Saturday, May 04, 2013

Go offline yourself! Please.

Now, I need to start this post with the note that the overwhelming majority of people who sign up for our events are awesome, low-maintenance (or reasonably low-maintenance) individuals who want to help. That is my disclaimer. But I can't really find a lot of humor about that, so today I write about the remaining 1% who are probably going to cause me to go bald.

I am coming to the conclusion that our website for the event coming up at work makes people a) blind and b) forgetful, and c) removes any trace of diplomacy they may have had previous to contacting me.

As in, "HELP!! No one can find my team when they search for it on the site!!!" This from the same people who select the box that says "do not allow my team name to be searchable on the website."

As in, "I just tried to post a link on Facebook and it says the page's privacy restrictions won't let me!! How are we going to do fundraising if we can't post the link?!" This from the person who did not check the box that says "allow my name to be searchable on my page in connection with a fundraising page for this event."

My favorite are the people who email you and start out with, "Now, I know this isn't your fault, and you have no control over it, but..." And then unleash a torrent of abuse on you.

To me, that introduction, if you plan to be rude,  is complete MERDE. I mean, come on. That means, "I'm going to bitch anyway just because I can!" Right?

Over and over, we tell people that if they aren't computer-savvy, they can sign up for the event on a piece of paper. It's called a registration form. Not too high tech.

But the same people who say, "No! I absolutely want to sign up online!" Then they can't figure anything out and think that our job for the next several weeks is dedicated to helping walk them through turning on their PC.

My favorite complaint to date, though, is this one: "It's really annoying that I can only post three pictures on the webpage I create!" A bit of background: these are temporary pages people create for a couple of months to do fundraising and post about why they are participating. Not a permanent site or page.

Don't you wish you had that much free time?

Of course, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE PEOPLE ends their email or voicemail with, "Call me ASAP!"

Because with a tiny staff running an entire state organization, we have nothing else going on and nowhere else to be. There was one person who kept emailing me on my vacation (she always emails at night and on the weekends and expects an immediate response) and, despite the out of office messages, wrote back, "WHERE ARE YOU?!"

To which I would have loved to write, "Staying home to annoy you!"

I wish people came with buttons that said "take me offline," for all kinds of reasons.


Birdie said...

Oh, I am one of those people that start calls with, "I know this is not your fault". For instance, when I called this week to complain that I had not yet received an item that I ordered back in March I immediately began the conversation with the rep, with "I know it isn't your fault but I am getting really frustrated..." I never thought that saying that would just be all that more annoying. :-(

middle child said...

The one that kept emailing you while you were on vacation? You should have emailed her back that you are vacationing on an island that has no internet. Then let her just think about that.

Riot Kitty said...

Birdie: I am too, and I'm polite - so I just realized I didn't clarify enough that it was the people who went on to be super rude that I was talking about, and I did a ninja edit ;)
MC: Man, that would have been great!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Unfortunately you can't just tell those people who sign up online: "Garbage in, Garbage out!"

Kathleen said...

I totally don't mind the "I know it's not your fault but..." people as much as I do the "and YOU GUYS did (insert complaint here) people. Those are the ones that make me feel stabby.

Claire said...

Hurrah for ninja edits.

I am always amazed by how rude people can be!

Cheryl said...

You must have a really high tolerance for idiocy if the ultimate effect is baldness. If I had your job lack of hair wouldn't be my problem...the pending murder charges would be the issue.

I couldn't be held back, if someone started a conversation with "I know this isn't your fault" and then bitched me out. I am the kind of person that after they screamed (thereby feeling better, supposedly) I would piss them off by being snarky.

For example: "If this is the rude shit you dish to the person whose fault it ISN'T, I would hate to see what you say to the person whose fault it is...BTW your an ass."

There is the likelihood that comment would not be received well, but then maybe I could plead self defense on the murder charges.

Charles Gramlich said...

Stupid people. Would but they all had one throat, and I a sharp knife pressed to their collective jugular. :)

LL Cool Joe said...

I must remember not to send you an email that says "I know it's not your fault but...."

Btw. There's an award for you on my blog.

Granny Annie said...

Oh man alive, now I'm feeling guilty. We have joined a non-profit group that wants us to sign up online. The instructions are complete and appear very simple but I have either lost my computer savvy or something is missing. I need to ask for assistance but ain't no way I will do that now! lol

Betty Manousos said...

getting an email that says "i know...but" sounds really stupid to me in the first place.

a brilliant post as usual, rk.

great points on emailing habits.

wish you a great remainder of your weekend!

big hugs~

Riot Kitty said...

Debra: So true!
Kathleen: Those are worse.
Claire: Me too!
Cheryl: I suppose I do! Comes with the territory...that and not murdering people.
Charles! What a great line!
Joey: Ha! Thanks btw :)
GA: I totally don't mind when people's the rudeness that I can't stand.
Betty: Good point! And thanks :)

OldLady Of The Hills said...

This would drive me nuts!!! I have no patience for anything anymore....
It's why I would be very very bad in your position! I think you are a Saint!!!
LOVE the wonderful pictures---As Always!

Lee said...

Arrrrrggggghhhhhhh!!!!! People!!!!!!! Don't get me started!!!!!!!


G. B. Miller said...

Reminds me of the fact that I spent last Monday showing people how to log into the computer so that they can access their paycheck stub (we're going paperless in July) and I get to do all again in two weeks elsewhere.

Which requires me to play dress up.


Ignorance is such F'n bliss in my world that to not be ignorant is to be abnormal.

Introverted Art said...

I completely understand your frustration... I wonder if work life was ALWAYS like this... I would really love to work from home if I could. No talk to no one...

A Beer For The Shower said...

That "Now I know this isn't your fault..." statement reminds me of that whole "with all due respect" thing. Most people abuse it and use it as a way come across as being gentle, even if they proceed to rip you apart. I love when I hear something like, "With all due respect, this is the worst pile of garbage I've ever read." It's like, you do know that adding "with all due respect" to the beginning doesn't somehow soften the blow of what you just said, right?

Lynn said...

If only it worked that way. :)

Riot Kitty said...

So I just wrote back to everyone and it disappeared! I give up.

DWei said...

And in fear of looking like an asshole I try my best to exhaust all possible options before I ask for help.

Unless it's something extremely technically (e.g. something server side that I have no control over) I won't get help.

Betty Manousos said...

hi rt!
as soon as i noticed my typo (sorry about that) on my recent blog post, i had to stop by and let you know what i really meant about those parades.
so what i meant to say was..."ticker tape" parades!
have a great tuesday my friend!

big hugs~

Rock Chef said...

OK, I have clicked on the "Post a comment" link.

Now what?

What do I do now?

How do I add photos to my comment?

You really aren't giving me the help I need, you know. Call me ASAP so we can get this sorted!!!!


lotta joy said...

"I know it's not your fault"

"Not to be rude, but. . ."

"Could you repeat that? My television is too loud."

"Where is the STOP button? I want to shut my computer down."

Riot Kitty said...

DW: Hmm, that's too bad because you'd probably be a very easy customer!
Betty: Gotcha! No worries!
LJ: Exactly...sometimes I want a stop button on my workday. Thanks for stopping by.