This is a Seussy ode to one such person who shall remain nameless, except to be known as the Bitch of Vancouver. This person tried to control the seating at an event of mine that she wasn't even attending - the day before it - among other things. Enjoy.
Dear Bitchface -
There is no time for sentiment,
You aren't controlling my event!
I'm so tired of your bleating,
trying to control the seating.
You can't rearrange a chair
if you fucking won't be there!
You never do respond
until crisis and beyond.
You blame things on your staff,
but it's really simple math.
Your inbox is jam packed,
and you really should be smacked!
You're really quite a pain -
you point fingers and complain,
claiming others shirk,
while you don't do any work.
It won't be quite so funny
when your group runs out of money.
But then you'll probably blame us,
throw up your hands, and fuss.
The character that suits you best?
The green-faced Wicked Witch of the West.
Is it triggered by dementia
that you complain in absentia?
So go ahead and whine,
and if you find this post unkind,
I think you're a miserable hag,
and I won't be left holding the bag!
16 comments:
I think most of us have come across one of those. Generally with those who practise suck skills for success hanging firmly attached. And also a pain.
Good luck.
I was just thinking about you a day or so ago and now see that I missed a post. Well, welcome back. Sorry you have to deal with so many difficult people. Hang in there!
I bet it felt good to get that off your chest! Hail Poetry!
Well, that's telling her...in more than a nutshell!! Good for you! :)
Oh I had a lot of folks I could have shared this with before my retirement. Excellent Riot Kitty! Excellent. If I was still in the corporate world I would print this off and place on several desks anonymously. LOL!!
Haha. I love the way she tried to control the seating arrangements when she wasn't even going to be at the event. Sounds like my mother.
Glad you got that off your chest!
Not happy to hear that you've been being bothered-happy to read that lovely poem! It felt relieving just to read it... I think I shall rant myself soon. Thank you for the inspiration :o)
Beautifully and eloquently stated. Sadly, being a guv'ment worker entitles me to have such people 24/7 at my job. And those people have issues accepting the word "no".
I Are Writer!
Amazing poetry! Just pour water on her and wait for the screams as she melts into oblivion.
Ha! This should be a book, complete with illustrations! Sorry you have to deal with BF. I have a couple of control freaks in my life, and I try to feel sorry for them.
Sounds like some coworkers I have known. :)
You may have insulted the green-faced Wicked Witch of the West. The Bitch of Vancouver... somehow I like the sound of that. Maybe it's the image of you smacking her....
Pure poetry. Seuss would be proud. Or maybe not.
And hey, maybe the next time she does this and she IS there you can make her seat a rusted toilet. Too obvious?
I love it!!! :)
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