Wednesday, February 29, 2012

I am a pervert Wednesday

OK, not really, but I thought that would get your attention. Although a couple of times in the past couple of days (maybe it's because I've been sick and I'm sort of out of it?) it has definitely felt like I was living in a sitcom.

Yesterday, one of my normally very grounded event volunteers called after getting back from an Australian vacation.

Him: "I got a tattoo while I was there."
Me: "Really? What did you get?"
Him: "Guess."
Me (totally kidding): "A kangaroo."
Him: "Yes."
Me (can't help it, totally bursts out laughing): "No!" (I mean, this is like visiting Texas and getting a pair of cowboy boots tattooed on your ass, or visiting New York and getting the Statue of Liberty.)
Him: "Yes. And I can show it to you. It's on my shoulder. So I don't have to pull my pants down or anything."

!!!

I have known this person for almost four years, and he has never said anything like this. Perhaps he stumbled into quaaludes by mistake before calling me?

Then this morning, I went to a breakfast event for work. One of my volunteers also went, and we sat together. He didn't know I was a vegetarian, and said, "Oh, you didn't get any sausage, do you want some of mine?" Later on in an e-mail, I started thanking him for offering me his meat, but the more I typed, the worse it sounded.

"Thanks for offering me your sausage this morning..."

"Thanks anyhow for offering me some of your meat..."

Um, no.

How about you? Do you find humor everywhere?

20 comments:

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Double entendre humour is the best kind!

Lynn said...

That kangaroo tat does sound out of character for that guy - how funny!

G said...

Absolutely.

Usually with my co-workers and usually the second after they say the double entendre they say in response to the evil look that instantly spread across my face, "Oh go away!"

Workingdan said...

"Thanks for offering me your sausage." I really hope you didn't send that email! lol

Granny Annie said...

I often ponder how I would avoid conversation with you if we were to ever meet in person:)

Claire said...

I am forever finding double entendres. Which is hilarious, as I'm often surrounded by littlies who understand none of it!

Calvin said...

How about "Thanks for offering me some cancer causing processed food."?

John McElveen said...

Bwahhahahahahaha!

Least the guy didn't go to Penisylvania!

J

A Beer for the Shower said...

I absolutely find humor everywhere. Even in terrible tattoos. Hell, you should see my tramp stamp!

...

Riot Kitty said...

D: I agree!
L: Yes, I was quite surprised.
G: Excellent! Wish you were my co-worker.
WD: Yeah, I decided not to send that. I'm not interested in his sausage!
GA: Haha! Why, do you say perverted things? :)
C: Like when there are adult jokes in "kids'" movies, like The Muppets. Love it!
Squirrel: One of the reasons I'm a vegetarian.
J: True! :)
ABFTS: Seriously? Inquiring minds want to know!

Marnie said...

You've been tagged on my blog. It's painless...I promise :0)

Riot Kitty said...

M: Just saw it! I actually did that meme awhile back...

BamaTrav said...

Was his meat salty???

Mike_D said...

Food Innuendo guy....

Riot Kitty said...

BT: I don't know. I turned it down.
Mike: That sounds like it could be a fun character of some kind...

Darth Weasel said...

Constantly. In fact, it is kind of a running joke...one of the guys at work has two nicknames for me;
\
when I have done work he thinks is good, I am Drewcifer.
When I have done poorly. he calls me Drewsh-bag.

In return, I call him T-bag.

If you know our names, it is much funnier...

And hardly the only things said in that office of that nature.

Riot Kitty said...

Darth: I wouldn't expect anything less ;)

Logical Libby said...

He could have pulled down his pants anyway... I mean, just to be polite.

Shockgrubz said...

Almost everywhere. There are a few places that are set aside for strict seriousness. Those spots are very rare, though.

Riot Kitty said...

Libby: No no no! He's my dad's age.
SG: Excellent.