Sunday, March 04, 2012

I will eat them on a boat, on a plane, on a train...

Brownie points if you catch that reference.

I've been debating what to write about, as several issues of national importance have been occupying my mind, and then I thought, fuck it. I am going to write about Girl Scout cookies.

Yes, cookies.

These ingenius little marketers have caught me and my cash three times in the past two weeks. (How many cookies are left? I take the Fifth.)

A couple of years ago, some self-righteous columnist in our local rag wrote about 500 words of filth, chastising the Girl Scouts for selling something as unhealthy as said cookies for a fundraiser. It's not healthy, she said, so they shouldn't do it.

Cookies aren't healthy? No way! Stop the presses! I can't believe it!

That is why, in the words of the idiots who neutered Cookie Monster, "Cookies are a sometimes food." (Hello, he is a Cookie MONSTER, you fools. But that is a debate for another time, and one I have probably had on this blog before.)

So I told the parents of the Girl Scouts who sold me the cookies that the column just made me want to go out and buy more cookies.

And so I have, every spring. Rant over. Nom nom.

25 comments:

middle child said...

Got any ham?

Darth Weasel said...

Hey! who colored my eggs? It is not even "easter" yet...


cookies are extremely healthy. They tend to have a variety of dairy products, and often enough grains or fruits.

Oh, and which is healthier? Cookies, as sold by Girl Scouts, Pepperoni like we used to sell for little league, candy bars as we sold for baseball, or listening to clarinet music for 49 hours straight as the columnist should be forced to do?

Calvin said...

"Girl Scout Cookies? Are they made with real Girl Scouts?" - Did you catch that reference?

Lynn said...

Not to mention it's a decades old tradition. That columnist needs to get a life. Because life without Girl Scout cookies would just be so sad.

Lynn said...

And then the next blog I read featured Girl Scout cookies and the fact that now there's an app for that - the Girl Scout Cookie finder: http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/cookie-finder/id423842630?mt=8

G said...

Oh Sam I Am, the horror!!!

Girl Scout cookies are featured in my last normal post on my picture blog.

Yello Bear sat and posed with a bunch of Girl Scouts and he was so grateful for them letting him do so that he persuaded G to buy a box of cookies (even though he doesn't eat them) for military personnel serving overseas.

A little touch of home is always a good thing.

NellieVaughn said...

I exercise, meditate, and eat well. I will have my cookies if I want. They can be meals. Absolutely.

wigsf3 said...

The Girl Scouts are evil for pushing their decadent little treats. They're like drug dealers, okay. But I don't chastise them for doing it. In the market, there is obviously a demand for their product. If there was no demand, they'd move on to something other than cookies. Something even unhealthier than cookies. Something like barbecue.

Granny Annie said...

Have I told you lately that I love you?

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Girl Scout cookies are deliberately bad for you so that when you have a heart attack from the resulting clogged arteries, a Girl Scout can give you CPR, save your life and earn a merit badge. Sheesh -- I thought everyone knew that!

Riot Kitty said...

MC: And some green eggs! Bravo.
Darth: Excellent idea...
Squirrel: I know it, but I can't think of it! On the tip of my tongue.
L: Yeah, that would definitely cheer her up. And the app! That is hilarious.
G: There was a normal post? :P
NV: Cheers!
WIGSF: I love bbq sauce.
GA: You just did! :)
Debra: Learn something new every day...

Claire said...

I have never tried a Girl Scout cookie, but I've heard the rumours!

Workingdan said...

What? Cookies are bad for you? Is that why the send out cute innocent girls to sell them? I mean if a little innocent girl is selling them then they must be good for you...right?

Riot Kitty said...

Claire: The next time I visit, I will bring some. I think "epic nom" is appropriate.
Dan: I like your logic!

Darth Weasel said...

the "girl scout cookies...are the made from real girl scouts?" may be from other places, but I know it was the line said by the creepy little girl in the Addams Family movie...Wednesday? Thursday? Whatever her name is

John McElveen said...

Ham flavored Green Cookies--Hell yeah I'll taKE TEN BOXES. aNY bACON FLAVORED SUGAR SPRINKLED ONES--PUT ME DOWN FOR A CASE!

iT'S MY hEART--i'LL BYPASS IT IF i WANT TO--WAIT--ALREADY HAVE---pASS THE PLATE!

lOVE YA!

jOHN

See--ya got a CLA outta me--don be messin with cookies. Or Girl Scouts--depending on your age.

G said...

Ummm, yah.

I can write a "normal" post.

Haven't done it in about three years, but I can do it.

I just have to be properly motivated. :D

Insomniac #4 said...

Girl Scout cookies are full of YUM...I wish I knew some Girl Scouts cause I need to get my paws on some Samoas. (love the lolcats pic, btw)

I keep hearing the Cookie Monster crap, that they turned him into 'veggie monster' or something... I'm afraid to read up on it because if it's really true and he has been neutered by some whiny housewives or whatever then I might actually have to agree with the Elephants on something. Long live Cookie Monster! Samoas and Tagalongs for all!

Logical Libby said...

It's better than they days when they used to sell cocaine and porn.

Riot Kitty said...

Darth: Thank you! It had been bugging me not knowing where that came from.
John: As always, you make me laugh! Thanks!
G: Excellent ;)
I#4: Amen!
Libby: Did those get the nod of disapproval? :)

A Beer for the Shower said...

There is a special place in hell reserved for those who detest Samoas...

Riot Kitty said...

ABFTS: That is Mr. RK's favorite.

Shionge said...

I was a Brownie and also a Girl Guide when I was in secondary level (high school for you I think) and if cookies are not healthy there is tons of other food that is likewise.

Balance diet is the key to everything and I say...GO FOR IT...send me some cookies too :D

NellieVaughn said...

Listen, woman, I gave you this very pretty award. the info. is on my latest post. Yeah, you are welcome.

Riot Kitty said...

S: I went for it! An entire box in very little time.
NV: Thanks!!