Well, I haven't tried the product in question, but I couldn't resist this as the title for a post about trying a vegan diet. As most of you know, I've been a vegetarian on and off since fourth grade, and completely vegetarian for the past decade. What is the difference, some people have asked? Vegan means you eat no animal products at all, including things that have milk, eggs or cheese.
I decided to try this because multiple studies have shown that many people with an illness I was recently diagnosed with who are on this diet have been able to completely stop taking medications, or at least severely reduce the medications, after a few months.
Yes, I love cheese enchiladas, but I figured this was worth a shot. I was already not drinking milk. Results so far have been great, but I have learned a few things...
1. Avocados and peanut butter are your best friends. Well hell, you've got to have something a little fattening once in awhile. Though the diet calls for not much of them.
2. No substitute will taste like butter. Believe it.
3. Most vegan veggie burgers taste like...well, it's debatable if you'd rather lick the floor, before or after wiping it down with bleach.
4. Be prepared, even if you live near a city that closely resembles Berkeley, to have a hard time finding things to eat out if you're in a traditional "American" place, e.g. for a work meeting. "Vegan? We have a fruit plate." I'm a vegan, not a rabbit (although Mr. RK would find that statement debatable.)
5. Five words: Extra. Virgin. Olive. Oil. Popcorn. NOM!
6. Veggie broth sometimes has animals in it (WHY?!)
7. Likewise, fake cheese often contains lactose. Inquiring minds want to know: Why the hell would you buy fake cheese if you could eat the real thing? Masochism, maybe?
8. I have gotten funnier looks checking out at the grocery store lately. You try shopping for one vegan, one meat-eater who is not on a restricted diet, and two cats, and your shopping list looks a little like this: dry black beans, vegan chicken burgers, chocolate, Cosmo bad girl Kama Sutra edition, litter. (Yes, I bought that magazine. Throw everything at me.)
9. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, who finds out you are doing this diet (and you're not sure how, because you're not trumpeting it everywhere), says things like, "Well, I COULD NEVER DO THAT!" (tip for the uninitiated: I don't really give a flying fuck), and "Well what do you eat?" To which I'd like to reply, "You know - salsa with napkins. That kind of thing."
10. I don't have a number 10. Insert your own funny comment here.