Monday, May 07, 2012

Welcome to my work

I love my job, but that doesn't stop it from having moments where I feel like I've woken up in the middle of a Stephen King novel.

Witness today. We have an event coming up which requires registration. Some people don't want to go online, so they send in registration forms.

A volunteer is tying away, putting these into excel, and he says, "Um."

He says, "I think you should look at this. The Rev. V.V. Bright the Second (not his real name, but yes, he filled in Rev. --- the Second) has written some more information on his registration form for you. Other than his name and contact information."

Keep in mind, it’s from an adult, but he lists “SAIF” (our state worker's comp insurance company) under “Parent/Guardian.”

By the word “walk” he writes, “Olympics, too?”

In the line for a donation, he writes “LOVE.”

And some other stuff we can’t read…

Times like this I can't decide if it's a joke or real. Or, as my friend K suggested, the result of lots of marijuana.

But last year, someone signed up for an event with the first name of a major city and the last name that means the equivalent of stinky. So we'll call her St. Paul Stinky. I thought that must be a prank until I found out this was a real person who volunteered at one of our chapters.

This year her sister signed up the entire family and called their team - wait for it - the Stinky Family.

I suppose that's better than the Stinky Feet.

And no, I am not making any of this up! I'm not that creative.  Maybe I would be after lots of marijuana, but that's not my bag.


The Elephant's Child said...

In one of my previous incarnations I had dealings with a divorced woman who insisting on being called 'Mrs Fanny Bog'. Me? I would have reclaimed my maiden name before the door had finished slamming.

LL Cool Joe said...

I think people just throw complete wobblies when they fill in forms, me included. :D

Matt said...

Sounds like some funny things to read at least. Good ol' St. Paul and her stinky family. If she wasn't lying about that, she must have had to suffer through a lot of abuse growing up.

Granny Annie said...

Ima Hogg and Ura Hogg...truth or fiction? Ima Hogg, daughter of governor "Big Jim" Hogg established Hogg Foundation for Mental Health in Austin, Texas. Interesting stories to google.

I did attend school with Ima Cook.

Lynn said...

My grandmother's next door neighbor had the last name of Pugh - Mr. Pugh was her third husband. I said I would have kept my own last name. :)

Here's an odd story involving someone who is also the "second." A woman I go to church with had a stillborn baby and gave him the name they had talked about, which one on his grave. And then her second baby was a boy and they named him that, too - so he had the same name as the dead baby with II tacked on. Nobody gossiped about it, but we did all have the same look when we heard.

Claire said...

The Stinky family. Ha!

Workingdan said...

The stinky family eh? Sucks to be them I must say!

But it doesn't suck to be that cat toking on a fatty!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

The world is full of loony-tunes. Just try to take them at face value while backing away slowly.

Adam said...

I had some weirdo carve random messages in the apples at my store with his fingernail...

Riot Kitty said...

EC: OMG. That is fantastic!
Joey: Hmm, I didn't think about
that. What do you fill in? :)
Matt: I know for sure. Her dad just became a member of our organization!
GA: Ima Hogg is absolutely true. Ura is a Texas myth...we learned this in Texas history in grade school in Houston. Ima Cook! I love it!
L: Wow. For once I have no words. Except, ew.
C: I will e-mail you their real last name, but it's the same as stinky.
WD: My cat finds it's easier to curl up with my pineapple mint plant. No rolling to do, same high!
D: Luckily he lives a couple of hours away. I'm saving the form forever though.
Adam: Seriously!! What kind of messages?

Anonymous said...

I prank call people with funny last names all the time, and I have no excuse for this. I find them in the White Pages. Maybe I should suggest they sign up for events.

G. B. Miller said...

Sadly, no strange last name stories.

However, over the past 8 years, I have seen the end result (yes I'm just that old) of every conceivable naming fad known in America while doing payroll.

These are the top two on my very long list of interesting first names:

1} Unique

2} Kenya

Riot Kitty said...

N: This is why I have an unlisted number ;) Not that I have a funny last name. My real last name isn't Kitty, contrary to what people may think.
G: Oh, I can do an entire post about this. But Unique? Did their parents hate them?

A Beer for the Shower said...

Some people just have too much pride in their last name. Sorry, but if my last name was Stinky, I would have changed that shit a LONG time ago.

My dad once had a doctor named Dr. Fuch. And my dad, being careful, walks in and says, "Oh, hello, Doctor Fyook." The doctor smiles and says, "Oh, no, it's pronounced FUCK. Call me Dr. FUCK."

Needless to say, my dad did not oblige him.

Riot Kitty said...

ABFTS: You just can't make that shit up. But as you have probably guess, I totally would have called him Dr. FUCK!

Anonymous said...

I legit know a guy with the last name "penis," for real. Its fucking strange, and hilarious. I pray for that guy everyday...

Dr. Cynicism said...

I want that LOLcatnip picture on my office door, now!

Riot Kitty said...

C: You have got to be fucking kidding me. Spelled the same way?
Dr C: You can have it ;)