Saturday, January 17, 2009
I promised Joey that I would share this fish story - which is a TRUE story - after his hilarious post about underwear and fish food.
When the older of my younger brothers was in college in Connecticut, he drove across the country to stay with my family on winter and summer breaks in California, rather than fly.
This is an important detail because three fish might not have met their untimely deaths had he flown instead...ok, just kidding about that part. What is a "timely" death for a fish anyway?
So my bro, N, is in line at the grocery store, probably buying snacks, on the day before he drives back to Connecticut. He makes a last-minute impulse buy of a package of three live fish.
No, I am not making this up. Why, you may ask, is a grocery store selling live fish in the checkout aisle? I don't know.
Somehow, said fish - whom he named Gunther, Hans and - hell, I have forgotten the third fish's name, so let's call him fish # 3 - survived the cross-country road trip in a bag of water, and back to my brother's dorm.
N is often forgetful. Guess who quickly forgot to feed the fish?
He didn't realize how forgetful he had been until one day, upon returning to his room, he noticed that Gunther had gone missing.
He looked outside of the tank, to see if it had jumped out; he looked in the tank (obviously), and couldn't find a body.
The remaining two fish were bigger than Gunther. N felt bad, but he realized that they had gone without food for so long, they had eaten him. Not a gill remained.
Of course for the next week or two, N felt really bad and actually fed Hans and fish # 3.
Then, being forgetful, well, he forgot to feed them again.
One day, he came back to his room and Hans was missing.
He searched all of the places he had searched before, but he came to the conclusion that, as fish # 3 was bigger than Hans, he had eaten him.
(I swear that I am not making this up. Strange things tend to happen in my family.)
Predictably, N felt bad again, and resumed remembering to feed his remaining fish, fish # 3.
And equally predictably, N forgot to feed him, and one day he came home to fish # 3 floating belly-up in his tank.
Amazingly enough, N is now the part-time caretaker of my little brother and sister. He does much better with people, I guess.