Do you ever have one of those days where you wish you could convincingly pass yourself off as someone who couldn't speak English (or whatever your native tongue may be?)
I spent the bulk of the day putting out fires. DUMB fires. As my board president put it, "Did you remember to douse (volunteer x)?"
Failing that, I could also have a t-shirt custom designed (or an automatic office message, even better) with all of this text:
Before you ask anything, please keep the following in mind:
- Yes, I may be obsessive about getting back to people, but no, I do not work 24/7.
- If you think you know all about getting stories on the front page, you probably don't.
- Yes, it is offensive to name your event group "Fucking Crazy People," especially seeing as how none of you has a diagnosis and unlike those of us you do, it's not funny for you to try to own that word. (OK, I exaggerate, but it was pretty close. Just remove the word "fucking.")
- No, you should not insist on signing up online when you do not know how to turn on the computer. Or spell your name.
- Yes, my time is more important than yours.
What's interesting is that while my boss is out of town, I have a volunteer running amok (the one who needs dousing) and believe it or not, the best part of my day was finding out that we are going to get ice cream donated.
The ice cream guy said he wasn't going to bring as many flavors this year, because people had - ahem - a hard time choosing.
So I got him talking - luckily he had a sense of humor - and found out that the same type of people who cause me to want to pull out my hair also show up when he donates things to nonprofit groups.
Case in point: selling pizza to support the American Cancer Society. He donates the pizza and proceeds from the sales - it's literally only $1 per pizza - go to the organization.
Complaints: "I don't want that kind! I want another kind! I want a bigger one! Why do I have to pay for this?"
Ice cream: "I want the one that's in the picture on the side of your truck. What do you mean you don't have that kind? You don't have all 50 of the kinds pictured? What kind of free ice cream service are you, anyway??
Yes, ice cream man, you and I are soul mates.