Sunday, March 06, 2016

People I would like to tell to fuck off

No, a complete list cannot fit in this very small space.

I'm sorry for the long absences. Mr. RK and I are getting divorced. Although it is the right thing, it sucks. I have slept well about one night in 2016, which makes it difficult to do just about anything else that isn't absolutely necessary.

We're very lucky to have awesome friends who are like adopted family supporting us through this - and to those of you who are reading this now, big hugs from Oregon.

To the random people who know us only peripherally and have been giving us advice, two words: FUCK OFF! And to the people who have started flirting (or worse), you can fuck YOURSELVES.

And a few questions.

1. I'm the same person I was a few months ago. Why do you (guys) think it's suddenly appropriate to A. Flat out ask me to sleep with you, or B. Start paying me lots of attention and think I won't figure out why?

2. Why is it that suddenly some of you people (even ones who are currently in shitty relationships) see fit to give personal advice? I have been told A. To never give up! (As if two consenting adults realizing that they will be much happier apart than together, even though it will be temporarily very painful, is giving up or taking the easy way out.) B. To not start dating immediately, but stay home and be celibate. I should just tell all of these people I have a very expensive/very effective vibrator. (Yes, when it comes to those, you definitely get what you pay for.) C. Generally insert opinions where they are not wanted, when they have not been invited. (I can think of a place they can be inserted, let me tell you.)

3. Religious relatives emailing me and telling me why there is, in their opinion, a Biblical justification for the split (even though I am not a Christian and not their brand of evangelical) when I didn't ask.

4. Religious relatives offering vitamin supplements to help the stress go away. (No, I am not making this up.)

I miss everyone in the blogging community. It has just been a struggle to do the basics (work, daily obligations) and try to make sure everyone involved comes out intact. I will visit as soon as I get unburied from some of this load.

Yours truly,

RK

18 comments:

LL Cool Joe said...

Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear that you and Mr RK are getting a divorce. No advice from me at all, so I won't piss you off, just sending good wishes to you. I hope you get to sleep. Lack of sleep sucks.

Elephant's Child said...

There is a reason so many cultures have used sleep deprivation as torture. It is.
Hang in as best you can. Blister the air (and people's hides) when you need to. Weep when and if you need to.
Hugs.

Lynn said...

So sorry, my friend. And unwanted, unnecessary advice is the worst. I had the same kind of thing happen when I got divorced.

Granny Annie said...

People who give advice have most often never walked in your shoes. Hang in there friend.

Lee said...

It is a complex time you're going through full of complex emotions. I've been through it...and when anyone tried (operative word "tried") to give me advice I told them in no uncertain terms to "Fuck off!" - because it was none of their bloody business.

I dealt with it my way; as I am sure you are and will in your own way; in your own time, RK. It has nothing to do with anyone else other than you and Mr. RK. I wish you both all the very best.

Charles Gramlich said...

My eyebrow is firmly arched. I feel a very Spockish response coming on to the shenanigans that you have been experiencing. "Fascinating!" Unpleasantly so.

Cheryl said...

Sorry to hear the news. I know you are a smart person so you don't need other people telling your what or what not to do. I, also think you are justified in telling people to fuck off if they are offering unsolicited advice or unwanted propositions. Just know that if you need to vent, or talk or need a virtual hug..I am just an email away.

Take care and get some sleep.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Oh no, sorry to hear you are going through such a painful time, dear Riot Kitty. Sending hugs and best wishes to you! And speaking of vibrators, we just invested a small fortune in a marvel of German technological engineering. We call her "Angela" in homage to that sexpot Angela Merkel, LOL. Ja ja ja!

PapaEcho said...

Hugs from me and my family, I'm sorry but that's all we have x

A Beer For The Shower said...

We're both really sorry to hear this, and we're here if you need someone to bitch to. Rest assured we won't offer you any advice, as we're both idiots, nor will we offer you vitamins, as we are woefully undernourished as it is.

Hang in there.

OldLady Of The Hills said...

Oh, my dear. I am so sorry you are going through these difficult times. No advice---but do know, if you feel like venting, talking, laughing or crying, I am a phone call away. Sending you Big Big Hugs, my dear dear RK. And I hope you get some sleep when you can.

G. B. Miller said...

Be rest assured that I have never, will never, offer advice such as what you eloquently described (vitamins? Really? Really?), only observations based on information given.

Beyond that, you know that my door is forever open, the micro-beer is always cold and the food is always hot.

George

Blue Grumpster said...

Been there. Done that. So absolutely no advice from me. It sucks and that about sums it up. A Biblical justification for the split? Jesus Christ.

lotta joy said...

The best piece of advise I was EVER offered was the following: I was at the firehouse, looking lost and forlorn when a firefighter sat down beside me (which was a shock since this particular person and I were not close). He said "Why are you so sad?" I said "Because I gave up and stopped trying" He said "When did your husband stop trying?" I was shocked, because I had to think before I honestly answered: "He never did try."

Then he said "Your only mistake was 'you should have given up sooner'." OMG I needed that and, 15 years later, it is still the rock I stand on.

If people want to believe their invisible friend in the sky cares if you're married or not, fuck 'em.

Abby said...

I'm catching up on a few blogs and sorry to hear you're going through this, RK. I don't have any advice to give, just friendship.

CraveCute said...

So sorry to hear this dear. No advice... just a big old hug and some warm wishes...

Susan English Mason said...


I think it is the Tinder hook-up culture. Maybe respond with: Go to Tinder A-hole.

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi RK - I wondered what was happening .. but it's good to see you back - the blogging community give us cheery thoughts even when life is challenging ...

All the very best for you ... take care - I'm not doing the A-Z: one of those 'life' things ... all well - just need to get out the other side ... so you look after you ... and we're around - with thoughts and hugs - Hilary