Wednesday, October 10, 2012

No, you cannot has cheezburger, you stupid man.

Sorry for the delay in posting - our most recent big event at work is over, and now I am back in the land of the living.

It seemed to go over very well - no one noticed the typical behind-the-scenes funny business, such as...

- The legislator who showed up at the wrong dinner, but decided to stay (why don't we ever charge these people?)

- The person who e-mailed me when I was already at the hotel and the tables were already set up, wanting a seat...

- The board member who was arranging and rearranging tables up until a couple of hours before the event.

- The volunteer who demanded to talk to me about next month's event because "the dinner's going on now, so what's the problem?" (I am in charge of it from start to finish, including seating absent-minded legislators.)

- The honored guest who forgot he was supposed to ask people to give us money (my boss reminded him.)

And there are ALWAYS the people who know they are being a big pain in the ass - such as the person who wanted to buy a ticket 15 minutes before we left to set things up - but begin their e-mails with, "I am really sorry to ask, but..." Or, "I know this is at the last minute, but..."

You're not sorry, you know it's last minute. I'd much rather you tell me, "I'm being a pain in the ass, but I have cash and you work for a nonprofit, and you will feed me!" You know, kind of like the Sleveen, in a weird kind of way. (That didn't work for you? Oh never mind.)
Despite some circumstances out of our control (the biggest dinner in town scheduled for the same night, after we had picked ours), we filled the room. Our emcee, a local news guy, was hilarious - even more hilarious was the steady stream of middle-aged women hitting on him, when he clearly didn't shop on their side of the street! Well, wine will do that.

Funny enough, despite all kinds of accommodations (vegan, allergies, diets, etc.), enough wasn't enough for one of my sponsor's guests. Given the choice between salmon and risotto, he said, "Can't I just get a hamburger?" (At a $125-a-ticket fundraiser.)

And she replied, "No! NO, YOU CANNOT HAVE A HAMBURGER!"

But we all know it would have been better if she said something like the title, don't you think?

One person who did come through was Mr. RK, my tireless volunteer. He can has cheezburger. 


DWei said...

He wanted a hamburger over risotto? What a plebe... :|

Rock Chef said...

So much fun!

Hm, no burger joints nearby? Could have got him a Happy Meal?

The Elephant's Child said...

You have missed out on a wonderful fund raiser. Offer to provide el stupido with a hamburger every day, or even twice a day for $125 a time.

Granny Annie said...

Oh the gall...the unmitigated gall...the outrageous insolence and effrontery!!!!! Yet you love your work and serve it's cause so well. Hooray RK:)

"I'm on low carb diet. Could I just have $125 worth of cheese?"

Lynn said...

I'm glad it went well in spite of these wacky glitches. :)

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I'm sure it makes you want to scream and tear your hair out in huge handfuls! Good self-control, Riot Kitty!

John McElveen said...

You should have said sure--Salmon or Risotto Burger?

You my friend are a riot!!!

I don't understand what side of the Str-----OHHHHHHHH--LOL Gotcha!


LL Cool Joe said...

If the choice was salmon and risotto I probably would have skipped the meal and gone for a burger after it was over, but then I really am a pain in the butt when it comes to eating and food. :D

Glad it went well!

Riot Kitty said...

D: I thought it was hilarious!
RC: That is exactly what I told the sponsor! "He should go to McDonald's first." (The sponsor is a friend of mine.)
TEC: What a great idea!
GA: You know, the hotel probably would accommodate that!
L: Thanks! Maybe next year I'll sneak in some gnomes ;)
D: You know it ;)
John: Excellent idea!
Joey: I'm a totally picky eater as well...I ended up having some vegan dish that I couldn't even identify (I had the server tell me what it was) because I'm a vegetarian and can't have garlic ;)

A Beer for the Shower said...

That's hilariously awesome. Was that last man Slim Dyson by chance? I hear he's pretty fond of cheeseburgers.

Also, I just had to reply to your comment. Amelia IS written about an ex... my brother-in-law's ex. She was a nasty golddigger who could always spin things into a 'positive,' and my brother-in-law is a dopey millionaire who easily believes things people say, especially when those people have giant stripper boobs to help ease the persuasion.

Afternote: It's implausible for Amelia to be modeled after any of Brandon's exes or any of my exes simply because neither of us have ever had any money in which to gold dig...

Riot Kitty said...

ABFTS: Slim at least would have provided some entertainment ;)

Hmm...maybe I should use my giant stripper boobs to try that!

Holland said...

I applaud your patience... I would have been going postal long before the

Logical Libby said...

I admire the fact you are still standing. The fundraising dinner for my husband's school is going on right now and I am steering far, far away.

And you should have just told her to go to Burger King.