Thursday, January 29, 2009

And now it gets ugly

We lost half of our four-person office today - not because of the economy, but because our previous two executive directors had their heads up their asses and there was no fundraising plan.

You see how much difference one person can make...

I was spared the ax because I am, among other things, a fundraiser. I have a devotion to my job because of the cause we work for - mental health funding and awareness - and I think that didn't hurt, either.

So I was asked to come in late this a.m. by my boss, who was really unhappy that he had to do this. He said he was hoping to write some grants and bring people back once there was funding.

One coworker, M, was just fine - even changed her e-mail tagline to "X Program Coordinator." She said she'll be fine financially and is helping us figure out where to go from here...

C, who in my opinion had a much smaller role (and liked to take about a dozen cell phone calls a day and 2 hour lunches on occasion, and plain didn't get back to me about stuff when she didn't feel like it) came in late, so I was already there when she got the news.

She came out of the meeting with my boss and made some nasty comments about him "protecting his own" (e.g. me) and spent the afternoon slamming and banging things around, refusing to talk to me.

I just cried - I couldn't help it. I mean, I feel gutted about them both losing their jobs. I considered them both friends.

I felt like going up to her and shaking her and saying, "Hey! Cut it out! It's not my fault!"

This is a person I have driven home when her mental health issues prevented her from doing so, safely, on her own.

This is a person I intervened for and stuck up for when a volunteer got in her face and threatened her, and she wouldn't stick up for herself.

It's all so ugly. I sort of feel betrayed, on top of the catatonic ugliness I felt when I found out about the layoffs.

I'm just glad that both of their partners are employed and they'll be OK. I hope she doesn't stay mad at me.

And honestly I'm still confused.

My boss said, "Don't take it know, when we're upset, we want to strike out at someone."

I don't get it. I don't do that. Plenty of people have pissed me off, but with REASON!

The only funny thing about today - I had brought in hazelnut soy creamer for coffee, and near the little plastic screw-on cap, it said, "Unscrew and get nutty!"

Words to live by...


Shionge said...

I am so sorry that people are losing their jobs and yes I cried too when fellow colleagues have to go due to this terrible economic crisis.

Being a union leader, it has never been easy to face a member telling them right in the face that you are next. What really upsets me is when they leave, they have forgotten that I am still very much their friend but they leave with so much hatred ;(

I hope you are feeling better now RK and yes, it is not you. It is the situation everyone is facing now.

Big HUGz sending your way :D

Scarlet said...

That sucks...all of it (except the screwy, nutty part at the end).

I know what it feels like to stick your neck out for someone and have that person turn on you for the slightest thing. Although losing their jobs is a HUGE thing (I know what that feels like as well), it's not fair that they take it out on YOU.

I can see how you'd be pissed off, hurt and worried (about your losing your job as well). You've done more than enough for these two and there's nothing more you can do. Sometimes we have to let people go or give them time.

I hope you have a better day tomorrow!

Darth Weasel said...

shouldn't is say "screw and get nutty"? you knew SOMEONE had to go there...

I know, cheap laugh in a tough situation but sometimes there are no wise words. Glad you survived it, hopefully C gets past it and when all is said and done friendship remains.

LL Cool Joe said...

It's going to be a very tough year. Here in the UK people are losing their jobs left, right and centre. Of course this always brings the worst out in people too. No, it's not your fault that they lost their jobs and you didn't, but people are always looking for someone to blame when things go wrong.

Hope you feel better about the situation soon R Kitty.

Green tea said...

Some people strike out at those closest to them, it sucks though.

JLee said...

It is so sad. I felt guilty when the woman who had been here 26 years got laid off. There were a lot of tears around here. It's pretty quiet these days. But regardless, I'm glad you're still employed :)

Claire said...

oh it sucks that she lashed out at you honey! I mean, I get why she's angry, but it seems totally misdirected.

Scary times.


Granny Annie said...

Why, why, why is it always someone you've gone the extra mile for? Too bad but all you can do is move on.