Thursday, August 11, 2011

More reasons I'm glad I'm not dating

So one of my friends decided to try a free online dating site.

Some of the guys who messaged her include:

Guy #1. His message to my friend: "So I keep bubble wrap under my mattress, so when I'm doing it, it sounds like fireworks are going off! Isn't that cool?"

Guy #2-10 (estimates) - Can't write proper English. I don't mean ESL - I mean they would flunk first-grade spelling tests. No one wants to get wicha, y'know?

Guy #11. His message to my friend: "So FYI, I have the stomach flu. This doesn't mean you have to wrap yourself in foil, you can't get it through the computer."

Um. Needless to say she didn't write any of these guys back...stomach flu man sent her eight other messages in about 10 minutes after she blocked him.

"Why aren't you responding? Hmm, I guess I'll have to keep trying to figure it out and maybe I'll never know..."

That's OK. The fact that he doesn't know speaks volumes!

My friend did meet someone nice - so far. I'll be back with a full report soon.


John McElveen said...

RK_ I sooo needed this laugh! Sorry I have been a Crappy friend. Real life stuff. But I did miss you and I hope to be back a little more often. You are one of a kind my friend, and I so appreciate you!



Anonymous said...

The key to meeting the right person is to get set up by an Indian couple. They just get it.

Granny Annie said...

I only know I'm putting bubble wrap under the mattress.....

Lynn said...

Yes - I found out how many crazy men there are out there when I did that online dating thing. :) Never again.

A Beer for the Shower said...

She found a nice guy, eh? Wait until she gets a load of his scheisse porn collection.

Riot Kitty said...

John: Happy to oblige! Hang in there.
WIGSF: I'll let her know ;)
L: That's how I found my crazy man, actually. But there were many duds (offline) before that.
ABFTS: I'm just waiting for that shoe to drop.

Darth Weasel said...

I put firecrackers under the mattress so she can feel something.

hey, where did she go?

G said...

Again, I got that Cream song ramblin' thru my head:

"Strange brew, kills whats inside of you."

Riot Kitty said...

G: HAHA! I love that song.

ileana said...

That fireworks guy was just trying to be funny, right? OMG!

Like you, I'm glad I'm not dating. Hope your amiga actually did find a genuinely nice guy...and that he stays a nice guy!

Anonymous said...

great post. I am also enjoying the wonderful perks of a single life.

Lemons Don't Make Lemonade said...

I think those guys are HILARIOUS. In a creepy weird way. You know what? I just might try an online dating site sometime.

Darth Weasel said...

Ileana, yes, that was the was a reference to the bubble wrap guy

Riot Kitty said...

Ily: Apparently he was serious!
TB: LOL, does that include bubblewrap?
LDML: I think you have to be 18 to do that ;)
Darth: :)

George said...

The bubblewrap idea... I'm going to use this for an elaborate prank I think :) If you got time - I'm new so appreciate it if someone has a look :)