Sunday, June 24, 2012

Adventures in sugar-free land

One of the things I came home with from the hospital was a new routine. Despite having a very health lifestyle, genetics resulted in my being diabetic, so food and routine have been modified.

Some things I did not know:

1. Learning how to prick your finger to do blood sugar tests is sort of like cutting yourself shaving, except that you do it on purpose, several times a day. Either it hurts like hell and you get no blood (maybe I am a vampire?) or it doesn't hurt so much and you nearly bleed to death. Mr. RK says maybe it would help if one were naturally a prick?

2. Beware sugar-free foods. In a sweet (no pun intended) gesture, Mr. RK ran out right when I got home from the hospital and bought a bunch of sugar-free treats. Some of these - Fudgsicles and Swiss Miss cocoa - are to die for. The little box of chocolate-coated cookie wafers, however, spelled danger. Mid-bite into our first cookie, Mr. RK exclaimed, "Oh!!! I just read the label! 'Excessive consumption may cause a laxative effect.'"

Pause.

"Do you want another cookie?"
 Me: "No. Never, come to think of it."

3. Not all sugar-free foods will carry this warning. You might get really excited, say, theoretically, about low-carb, sugar-free chocolate from Trader Joe's, and have an experience equivalent to when your dishwasher blew up. Hint: when the dishwasher quit, I tacked a note to it that read, "Do not use. WILL GO BOOM." Said chocolate bars should come with the same note.

4. Just like when you get your wisdom teeth out, chips are essentially forbidden. And just like when you got your teeth out, your partner will discreetly move the basket of chips at your favorite Mexican restaurant away from you.


5. Good news! You can eat all of the organic peanut butter, tofu, feta cheese, soy products, and tahini that you like. Peanut butter has been so rapidly disappearing in our house that Mr. RK said, "I think I found out where your superpower comes from."

6. Another perk is that your partner will feel so sorry for you that he will agree that you two need a new couch. Perhaps this diagnosis was really given by Ikea.


15 comments:

lgsquirrel said...

Sorry to hear about your diabetes. Can't imagine drawing blood several times a day. I'd probably faint to the sound of my wife cheerfully shouting "Man Down! Ma Down! I mean, Wuss Down! Wuss Down!"

Darn it. The picture of the cat looking at those "chips"?/ "pancakes"?, is making me hungry.

Granny Annie said...

You will make it work and especially with Mr. R.K. reading the labels for you:) Don't go BOOM!

NellieVaughn said...

I am tested for diabetes, like most people, during my yearly physical, and it is not pleasant. I can't imagine doing that several times a day. Oh, if you want to try new foods, there's this great Foodie pen pal program I just found out about thanks to a great blogger. I just joined it. You just tell your pen pal you're a diabetic and she/he sends you all this great food for you to try.

Catherine, ex oh mwah! said...

Ugh, sugar is one thing that I don't think I'd be able to live without. My thoughts are with you, as I dip my finger into the jar of nutella...

Matt said...

It's really frequent on both sides of my family so I'm sure I'll get it one day too >.> Those are all things I didn't know either, I'm not really sure what to say but I hope you are feeling ok with the situation.

Lynn said...

A new couch! Score! Mr. RK sounds like the best husband in the world.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

The laxative effect is all the fault of those evil sweetening chemicals like Sorbitol and Mannitol. I found that out the hard way too, LOL!

A Beer for the Shower said...

Ouch. That sounds pretty awful.

The way I think of it, they have to put something in those sweets to make them still taste like sweets, and somehow, that stuff is probably worse than just regular sugar.

Shionge said...

My Mom is diabetic and she has to inject insulin every day which is painful to watch so I know how you feel RK.

Just be careful on your diet and exercise ya, big hugs !! :D

G. B. Miller said...

"Welcome to My World", is something that under normal circumstances I would utter with gleeful derision.

No such derision here as becoming an inhabitant of my particular slice of the world is something that I do not wish on my worse enemy, let alone a cherished friend such as yourself.

I just know that you'll be able to assimilate this dreaded intrusion into your active lifestyle and thus control it, instead of letting it control you for the moment.

And remember, to get even with people and prevent them from using your food products, acquire a taste for unsweetened Kool Aid. That way, when someone asks you for a refreshing drink, you can offer them, with evil intent and a cheerful smile, a glass of your unsweetened Kool Aid.

Scarlet said...

"Never, come to think of it" is a great answer to Mr. RK's question. LOVED that!

I'm sorry you have to go through the pricking and strict diet; I can't imagine what a bummer that is. Luckily, you have a thing for peanut butter.

PS - The kitties are PRECIOUS! I want one.

Darth Weasel said...

had doctor appointment the other day. You and I have discussed my needle paranoia before. He pricked my finger for that drop of blood. or tried to. He said it was incredibly hard to do his job with me pulling away like that.

Someday someone will come up with a better way to do the blood sugar test. until then, enjoy your sweet husband who is entirely too wimpy and frightened to get on his bike and go for a ride so masks it with excuses about needing to take care of his better half.

unlike most of his excuses...that one I appreciate. :-)

Riot Kitty said...

Geez! I was hoping to make people laugh, not feel sorry for me. Thanks for the good thoughts though. She says, eating a sugar-free Fudgsicle.

skyewriter said...

Hey, Riot.

Sorry to read this, but it seems like you are taking the best approach: humor. :)

There's a *great* cookbook by Marlene Koch titled _Eat What You Love_; it has some *really* amazing desserts and other diabetic friendly foods.

Can you have Stevia?

Riot Kitty said...

Skye: Awesome! I'll check it out. Not sure about Stevia, I'll ask.