One of the things I came home with from the hospital was a new routine. Despite having a very health lifestyle, genetics resulted in my being diabetic, so food and routine have been modified.
Some things I did not know:
1. Learning how to prick your finger to do blood sugar tests is sort of like cutting yourself shaving, except that you do it on purpose, several times a day. Either it hurts like hell and you get no blood (maybe I am a vampire?) or it doesn't hurt so much and you nearly bleed to death. Mr. RK says maybe it would help if one were naturally a prick?
2. Beware sugar-free foods. In a sweet (no pun intended) gesture, Mr. RK ran out right when I got home from the hospital and bought a bunch of sugar-free treats. Some of these - Fudgsicles and Swiss Miss cocoa - are to die for. The little box of chocolate-coated cookie wafers, however, spelled danger. Mid-bite into our first cookie, Mr. RK exclaimed, "Oh!!! I just read the label! 'Excessive consumption may cause a laxative effect.'"
"Do you want another cookie?"
Me: "No. Never, come to think of it."
3. Not all sugar-free foods will carry this warning. You might get really excited, say, theoretically, about low-carb, sugar-free chocolate from Trader Joe's, and have an experience equivalent to when your dishwasher blew up. Hint: when the dishwasher quit, I tacked a note to it that read, "Do not use. WILL GO BOOM." Said chocolate bars should come with the same note.
4. Just like when you get your wisdom teeth out, chips are essentially forbidden. And just like when you got your teeth out, your partner will discreetly move the basket of chips at your favorite Mexican restaurant away from you.
5. Good news! You can eat all of the organic peanut butter, tofu, feta cheese, soy products, and tahini that you like. Peanut butter has been so rapidly disappearing in our house that Mr. RK said, "I think I found out where your superpower comes from."
6. Another perk is that your partner will feel so sorry for you that he will agree that you two need a new couch. Perhaps this diagnosis was really given by Ikea.