Thursday, January 29, 2009
And now it gets ugly
We lost half of our four-person office today - not because of the economy, but because our previous two executive directors had their heads up their asses and there was no fundraising plan.
You see how much difference one person can make...
I was spared the ax because I am, among other things, a fundraiser. I have a devotion to my job because of the cause we work for - mental health funding and awareness - and I think that didn't hurt, either.
So I was asked to come in late this a.m. by my boss, who was really unhappy that he had to do this. He said he was hoping to write some grants and bring people back once there was funding.
One coworker, M, was just fine - even changed her e-mail tagline to "X Program Coordinator." She said she'll be fine financially and is helping us figure out where to go from here...
C, who in my opinion had a much smaller role (and liked to take about a dozen cell phone calls a day and 2 hour lunches on occasion, and plain didn't get back to me about stuff when she didn't feel like it) came in late, so I was already there when she got the news.
She came out of the meeting with my boss and made some nasty comments about him "protecting his own" (e.g. me) and spent the afternoon slamming and banging things around, refusing to talk to me.
I just cried - I couldn't help it. I mean, I feel gutted about them both losing their jobs. I considered them both friends.
I felt like going up to her and shaking her and saying, "Hey! Cut it out! It's not my fault!"
This is a person I have driven home when her mental health issues prevented her from doing so, safely, on her own.
This is a person I intervened for and stuck up for when a volunteer got in her face and threatened her, and she wouldn't stick up for herself.
It's all so ugly. I sort of feel betrayed, on top of the catatonic ugliness I felt when I found out about the layoffs.
I'm just glad that both of their partners are employed and they'll be OK. I hope she doesn't stay mad at me.
And honestly I'm still confused.
My boss said, "Don't take it personally...you know, when we're upset, we want to strike out at someone."
I don't get it. I don't do that. Plenty of people have pissed me off, but with REASON!
The only funny thing about today - I had brought in hazelnut soy creamer for coffee, and near the little plastic screw-on cap, it said, "Unscrew and get nutty!"
Words to live by...