Thursday, May 23, 2013

Even my phone has a foul mouth

My phone has a mind of its own, and apparently, a mouth worse than mine.

When it does predictive texting, it has come up with some rude stuff that I swear I have never typed.

I type "stupid," it adds "bitch." I type "tight," it adds "ass." As my friend put it, "I had to program my phone to do that!"

For some reason, it won't let me add the word "fuck" to the dictionary, but I suppose Google has to draw the line somewhere.

Today, for the first time, I tried voice to text. What a joke!

I tried to invite a friend to dinner and say, "There is no charge, but they do an ask. The next one is June 5."

My phone wrote: "There is no charge, but they do an ass. The next one is due today."

What do you do when your technology is technologically challenged? Or maybe my phone is more of a pervert than I am?

Pardon the short post. I'm a bit under the weather. At least I can say the word "fuck" here and have it stick.

26 comments:

Elephant's Child said...

Get better soon - I expect you have just run yourself ragged not telling people to fuck off (even when they deserved it).
Predictive text does my head in. It never, ever comes even close to what I thought I wanted to say. And I don't think I am even going to attempt voice to text. Damn it.

Charles Gramlich said...

As long as machines can't curse right we're safe from AI!

LL Cool Joe said...

Another reason why I don't have a mobile phone.

Oh no, I really hope you feel better very soon. Chin up!

jmcr foundation said...

Get well soon..!

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Lynn said...

I hope you are better soon - get some R&R this weekend if you can. xo

OldLady Of The Hills said...

i love that your phone has a dirty mind....LOL!

Oh, do feel better very soon, my dear....You are no doubt exhausted from your very hard work for all these many many months....Rest Well!!!!

Rock Chef said...

When I get a new phone, the first thing I do is turn off predictive texting...

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I hope you feel better real fuckin' soon.

Dexter Klemperer said...

What Debra She Who Seeks said. I know the feeling. Cold knocked me off my feet and blog for 2 weeks, couldn't sleep and watched endless Petticoat Junction re-runs. Hard to believe that was ever a show. Still better than the infomercials.

Betty Manousos said...

i do hope you feel better really soon!

hugs

p.s. i linked to you today!

Granny Annie said...

Oh boy, thank you for giving me the perfect opportunity to share a story. I attended a city planning meeting and was seated next to the Assembly of God pastor. I was typing my notes on my Kindle notepad app which makes some strange corrections. The leader was giving us a website for the city and the preacher was helping me because I didn't get it and he was spelling it out for me. I was typing and not paying attention. Suddenly he laughed and I looked. I had typed fornication.com. He announced this to the whole group. Glad he had a good sense of humor.

Kelly said...

I clicked on the link from Betty's...

I can't tell you how many times I have laughed at what my phone has thought I said. Anything from obscenities to total nonsense.

wigsf3 said...

Voice to text... In other words, a phone call. What'll they think of next?

Cheryl said...

Hope you're feeling better, Riot Kitty.

I quit talking to my phone as she (I am assuming it's a she) can't understand me. I find it laughable that phones change non-swear words to swear words and often resort to name calling. (such as bitch or ass) The programmer of those devices is probably a sick fuck. But I guess I couldn't type that into my phone, huh?

Pedro Luis López Pérez (PL.LP) said...

I come from the blog of Betty Manousos, Cut and Dry, and I love your corner, so if you do not mind, I become a follower of your magical space.
Hugs and kisses.

Lee said...

Rest up, Riot Kitty...we need you back out there fighting the battle on Monday! ;)

Riot Kitty said...

Thanks everyone ;)
GA, I laughed about that ALL DAY LONG!

Riot Kitty said...

And thank you Betty!

DWei said...

At least your phone isn't racist like my friend's. He probably could get fined for racism or discrimination based off some of the things said.

Ileana said...

Voice to text is hilarious...you should see what pops up when I speak Spanglish!

Riot Kitty said...

DW: Wow. Seriously? That's really disturbing.
Ily: I bet! You could do a post on that.

Kathleen said...

I thought it was just me! That stupid microphone never recognizes what I mean to say, and I always blamed it on my Southern accent. And I am also pissed at the fact that when I'm saying "that fucking whoremouth" it translates it into a text message of censored f****** w**** mouth words.

I am an adult. I know what I meant to say. Don't censor me. I guess I have the opposite problem; I wish my phone was more "R" rated. ;-)

A Beer For The Shower said...

I always make fun of my wife, because her phone doesn't understand her. It'll understand me, though. Keep in mind she has no accent whatsoever, so... I think it's just racist. :)

Riot Kitty said...

Kathleen: That's hilarious!
ABFTS: Seriously, that's shitty. BTW, I just tried to type that and it came out "shirt."

Introverted Art said...

tight and ass is just priceless!

Riot Kitty said...

IA: I thought so, too ;)