Monday, July 06, 2015

How to legalize drugs without making any sense (or cents)

Lo and behold, marijuana became legal in my state last week. Yet as with everything that follows a citizens' ballot initiative, the bureaucracy has to take time to catch up.

So get this (and this is all true - I don't have enough patience to invent something so nonsensical):

Marijuana is legal to possess (in certain quantities, depending on whether you're at home or in public), to smoke (in some places and if you're 21 and over), and grow (ditto on quantities and age.)

However,  you can't buy it yet, unless you've got a medical marijuana card (medical marijuana was legal for several years here before last fall's ballot measure passed, making marijuana legal. Also, it is worth noting that more people turned in votes on the measure than cast votes for governor.)
 In what other metro area would the police department post a graphic like this on Twitter? And who the hell is that little clay guy? Do I have to get stoned to figure that out?

The state's new bureau of marijuana has not yet set up a system of stores. God forbid you let private enterprise do it; all hard liquor sales are controlled by the state here - sort of like Communism, but without the bribery handshake - and they're the agency in charge of sorting out pot.

So, you think, can we drive 20 minutes and buy it legally in Washington, and smoke it there, or bring it back here? No. Because that would be trafficking, according to federal law, which still makes marijuana illegal. (You don't have to be stoned to be confused about this.)
At any rate, our local rag published a guide to the new law AND a guide to growing. I kid you not. The same company that owns this paper is opposed to raising the minimum wage, but they must instinctively know, on some level, where their bread is buttered.

So in effect what we have is a kind of de facto amnesty law. You are allowed to possess plants and the dried stuff for smoking, and the oils (I think that's what is used, but I haven't ever baked anything illegal - I have enough trouble preventing legal recipes from catching on fire) used to make food that can make you high. And how, I ask, do you get this stuff? You can get it as a gift.

Yes, really. So in essence, you have to have a friend who probably dabbles in illegal drug sales or purchasing give you legal pot.

There are some things about this state that are so fucking backward, I don't know why I'm surprised.

Maybe everyone started smoking before they wrote the new laws.

23 comments:

Elephant's Child said...

Oh dear. And group houses have to have less than sixteen partaking adults if they are to stay legal.
Someone wasn't thinking. You could be right about the smoking while working theory. Check and see whether snack food sales in the area went up exponentially...

Blogoratti said...

Yes that sounds quite confusing indeed.

Granny Annie said...

It does not take much to confuse me. These day I am on some pretty strong drugs and only want to reach a place where I can STOP taking them. I don't think we are going to have to look a legal marijuana in Oklahoma for quite a while.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

"I have enough trouble preventing legal recipes from catching on fire" -- hahahahahaha, great line!

Charles Gramlich said...

I see the bureaucrats here dragging their heels on everything, from MJ to gay marriage. It's so ridiculous. They just won't obey the laws.

CraveCute said...

Isn't this all so confusing. That's why there should be Federal laws that are the same in these situations. Because everyone travels so much now, it's ridiculous to have to know what the different laws are in all 50+ states! Here we have legal Medical Marijuana... but the laws seems to still be a mess... It was the same before the Marriage Equality Act, married in one state, not in the next...

Rock Chef said...

"OK, we can make it legal but we can still make it virtually impossible for you to smoke it legally!"

Is it legal to buy the seeds?

Lynn said...

That boggles the mind - it would be easier to just not smoke it or possess it. :)

Birdie said...

That little clay guy confuses me. I still have no idea how much pot is in each picture. How about showing it near something we all know, like a quarter?

Vanessa Morgan said...

That doesn't make any sense. Where I live it's illegal, but almost everyone I know seems to be buying and smoking it.

G. B. Miller said...

I think I offered my two cents about this earlier, but this simply helps Oregon keeps it sterling reputation as the most unique state on the West Coast.

LL Cool Joe said...

What the hell is that clay figure all about on the graphic? I have no idea if weed is legal or illegal where I live here in the UK. Having watched my hairdresser going from a being a normal kind of guy to a paranoid pervert since he's been smoking it every night, I wouldn't touch it anyway. I'd rather poison myself to death with booze.

OldLady Of The Hills said...

The laws about Weed seem all so crazy. It's not legal in the US but it IS legal in certain states. Like that Cat...WHAT???
I love the way you write about stuff----always so funny and I love the fact that you always tell us some crazy incredible strange ironies....lol!

Senorita said...

I live in Florida and legalizing marijuana was almost passed. Almost. I think it lost by a percentage. The whole thing is confusing, and I think we would profit so much more by legalizing it, and our police force would have more time to pursue more violent crimes such as rape and murder.

Mike_D said...


I'm not a fan of the legalization. I found it just makes people stupid. Hey, if it can make people in pain feel better, just keep it with them. Man, I do not sound like a member of my generation.

Get off my lawn, you damn whippersnappers!

Mike_D said...


Oh, and legal recipes on fire? That line is going to be my quote of the week....

A Beer For The Shower said...

And now, somehow, all I can think of is this.

Abby said...

Really? The police department posted that PSA?
Here in Colorado, recreational pot has been legal for a while, but there's still plenty of confusion on what's legal and what's not. I don't really follow it because I'm not a stoner, but I've heard that shop owners can't have bank accounts and have to do all their business (and pay all that tax revenue) in cash because the feds don't allow "drug dealers" to have bank accounts. Wait... what?

klahanie said...

Hey Riot Kitty,

"Lo and behold, marijuana became legal in my state last week" Far out and in my state, marijuana became legal back in the mid seventies when the guy smoking through a gas mask was an off duty RCMP officer.

I did read your post, but having trouble reading it through this haze of smoke...*cough!* *cough!*

Gary..............

Furry Bottoms said...

are you kidding me?! I can't step out of doors without seeing a marijuana store anymore. And not all of them are legal. They just shut down 150 stores because they were not licensed. And that is in my area alone. People think they can get away with crap... and I guess usually they can but. I am not against marijuana-- just don't use it with the intent to harm. Most don't. And I don't like the stuff myself, it makes me forget how to breathe. So, if you do come up here and buy some greens, make sure its a legal place!

I do have to say... crime has come down a great deal, but police brutality has gone up. Maybe our cops need some of these greens of their own...

Madilyn Quinn said...

Hah, fun. This is absolutely not a surprise to me. Government aims to confuse/make things harder than necessary. *shrug* I don't smoke anyway, so this doesn't effect me any, but... congrats?

Granny Annie said...

It seems very confusing in all the states that have legalized pot. The television specials make it appear to be a very lucrative business. I am glad to be back and see you still in action. As soon as I am off my pain pills I will be 100%.

Blue Grumpster said...

It all makes perfect sense. If you're a rednosed bureaucrat. I just hate the smell of it.