Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Writer's block SUCKS

It's not that I haven't wanted to write, or haven't had things to write about...it is the dreaded...

So I'll just give you my odds and ends.
  •  A new insult from girls' night out, for future bumper stickers to slap on the cars of exes: "He's small, AND he doesn't call!" (This was dreamed up by my single friends. I have already told Mr. RK that God forbid anything happens to him, or one day he decides that he prefers men, I'm never dating again.) 
  •  Has it occurred to anyone that Donald Trump has some serious mental health issues? I work at an advocacy agency and we were analyzing his symptoms the other day.
  • A local bakery that refused to sell a cake to a gay couple for their wedding claims they broke the law for religious reasons (never mind that Jesus said not to judge, apparently they don't read their own Bibles), but apparently they have no problems making cakes for divorce parties, a pagan solstice festival, an out-of-wedlock baby, or a stem cell research grant celebration. Oh, and they got pissed off at the newspaper that reported this. Hello, McFly! These people should buy their own island of assholity (is that a word? It is now) and open a shop called Cakes for Bigots Like Us. And then they can have their cake and eat it too!
  • One of the participants in a training I took this week pissed me off to high heaven. A friend said, "Take pity on her, for self-centered people are miserable." I said, "I can't use up pity on her!" Methinks she doth pissed me off too much.
  • I found out the reason that driving is so fucked up around here (meaning roads, not drivers - I haven't found an explanation for that): instead of being laid out on a grid, Oregon's road and street system is based on old trails. I kid you not. And you thought *your* municipality had it backwards.
  • My cats are sexist - they won't play with girls. Apparently boys are playmates and I am only fit for cuddles and feeding them. I thought they might cave while Mr. RK was on his business trip, but instead, they only played with a visiting brother.
  • My friend works in a pharmacy and has the funniest stories. My favorite one so far was from a patient picking up a prescription for Ambien: "My husband hates it when I take this, because we have sex and I never remember it!"

I told her she should start a blog.

20 comments:

Elephant's Child said...

Love your odds and sods.
You have a way with words. I am pretty certain I would happily read your shopping lists.
And, if anything happens to the smaller portion, I am soooo not entering the dating scene. I will become an unashamed mad cat lady. With books and garden.

LL Cool Joe said...

I really couldn't go back to the days of dating. Watching my 2 girls going through it at the moment has only confirmed my thoughts on the subject.

Maybe you are trying to play with your cats in the wrong way? Or maybe you are just too cuddly to resist? ;)

Blogoratti said...

Interesting thoughts no doubt and nice odds and ends.
Writer's block...been there too. And your friend should indeed start a blog. Greetings!

Charles Gramlich said...

Not sure why the husband is concerned. At least he gets sex, eh?

OldLady Of The Hills said...

GREAT Odds & Ends, my dear! I LOVE your new word---assholity----and plan to use it, the first chance I get---giving you credit, of course!
About 'The Donald'----I think you are Spot-On!
Give your Cats a big big Hug, for me....!
As to 'dating'.....I'm glad I'm not young anymore.....lol!

Lynn said...

Your odds and ends are fun! If Donald Trump wins, I'm going to have to move to another country, I think.

Birdie said...

My city is not laid out in a grid either. It used to be a mining town and the streets are like spokes on a wheel with the centre being downtown. Obviously streets have been added making it more confusing.

Glad that you posted even with writer's block. :-)

Elephant's Child said...

PS: Pity people in old Delhi trying to find a house number. I was told that for quite a long time houses were numbered in the order they were built (leaving out inauspicious numbers).

HBF said...

I swear our old cat Millie was a woman-hater... yet, she was a girl cat. Twisted that one. Only liked the hubbo! Although, in her defense* she bit and scratched everyone equally :)

G. B. Miller said...

If anything, I hate inconsistency in beliefs.

Seriously.

You already know my viewpoints about bakeries and the law in progressive states like Oregon, but if you're gonna do the "it's against my religious beliefs to bake a cake for same sex marriages", at least have the moose testicles to be consistent with that belief.

Don't be quoting that, then do all the stuff that you just eloquently pointed out. Makes you look like a hypocrite.

Stick to your guns and take it like a man (or woman). You may not win any friends (lots of enemies and enemas) but you'll score a few points for standing up for your principles.

Father Nature's Corner

Lee said...

Re the latter one...the pharmacy customer probably has a blog but has forgotten it's name.

Try Leggos instead of writer's blocks. ;)

agg79 said...

Yea, Lately I've had a bit of writer's block as well. So much drama going on but just cannot find the right words to make it sound funny/interesting.

As for the Donald, I find the whole kerfuffle funny. The man is a walking reality show. Sort of like Honey Boo-Boo combined with Jersey Shore and the Housewives of wherever. I am just waiting for him to tell someone "You're Fired!".

Vanessa Morgan said...

That last one is very funny.
And I'm starting to believe that all cats are sexist in some way.

Abby said...

Okay, I seriously had thoughts on every one of your points, but now I'm just laughing at the Ambien taker!

There is a similar "don't bake no gay cakes!" bakery in Denver. Sigh...

We used to live in Utah, but the Stepford/Mormons just drove me nuts. I gotta say, though - they knew how to lay out a road system!

Donald Trump - yes, it's occurred to me.

Granny Annie said...

Thank god that I can remember sex because that's all I have right now. Such sweet memories.

Granny Annie said...

Thank god that I can remember sex because that's all I have right now. Such sweet memories.

Senorita said...

I do think Trump is a royal asshole. However, I do not think he has mental issues, I just think his moves are highly calculated, he knows what he is doing, and he is getting all of the reactions he knew he would be getting. Unfortunately, he has gotten so much publicity from his stunts, and any publicity is better than none. And he didn't have to pay for any of it ! Most of what he has done has benefitted him. He has already fallen before and come back stronger than before, and I don't think this time will be any different. He irritates me because he is a royal douchecanoe, but his efforts are ultimately being rewarded :(

A Beer For The Shower said...

I second that 'assholity' should be a word. First nomination? Donald Trump.

Also, one of my cats is deathly afraid of women. Not sure what the bitch that used to own her used to do to the poor cat, but I'm the only one in the house she'll cozy up to. My wife walks nearby, and she bolts. My cohort comes over to visit, and she comes running to him. Cohort's wife shows up, and the cat hides under the couch.

Claire said...

My friends' dating stories are one part hilarious, one part chilling, one part WTF, with occasional bright spots. It's a strange old world out there....

Blue Grumpster said...

Donald Trump has some serious mental health issues? No kidding.

So she has sex and doesn't remember a thing? Maybe that's a blessing in disguise. Just saying.