Thursday, December 12, 2013

It's all (still) true!

More from work...

One of my volunteers came in special today and ended up taking an appointment that one of my coworkers would have done.

This coworker is, shall we say, reserved. I mean, he doesn't mind if we swear, but you could have Weird Al come make a personal performance and he might crack half a grin.

The appointment to sign someone up for insurance asks, duh, about income. According to my volunteer, the conversation between them went something like this:

Volunteer: "And are you currently employed?"
Appointment girl: "No." Pause. "But I'm a web cam stripper." Pause. "Do I count that as income?"
I laughed so hard I forgot to ask what he ended up putting on the application. Not merely because a web cam stripper approached us to sign up for insurance, but clearly she wanted my volunteer to know what she did in her spare time. I mean, you're employed or you're not. It's not rocket science. But it would have been fucking hilarious if my coworker would have had that one.

And from home, I am still cursing the day I let my dad talk me out of taking an auto shop class in high school, because I am a complete idiot when it comes to cars, and I'm always worried that I'm going to get fucked with my pants on when I take the car in for anything more than an oil change. (He denies this, but it's true! I was all ready to sign up and he said, "Why would you want to be in that class with a bunch of boys?" Come to think of it, that was probably his worry.) Anyhow, I was thoroughly annoyed yesterday because despite leaving my car at the shop for two hours Saturday, and Mr. RK arranging his fucked up work schedule to accommodate me so I wouldn't have to sit in the customer "lounge" for two hours, the problem is, if anything, worse.
The conversation yesterday with the service guy involved a lot of "well maybe" and "I'm totally booked"  on his end, and then I politely lost patience. On my end, I may have said, "Fuck!", although it wasn't aimed at anyone. I must have said something right because last we left it, I told him I'd look at my calendar to make an appointment and call today.

Me: "I have the Mustang that has the windshield wiper fluid problem. I have a few days off next week. Can I make an appointment?"
Service guy: "Yes. When would you like to come in?"
Me: "What times do you have available Wednesday?"
Service guy: "Anytime. I'm at your mercy."

Much different than being fully booked, no?

Those words can't possibly have been uttered before, nor will they be uttered since, from a car service guy to a customer, can they?

Who knows. They might blow up my car next week, but that might give me more material.

24 comments:

Elephant's Child said...

I am sure that the car boffins make a practise of fucking over anyone that they think they can. Particularly but not exclusively women.
And am awed that you got one to say 'I am at your mercy'. You must have delivered your expletive with conviction.
Do you give lessons?

Lee said...

Why it takes some people so long to say something that should be and could be sorted with just a couple of words.

It's like when you ask someone if they'd like a cup of coffee. They say "Yes"...and then you have to ask another million questions to find out how they like their bloody coffee! Why can't they just say, "white, with one", for example!!!!????

LL Cool Joe said...

I phoned up the doctor yesterday, and that's a miracle in itself. I got through to receptionist and said "Can I book an appointment to see a doctor please?" She said "Yes when would you like it?" I said "Well either tomorrow on Monday if that's possible, or whenever is convenient." She said "sorry, you have to phone up at 8.00am tomorrow morning and make the appointment then".

What? Why ask me when I want an appointment only to tell me I can't. Weird. So as it took me all day to pluck up the courage to phone, now I haven't bothered.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

A good, trustworthy and honest mechanic is worth their weight in gold. The shop where I go only repairs Toyotas and Hondas so when I was shopping this summer for a new car, I restricted my choices to those brands. OMG can't lose my mechanic!!!!

Ms. CrankyPants said...

I'd like to IMMEDIATELY hire you to handle all of my calls. The instant someone is remotely pushy, I start backtracking and apologizing. EVEN IF IT'S TOTALLY THEIR FAULT. (Sorry for shouting; I'm great at being assertive in print. From far away. When anonymous.)

p.s. Laughed out loud at "fucked with my pants on." Incorporating it into my repertoire at once.

Mike_D said...


Volunteer: "A Webcam stripper, eh? I may need to have a (web)address to make sure everything's all set, you know, for our records. Are you fully dressed for your employment, or do you have to wear a schoolgirl outfit, or perhaps as Vampirella? For our records, of course...."

Charles Gramlich said...

I call my son if I have car questions.

Birdie said...

I live in fear of having something going wrong with my car. I am one of the people that would agree to a "Johnson Rod".

Ms. CrankyPants said...

Wait? Is there something wrong with a Johnson Rod? I've had several put in my car, and I get pretty good deals on them (according to the mechanic).

Granny Annie said...

I have an automotive tale to tell but I also have a killer virus that makes it impossible to deliver the details and the devil is in the details as we all know. I cannot even fight with the mechanic but I shall heal and I shall seek my revenge in due course and spill my guts at a later time. Stay tuned:)

Cheryl said...

I agree with Debra She Who Seeks, that a good mechanic is worth his/her weight in gold. I think everyone should of taken that class so we would at least have a chance of knowing if a repair is "really" needed or if we are just helping with the shop's profit.

DWei said...

Don't hate on webcam strippers. If you're attractive and get a few "fans" you can make quite a bit of money.

And get quite a number of free "gifts".

G. B. Miller said...

Webcam stripper...I definitely would've raised an eyebrow at that.

However, since no one else asked, I'll ask.

Was she good looking?

Abby said...

Oh I hear ya on the trepidation anytime I take a car to "da shop". Your "always worried that I'm going to get fucked with my pants on" says it differently but so much better.

The service guy's availability indicates that he probably found your webcam stripper site.

A Beer For The Shower said...

I don't want to know how much webcam strippers make because I'm sure they can make more in one session than I make all year writing books. And that's just too much for me to handle.

Anil P said...

"Mercy" That's a surrender if there was one. To get a service guy to say that is victory of sorts.

Lynn said...

Oh my - I thought I had commented already - I must have gotten interrupted.

A web cam stripper - an occupation I have never heard of before, but somehow am not surprised. Does she take credit card payments or something??? :)

Riot Kitty said...

EC: Sure! I thought I had only stated the obvious, but maybe it worked.
Lee: I really hate that! Exactly.
Joey: Aww, that sucks. I'm sorry.
Debra: Wow, that's dedication!
Ms CP: That would be my pleasure!
Mikey!!
Charles: You totally cracked me up. Out of all of points of this post to comment on :)
Birdie: What is that? I'm not joking!
GA: I'm tuned. Feel better soon!
Cheryl: I agree. I emailed the link to this post to my dad to reinforce that idea.
DW: I'm not sure I'd want those kinds of "gifts"!
Abby: HAHA!
ABFTS: Gooood point. Although, you could always become a webcam stripper and then write about it. That would be fucking hilarious, come to think of it.
Anil: Well, thank you!
GB: Not only was she not good looking, apparently she smelled like pot and may have been stoned during the appointment. Needless to say, the volunteer has MUCH more patience than I do.
Lynn: Unsure about payment! Good question.

Memphis Steve said...

If you find a mechanic with a well earned good reputation then they aren't going to jerk you around whether you know about cars or not. It's the shady guys who do that, and they do that to anyone they think they can get away with it on. Places like Budget Brakes, Goodyear, Firestone, Ammco transmissions and a host of others have reputations as rip-off shops because that's the corporate policy. But these days, thanks to the internet, you can often find customer ratings of various local mechanics and choose someone based on that. Anyway, it's worth a try if you're concerned about your mechanic.

Mustang, eh? Nice choice! But I'd get that cat out of the engine before he gets caught up in pulleys. He may stretch your belt out a bit when it squishes him.

Birdie said...

A Johnson Rod is a Seinfeld reference.

George Costanza: [about mechanics] Well of course they're trying to screw you! What do you think? That's what they do. They can make up anything; nobody knows! "Why, well you need a new johnson rod in here." Oh, a Johnson rod. Yeah, well better put one of those on!

Betty Manousos said...

i have never heard of web cam stripper before but i've heard of web cam model! i just googled that.
i think there's potential to make a living doing this for a period of time...just saying!

big hugs!

Riot Kitty said...

Steve: My car's under warranty, so it's the dealership if I want it fixed for free. The one I went to got pretty good ratings, but the cat, yeah...
Birdie: Thank you! I had no idea.
Betty: I'll keep that in mind if times get tight ;)

Professor Chaos said...

Jeezus, I hope that counts as employment, I hope she's not doing that as a hobby!

Riot Kitty said...


PC: Hmm. She does get paid. She just wasn't clever enough to figure out whether that counted as income.