Tuesday, January 23, 2007

She was obviously never a kid

Here's an open letter (ha! If only I could send it before he changes schools) to my little brother's teacher:

Dear Mrs. Bitch:

I'd really like to know why people like you, who seem to dislike children, become educators. Why do you assign three and four hours of homework every night to fourth graders? Were you never a child? Do you, like the principal in Uncle Buck, want 10-year-olds who "take their career as a student seriously"?

You dumb bitch. You have completely changed my little brother, who used to love school, who used to love putting on his school uniform. You have made him into someone who hates school and hates YOU. And who can blame him? Your stringent belief from the get-go, when he was struggling with your college-load homework, that he wasn't up to par - actually, he's quite smarter than you - and your unwillingness to help any child who falls behind your huge workload is simply wrong.

When it comes to the assignments these poor kids have to do, apparently you have a markdown system that involves nicking points here, there and everywhere, at every available moment, and content means nothing to you. You're obviously not very creative, and don't value creativity. No, you're more into creating future bureaucrats with no imagination, aren't you? You probably talk about test scores during sex.

If you get any.

For that matter, how did a ramrod bitch like you even get a partner? Did you critique your future husband's proposal? Did he pass? By how many points? I'm surprised he hasn't tried to poison you since then.

I can't imagine my brother is the only smart, disappointed kid who now dreads Mondays. I hope you're happy with yourself. In the meantime, I can't wait until the school year is over. Hopefully he won't have a bitch like you for a teacher next year.

Yours truly,
An older sister

PS I know your real name isn't Bitch. I actually find it hilarious that your last name is Old, and the principal's last name is Grapes. That's something I couldn't have made up.

1 comment:

Darth Weasel said...

it is unfortunate the impact things like overeager or underinterested instructors, advertising, and so forth has on the scholastic potential of the U.S. youth. People are so into "environmental impact" when studying what causes poverty and crime...how about "setting the expectation that school will be the worst 12 years of their life...and then we wonder why the schools suck. hmmm....