Tuesday, April 08, 2014

Don't kiss me!

I thought that title would catch your eye.

We had an event today for work. Three different men grabbed me in hugs, and kissed the top of my head. THREE! I kid you not.
Um. What the fuck! Is this a new fetish I don't know about? They like the smell of my shampoo? Sociologically, I wonder what this signifies. So, boys, enlighten me. What does this gesture mean?

And to make things interesting, some highlights from the Book of No Manners:
  • The multiple people who grab me in the midst of managing this formal event with 300 people and say, "I know you're busy, but..." and proceed to ask questions that have nothing to do with the event.
  • The volunteer who asks me a question I specifically have told her to ask the volunteer coordinator, then gets huffy when I redirect the question to the volunteer coordinator.
  • The person who confirms that she will have chicken rigatoni a week ago. Then today, she freaks out because she didn't know rigatoni was made of pasta. (Guess who got a last-minute special entree?)
 The local celebrity who made a grand gesture of writing us a check...that turned out to be for less than her lunch cost. (There was no charge to attend.)
  • The person who kept emailing me at work knowing I was setting up for the luncheon, asking questions about something completely irrelevant and unimportant.
And then there is the sweet older lady who is mostly deaf, who moved up to another table and then looked at my boss and said, "The microphone doesn't work! I even moved closer to try to hear better."

It was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hard not to laugh at that...but I managed. She even wrote us a check.

And I have to say - having a smart phone is pissing me off. Here I was worrying that things kept popping up on it, and they were all notifications of people Tweeting from my event! I will never understand Twitter. The first four letters sums it up for me.


My Girl Murphy said...

People kiss little girls on the top of the head - not grown women. Is the message that they think you're just the cutest little thing acting all grown up running around managing an enormously stressful event like a big girl! You are indeed adorable, but that's hardly the point!

Birdie said...


One more just for you!

But if someone kissed me on top of my head I would punch them in the stomach.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Yeah, it's your shampoo. It's the talk of the blogosphere. If I were there, I'd kiss you on the head right now.

Elephant's Child said...

I like Birdie's style. Rather a lot.
Head kisses are patronising and deserve the infliction of pain.

LL Cool Joe said...

Shit, I had no idea women didn't like kisses on the forehead. Damn I must stop doing it. :D

Granny Annie said...

Do not hug me and certainly do not kiss me. I extend my hand to offer a handshake and they use that hand to pull me into a hug. Stop it! I don't know you and I don't want to know you and if you keep this crap up I'm calling Riot Kitty.

Lynn said...

I keep seeing that - men grabbing women and kissing the tops of their heads. Did someone announce that was a thing to do? I would not like that either...

Sounds like quite an event. :)

Ms. CrankyPants said...

Ooooh, how annoying! Glad I am tall; a so-inclined fellow would find it difficult to kiss the top of my head. Plus, I have a withering stare that discourages unwanted social contact!

Abby said...

Kissing the top of your head? I'm trying to imagine different scenarios involving that and they're all just weird.

Charles Gramlich said...

some people are really just huggy. I would find that quite uncomfortable, even if it were women kissing me on top of the head.

Cheryl said...

What? I have never heard of people kissing other people on the head...not past the age of 3 anyway.

You must just be irresistibly young and precious to these people. Perhaps, for future events you need to wear a pin that says. I AM AN ADULT.

I notice you make no mention of killing or maiming anyone so you must of refrained from doing so, huh? I am extremely proud of you.

As for Twitter...I don't really get it either. I hope the people that were tweeting during your event were saying nice things.

G. B. Miller said...

Well....I kiss my wife on top of her head because 1) it's easier than kissing her on the face multiple times a night and 2) it's less offensive than kissing a woman on her face and 3) I'm taller than my wife {she's 4'10"}.

Lee said...

I don't think anyone has kissed me on top of my head since I was a little girl.

And then I grew to be 5ft 9 tall in bare feet; so few would've been able to reach up there, anyway.

Particularly when I was a younger woman wearing stiletto/high heels. And when beehive hairdos were in vogue, they'd even have less hope of doing so! Anyway, they'd probably become stuck fast from all the hairspray if they did manage it!!

And I, too, would probably have wondered what the hell they were trying to do and have given them a swift whack with my stilettos!

lotta joy said...

I get hugged every time someone has "allergies", and I end up with their "cold".

Ragdoll Mommy said...

I've NEVER heard of anyone "kissing" someone on the top of their heads; if someone did that to me,I'd punch them in the lip.

What'da great blog, by the way.


OldLady Of The Hills said...

I'm thinking they are all so grateful to you for working as hard as you do and they don'r know how else to thank you, in a big way so they kiss the top of your head....
Does that sound to dream-like? LOL!
Too much wishful thinking on my part?

Betty Manousos said...

they surely liked the smell of your shampoo! lol

head kisses? that's how one kisses a child. so it's a sweet kind of kiss. It might also they think of you as younger.

big hugs!
xoxo kisses (on the head!)

Anonymous said...

Head kisses? Were they off target?

Blue Grumpster said...

Three different men grabbed you and kissed the top of your head? Is that a fact? That's weird. You're not their kid sister are you? I think you should ask them what their urge to kiss the top of your head is all about. Maybe it was a bet.

Dexter Klemperer said...

Kissing the top of the head, that's a new one. I find it totally creepy when men think it's appropriate to hug a woman who is a stranger rather than a handshake. I even find it creepy when talk show hosts do it.
I'm sorry but people that describe themselves as huggers are creepy.