  First they want advertising then they want T-shirts. Heck, why quit there...do like NASCAR sponsors.  Get a car with their name plastered all over it and drive around town.  I have attached a possible plate to put on the car as well. 

Note to self: I must appear to have this plastered on my face as well. In one day this week, all of the following happened:
  • Another for-profit enterprise tried to send more people to my luncheon, which is free for guests but costs us $30 a pop, than they offered to give us for sponsorship. I said no. They offered to pay the cost of their meals. (So there wasn't enough of this money for sponsorship, except that there apparently was.) Again, no. Kind of brings to mind that book about Marvin K. Mooney, doesn't it?
  • One of my friends took me out for coffee and being in the car with her freaked me the fuck out. She was in and out of other lanes, laughing at shit that wasn't funny. If I didn't know her better, I'd have sworn she was on drugs. Turns out that she is taking a new diet supplement. "But it's not that," she said, "It's all natural!" No, dipshit, the FDA doesn't regulate supplements, so they can say whatever the hell they want. Turns out her supplement is full of ephedra compounds. "So she is on drugs," my doctor friend said, "just legally."
  • I call my doctor's office after reading the summary of my visit to refill the happy pills, and according to them, unbeknownst to me, 1. I am 100% white, and 2. I have anemia. 
After not finding me in their system several times and asking if I was a new patient even when I affirmed that I have been going there for two years, the clinic's receptionist had no problem canceling out the anemia. But she couldn't grasp the concept of being biracial. Which is an option on their demographic chart. The one, in fact, that I remember checking.

"I'm not Caucasian only," I said. "I'm biracial. Caucasian and Native American."
"Biracial means Caucasian and Native American?" she asked.
"No. Biracial is more than one race. I happen to be those two races."
"Oh, I see."

What she didn't know is that I am on a quality advisory council for that hospital system (oh, the fun things that happen when you work for an advocacy agency!) and that we're meeting again next week.

So I am going to bring it up, but I have to come up with the wording. Do you happen to know another phrase meaning dumbfuckery?

22 comments:

Elephant's Child said...

I am so sorry that you are even contemplating a euphemism for dumbfuckery. It is what it is. Today I have been wearing my volunteer hat and have met with rather a lot of artificial stupidity. No-one could possibly be that stupid naturally.

Birdie said...

How the hell can anyone not know what biracial means?

You seem to have more than your fair share of really stupid people in your life.

LL Cool Joe said...

I didn't have a clue what biracial was until I just googled it. And my partner is, so that just shows you how stupid I am. See add me to your list. :D

Rock Chef said...

Thinking - will let you know if I think of a good word...

Vanessa Morgan said...

Funny to read, but for you it must be irritating sometimes.

Lee said...

Oh! God! Do you have any hair left! I wouldn't! I'd feel like decking someone! lol

Just reading this post made me feel frustrated....I can image how it made you feel! Hahahahahaha!

Oh! Dear...don't you just love people???? ;)

And I keep saying...I purposely live a reclusive existence...do you understand why I do?? lol

Granny Annie said...

Oops, sorry. I was reading fast and though Vanessa Morgan said, "Funny to read, but you must me irritating sometimes." lol lol lol

Debra She Who Seeks said...

If "dumbfuckery" could be used in official reports and assessments, it would be the most overused word in the English language.

Abby said...

Have you done your taxes? Maybe in the box that says "job title", you put "dealing with dumbfuckery".

Ephedra. I thought that was banned.
And... is anyone 100% white?

Charles Gramlich said...

face palm no longer covers it. Geeze.

Rock Chef said...

Got the word:

British Government!

Cheryl said...

I sent you a direct email spewing all my various aspersions that are just too lengthy for your comment section. BUT...I totally understand your frustration. A week or so ago I sent a "missed paper" tag to my newspaper carrier as it the policy when one doesn't get their paper here. A couple days go by and I get an email from their customer service dept saying (and I am not making this up) "I guess you be missed."

Cheryl said...

Oh...I forgot to think you for the link!!! HOW VERY RUDE of Crabby. Crabby Pants is crabby but I try not to have her be rude.

Furry Bottoms said...

uh, "bi" is one of the first words you learn as a language. Was she screwing around with you? How can anybody possibly not know what bi meant? Even in the sexual context? Oh I know. Her father must be a hard cord priest. Except she wouldn't have been conceived. Nevermind.

Another word for dumfuckery... let's see. One crayon short of a crayola box. One pea short of a pod. The light bulb isn't working. Her elevator doesn't go all the way to the top-- except that really only works for guys, being that they think with their penises.

Forgot to pay her brain bill. Somewhere there's a village missing its idiot.

Okay, this is too much fun.

Leah Griffith said...

One of my favorite words lately is refuckingdiculous. Yeah...it covers a lot of ground.
Crabby Pants sent me;)

Introverted Art said...

Free crap? really? :P what a nerve!!!!

G. B. Miller said...

I'm a horrible passenger and a thug driver, so you'll have the best of both worlds.

'Course, by the time you get done with me, an entire week with your least favorite corporation will seem to be a positively joyful experience.

lgsquirrel said...

If you had anemia, you might look pretty white! Just saying.

Ileana said...

There is no other word for it. Just when you think you've heard it all, you come up with a more bizarre story. You can't make this stuff up!

Lynn said...

I'm glad you made it safely out of that car! And I didn't know you were biracial.

A Beer For The Shower said...

I'm just pleased to see "dumbfuckery" being used more widely now.

And kudos to you for not backing down on your race. As for me, I've just learned to accept that I'm white. People are too stupid to understand. Yes, I'm half Mexican. No, you're right, I'm not brown. I'm very white in color. But that doesn't mean I'm Caucasian. Yes, but I know I'm white in color. You know what? Fuck it, I'm white.

Lastly, you have e-mail per your request.

Ms. CrankyPants said...

I said the BEST word to my husband yesterday. He was describing something annoying that had happened and was at a loss for a word to capture the experience. I bleated out "XXXX!" and it was just perfect. To my great dismay, I can't remember the f*cking word!! So, yeah. Sorry. :(