Fred and his Willard

I thought about blogging about the recent shootings, but I was just too upset thinking about it.

So I'll move on to aging celebrities getting busted in adult movie theaters. Granted, no one wants the headline, "Fired by PBS, Defended by Porn Theater Owner," but seriously? Do the cops have nothing better to do with their time?

Personally, I don't give a flying fuck if people amuse themselves in a venue where people basically go to - you know. I think PBS was lame to fire him, because 1) he hasn't been convicted yet (he might still get off, no pun intended, like the naked airport guy in my city just did), 2) it's just stupid, and 3) as a former marketing person, I can tell you the publicity would have made a lot more people tune in!

As my dad put it, "Old Fred was doing what boys do at porn theaters.  At age 72 I say Go, Fred!" 

And as my friend K put it, "What exactly do people THINK happens at a XXX theater?!
That's like arresting someone for drinking in a bar."

Mind you, I'm sure Old Fred could have afforded big screen porn in the comfort of his own home, but maybe he felt like getting out a bit.

*Ninja edit: he said it was a lousy film!*

Which reminds me of a story. Don't ask me why, but my friend L would say, "This would only happen in your family!"

My grandfather is a retired pastor and a notorious prude. (Until recently, when we found out that has been getting him into trouble at the assisted living facility for being sexually inappropriate with comments to the staff...but that's another post.) Anyhow. After crusading against porn his entire career, he randomly decided, when he was about 65, to go see what all of the fuss was about and go see an adult film in a theater.

He told my dad about the experience.

"So there are all of these guys in there, and they all have raincoats on their laps. Why do they have raincoats? And there's this funny smell. And then, the movie starts, and ON THE SCREEN THERE IS THIS TEN FOOT PENIS! AND A HUGE VAGINA!"

My dad: "So, what did you do?"

My grandfather: "I FLED FOR MY LIFE!"

When my dad told me this story, we both laughed so hard that I almost drove off the road.

If you have any similar family stories, I'd love to hear them. Even if they don't involve porn.