Saturday, May 17, 2014

The rant you've been waiting for

Here it is. And it's also my 900th post. Yay, me! That's a lot of rants.

First off, thank you for the financial and moral support for me, my cause, and my event. A couple of people have asked where to donate. Thank you - here is the link.

Now, the fun begins. Here are some real questions I've been asked at the last minute/situations I've encountered, along with the answers I would like to have given. Oh, and after a week of gorgeous, sunny weather, it's supposed to rain - and maybe have thunderstorms - tomorrow. I can't wait until this is over.
Q: Hey, RK, I'd like to come to the event tomorrow. What do I do?
A: Well, seeing as how you had to look at a website to get my contact info - and that website also had EVERY FUCKING DETAIL ABOUT THE EVENT on it - maybe you should be more concerned about, say, successfully tying your shoes on the way there. Wait, there's velcro.

Q: Hey, RK! I will bombard you with questions even though I am admittedly not good with computers, but insisted on setting up a web page for my team and one for myself. Then I'll ignore every response you give me, and ask the question again, in hopes of getting you to do my work for me.
A: Clearly you can't read, which makes me wonder: how did you go online and set this up in the first place?

Q: Hey, RK, I heard there was a big event the same day. What are the road closures?
A: My real answer was, "Please refer to the FAQ I sent, as well as the email I sent yesterday to everyone registered to participate." My preferred but silent answer: You know what? This is the third fucking time you've asked me a question that has been answered in an email I sent you right off the bat! And the third time I've asked you to read the damn FAQ!
Q: (from the same person): Hey RK, do you provide transportation to and from your event for 50 people from my small down two hours away?
A: Unlike every other walk - most of which have much more staffing and funding than we do - why yes, we do! Would you also like breakfast in bed? What would you like your breakfast tray made out of?

Q: (To my saintly volunteer): Where is the starting line?
A: He gave her the answer. Two minutes later,  she calls back and says, "You don't know what you're talking about. Tell RK the starting line is under the bridge." Right. Six years but hey, I don't know where the starting line is for my own event. Come to think of it, it starts in the river. We'll meet you there.

Q: (Comment actually) It was too crowded last year. There were too many people and too many dogs.
A: Well, instead of trying to encourage participation and make a statement that our cause matters, I'll just ask people to stay home. Then you can have all the space you need.

Q: (Comment from the same person): The band wasn't playing when my team finished the loop last year.
A: We're so sorry about that. This year, they'll stay an extra hour and personally serenade you. How's that?

Although - I had a good vent with a buddy who does this event in another state. One of her participants really takes the cake. "There should be more trees at the event. You know, for shade."

Plant! Start planting! Plant faster!!


Elephant's Child said...

First and foremost: 900 posts? Wow - that is dedication.
Your rants, and the moggies you illustrate them with, always brighten my day/mood.
And I really, really admire your ability to swallow your tongue and NOT give those people the answers they deserve. Though Saint Riot Kitty doesn't sound quite right...

LL Cool Joe said...

Saint R K indeed.

I must remember to email you and start it with "Hey RK ..." Oh maybe I do that anyway.

The more trees statement just cracked me up. Yep get planting.

Scarlet said...

Plant faster! lol Sometimes I wonder if they're not just being sarcastic or trying to be funny but that would be giving them a huge benefit of the doubt. Nah, I think they're just clueless. I can't wait til you're that old lady who says everything on her mind without a filter. I want to be your roommate at the ALF. :)

OldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL....And Grrrrrr, ALL at the same time. Having done many many "events" for many many years, I am always amazed and exasperated at how truly stupid people are.....OY VEY!!!!! You are a Saint, my dear....It gets harder and harder not to scream at these people.....!
Wishing you a very very Successful Day, my dear, in spite of all those a-Holes who don't even know how to get out of BED in The Morning.....!

Ragdoll Mommy said...

Wow, 900 posts? Congrats! I'm in the 300s with that; I've only been doing this for 10 months. :)

Abby said...

It was too crowded? Needs more trees!? The band needs to play just for US?!?

And these people vote...

Charles Gramlich said...

Command the trees to grow. Or, perhaps you could just part some local body of water and have the waves tower high enough to provide shade for everyone.

Egads. The Crazy shit people ask for.

Granny Annie said...

It is a great cause and I am happy to contribute every year. Love you love your work:)

Now for a little rant of my own. You know all the trouble I have with US Cellular? Well yesterday I got and EMAIL from a customer service rep who said we can't respond to you because we don't have your EMAIL address and this was sent to my EMAIL ADDRESS!!!!!

My Girl Murphy said...

Oh Riot Kitty, you know I could never do your job. It sucks, to be honest. My apologies for the idiot questions from people somehow related to me. I just hope that the golden shower oreos make up for it all...see you there!

Birdie said...

Yay for 900 posts!

I wish we could have an island for people that say stupid shit. The thing is, since I entered peri-menopause I would end up on it!

G. B. Miller said...

Yippee for 900!

'Course, that means you're about 300 away from me. :D

Yes, I will have to agree that you suffered through a severe outbreak of S.I.S.S. for your event.

For those of you who have never encountered such an outbreak or heard of the phrase, one of the "S's" stand for Stupid.

Father Nature's Corner

Introverted Art said...

keep going, keep fighting, keep ranting!!!!

Lee said...

That's why I dress in camouflage when I go people don't recognise me and as stupid questions...but I have to be careful when I camouflage myself as a know...the dogs...they can be a problem!

Congrats on your 900th ra...I mean post, RK! :)

Riot Kitty said...

EC: Dedication to ranting, at least ;) So glad I can make you laugh.
Joey: If you start an email that way, I *know* it'll still be an intelligent one. Not a "we need more trees" one...
Ily: OMG yes! Roommates!! If I'm old, I'll have an excuse ;)
Naomi: Thanks so much for the donation! And Oy Vey sums it up.
Ragdoll: I'm impressed! You're on track to beat me very soon.
Abby: I wonder...but yeah. Scary thought.
Charles: I emailed your comment to my buddy who got the trees comment! Fucking fantastic.
GA: Thank you again. And...OMFG. Velro, I tell you. Velcro explains it all!
Murphy: Ah, I still owe you some of those golden shower Oreos! Thanks so much for coming. I know how you hate crowds. Somehow you managed to hide from Mr. RK, the photographer...hmm...
Birdie: An island is a fantastic idea! But you and I would be making fun of them from afar.
GB: I know you can sympathize...I think if I had to deal with the SISS outbreaks you have to cope with, I'd fry my own hands and eat them.
IA: Will do!
Lee: LOL! Thanks.

Lynn said...

I admire the work you do so much - and love that you can rant away to us (your friends.) xo

Scarlet said...

RK, did you get my reply? I'm at

Rock Chef said...

Hm, given that so many people fail to read the FAQs, why not add some of these and similar questions at the end, for the entertainment of those who DO read the FAQs...

Furry Bottoms said...

Aw, people are so annoying! You put up with a lot for a good cause though, I have to give you kudos for that. I put up with a lot and I wonder why I do it. Erump. Oh and congrats on 900th post! :) Purrr!

A Beer For The Shower said...

900? Wow, congrats! We aren't even at half of that.

I love the band one. If you wanted to hear the band at the finish line, maybe your team should have gone faster, you lazy, out of shape wimp.

Vanessa Morgan said...

900 posts?! That's a LOT. Congratulations.

DWei said...

Really? You thought I was joking? Really? Here:

Would I ever lie to you?

Dexter Klemperer said...

Yeah people seem to think an FAQ is just a survey rather than the fountain of information that it is. I do like the suggestion for more trees though.

Anonymous said...

Those trees that you are planting......could you make them a mix of oak, walnut and maple? We squirrels love those. Thanks.

CraveCute said...

Hahaha! Laughing at what Igsuirrel wrote. Ok, now 900 posts, wow that is a lot of ranting and I LOVE it. This is the only place I can go and experience your rant and take it on as my own. My own blog is usually un-rantless and yes I know I am making up my own words. Just another thing I get to do here. Using your comments section to do my own rants. I feel better now, feel free to delete this, I understand.

Riot Kitty said...

Lynn: Thank you! And thanks for donating!
Scarlet: Wrote you :)
RC: That is a fantastic idea.
Furry: Thanks!
ABFTS: Yeah, I was thinking the same ;)
Vanessa: Thanks!
DW: Interesting. Does this mean I can be a comic book character now?
Dex: Right ;)
LG: I'll get right on that!
CC: Happy to help :)

Mike_D said...